God's Creation - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

uncle phil · 08-03-2009, 02:14 AM

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him resting on the seventh day.

He inquired, "Where have you been?"

God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things."

God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, pointed to a land area and said, "What's that?"

"That's the State of Texas, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful rivers, mountains, streams, lakes, forests, hills, beaches and plains. The people from the State of Texas are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance."

God smiled, "There's Washington DC .

Wait till you see the idiots I put there. ”

genuinegirly · 08-06-2009, 04:23 AM

Which native american tribes are from Texas, anyway?

cellophanedeity · 08-06-2009, 06:42 AM

Boo! Hiss!

Tully Mars · 08-06-2009, 05:42 PM

You've never actually been to Texas have you?

Sharon · 08-06-2009, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by uncle phil

God smiled, "There's Washington DC .

Wait till you see the idiots I put there. ”

Like a certain Texan gentleman who recently spent eight years there?

Punk.of.Ages · 08-06-2009, 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sharon

Like a certain Texan gentleman who recently spent eight years there?

That's where I thought this joke was going...

uncle phil · 08-07-2009, 02:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tully Mars

You've never actually been to Texas have you?

spent many weeks in that fair state...

08-03-2009, 02:14 AM	#1 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	God's Creation God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him resting on the seventh day. He inquired, "Where have you been?" God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused." God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things." God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The Archangel, impressed by God's work, pointed to a land area and said, "What's that?" "That's the State of Texas, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful rivers, mountains, streams, lakes, forests, hills, beaches and plains. The people from the State of Texas are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things." Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance." God smiled, "There's Washington DC . Wait till you see the idiots I put there. ” __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

08-06-2009, 04:23 AM	#2 (permalink)
genuinegirly Eat your vegetables Super Moderator Location: Arabidopsis-ville	Which native american tribes are from Texas, anyway? __________________ "Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq "violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

08-06-2009, 06:42 AM	#3 (permalink)
cellophanedeity Heliotrope Location: A warm room	Boo! Hiss! __________________ who am I to refuse the universe? -Leonard Cohen, Beautiful Losers

08-06-2009, 05:42 PM	#4 (permalink)
Tully Mars Living in a Warmer Insanity Super Moderator Location: Yucatan, Mexico	You've never actually been to Texas have you? __________________ I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club