Flinx

President George Bush was in the Oval Office wondering which country to
invade next, when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, President Bush " a heavily accented voice said. "This is Archie,
up ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove , Newfoundland , Canada ,
eh? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on ya!"

"Well Archie," George replied, "This is indeed important news !
How big is your army ?"

"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself,
me cousin Harold , me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team
from the pub. That makes eight!"

George paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in my
army waiting to move on my command."

"Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. " Mr. Bush , the war is
still on!
We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Archie?" George asked.

"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor."

President Bush sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks
and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to
one and a half million since we last spoke."

"Lard t'underin' b'y", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."

Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day.. "President Bush , the war
is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an'
modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit,
and four b'ys from the Legion have joined us as well!"

George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you
Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military
complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And
since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Jumpins," said Archie, "l'll have ta call youse back."

Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. " President Bush ! I am
sorry to have to tell you dat we're callin' off dis 'ere war."

"I'm sorry to hear that" said George . "Why the sudden change of heart?"

Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long
chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two million prisoners."

Daniel_

Nice one.

I've heard it as Ireland decalres war on France too.

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Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
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DaniGirl

I need more sleep. When I saw the topic of this thread1 ( without looking at the fact it came from the tilted humor forum ) my first thought was "shit what did we do now". So that made reading this thread even more funny.

---------- Post added at 08:58 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:57 AM ----------

uncle phil

that's funny...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

hunnychile

"The Mouse That Roared".

__________________
"I need compassion, understanding and chocolate." - NJB