07-13-2009, 08:21 PM | #1 (permalink) |
Upright
Location: within driving distance of ATL
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On the perils of traveling, even in magical lands
For most of the past 10 years, the majority of my time has been spent in online RPGs (no, that's not meant to be the funny part). In order to make my humor fit, I have adjusted my humor to fit... other places. Anyhow, I can't take full credit for this one:
As you no doubt are aware, there are mystical, magical, wonderful forces afoot within Norrath that allow one to survive the most gruesome of fates. Death seems to have as much permanence here as an ice-cream cone in the heat of summer. Fatality is but an inconvenience for us. Then there are the truly awe inspiring feats accomplished by the mighty healers of the land. Wounds ranging from minor scratches to gaping horrors are banished by these great wielders of the healing arts. I would tell you now of one such healer, and his patient. While running across the jagged landscape of the Frontier Mountains, an adventurer fell a great and vast distance. From what I understand, the distance was such that the fear and anticipation of hitting the ground was greater than the pain of the actual impact. Unfortunately, the poor adventurer in question broke both of his ankles. He howled in pain and terror, sure that he would die, lonely and forsaken among the rocky terrain. But alas! The Gods must have been smiling down on him that day, as it was not a Mountain Giant that heard his bellows, but a Master Healer, more than up to the task of mending this poor adventurers broken apendages. The Healer concentrated, waved his arms, and chanted sacred prayers to his god. His long hair seemed ot fly out in the breeze. An aura of immeasurable power began to radiate around him. Then, with a simple nod towards the fallen adventurer, the aura blazed out from the Healer, completely healing the adventurer, essentially giving him a new pair of ankles. The pair of adventurers then carefully made their way towards the land known as Overthere. The Healer accompanied the adventurer. He did not want his new patient and comrade to meet with any further unfortunate accidents. However, the adventurer was a brash, brazen, and sometimes foolhardy young man. He dashed out ahead of the Healer, who, in his advanced years, was unable to keep up. Unfortunately for the adventurer, some kind of walking plant had strayed far from it's usual hunting grounds. Perhaps it was a hedge of some sort. Maybe a distant cousin of the Succlents known to travel in Overthere. Regardless, the adventurer, running at break-neck speed, tripped over this mobile foliage. He fell head over heels, tumbling over and over, completely smashing his freshly repaired bones. And so, friends, we come to the moral of this tale: "You can't try second ankles with stray hedge encompassed." \/ |
07-14-2009, 12:46 PM | #11 (permalink) |
Evil Priest: The Devil Made Me Do It!
Location: Southern England
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"Hans who does dishes is soft as Jervaise with wild green hairy-lipped squid"?
also, "Rude Olf the Ted loathes train beer"
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Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air, And deep beneath the rolling waves, In labyrinths of Coral Caves, The Echo of a distant time Comes willowing across the sand; And everthing is Green and Submarine ╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝ |
07-14-2009, 01:27 PM | #12 (permalink) |
Junkie
Location: My head.
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Guys, I get it I get it!! The joke is really on you. Verdan is really sitting reading the responses laughing his ass off at us trying to decipher what he's trying to say. Either that or he's really the_Jazz.
Bet you wish you could anonymous post here huh now Jazz.!! |
07-14-2009, 02:45 PM | #13 (permalink) |
Upright
Location: within driving distance of ATL
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I share your confusion and bewilderment.
The punchline is a pun and it relates to a geometry rule or theorem or somesuch: You can't trisect an angle using a straight edge and compass. My chemistry professor drove a Mercedes Benzene... |
07-24-2009, 05:46 PM | #14 (permalink) |
I'll be on the veranda, since you're on the cross.
Location: Rand McNally's friendliest small town in America. They must have strayed from the dodgy parts...
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Wow...just...wow. My brain hurts.
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I've got the love of my life and a job that I enjoy most of the time. Life is good. |
07-25-2009, 01:29 AM | #15 (permalink) |
Crazy
Location: Charlotte, NC
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Uh, stupid math jokes. I never get them.
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"With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion." - Steven Weinberg |
Tags |
lands, magical, perils, traveling |
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