Michael Jackson Jokes
 

ok, so he's been gone a few hours, and ive got the MJ jokes coming in thick and fast by SMS.

share your MJ jokes. Old and new. In living memory of MJ!

if you're easily offended, just remember..this IS the humour section.

This one's my favourite so far

Michael Jackson left it in his Will that he wasnt to be melted down and turned into a playstation so all the little kids will still play with him

What do Michael Jackson and K-Mart have in common?




Little boys pants half off....

so in timing with Michael Jackson dying, McDonalds is celebrating his life with the MJ burger,


it's 50 year old meat in between 10 year old buns



(horrible but I only laughed because of the association to mcd's)

I can only think of jokes that work when you tell them irl. Typing them out doesn't make sense.

I liked Fark's announcement that he was getting ready to film "Thriller 2, Electric Boogaloo".

What does Michael Jackson love best about 27 year olds?
There are 20 of them.

how do you know it's time to go to bed in Michael Jackson's house?

the big hand touches the little hand...

what too soon?

Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett in the same day....

Two cultural icons....

"Farrackson" will be dearly missed.

Not exactly MJ but...

When the news about Michael came out, some friends and I immediately thought about celebrities and the rule of 3 (celebs always die in trios). Michael + Farrah + Ed McMahon = 3. But then someone brought up David Caradine and how no one else died when he did or how this made 4. That's when I said, "no, the rule of 3 still stands. Caradine's pride and dignity died at the same time."

I don't normally like to kill jokes, but Koko "Queen of the Blues" Taylor and David Eddings died at around the same time as Carradine. :uhh:

Rain on my parade, why don't you? :mad:

Here's another attempt:

Attachment 19189

:lol:

goddamn you Jazz I was about to post that.


When Farrah Fawcett arrived at heaven, God granted her one wish. She wished for all the children to be safe. So God killed Michael Jackson.

did anyone laugh at my post #4?

that was the funniest thing i could think of...

errr...actually.. NO!

am i missing something here? whats the catch?

Oh, fuck, Gucci...

That shit's rich.

I did. I'm not quite sure why I did though...:expressionless:

unc: ...no, but i'm laughing at your post #15 :lol:

What do Michael Jackson and St. Louis Cardinal fans have in common?
They both love Pujols.

---------- Post added at 11:55 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:49 AM ----------

Also, maybe they will reanimate his corpse for a one time only Thriller tour.

I was just wondering if the jokes would stop for a bit since he died...

well considering this thread was created after he died..

no.

Contrary to initial reports, Michael Jackson was not dead when he arrived at the hospital, however when he was being pushed through the children's ward, he reportedly had a quick stroke.

MJ requested that his remains were to be made into plastic bags, so he can still pose a threat to children.

Difference between MJ and Disney films? Disney films can still touch kids.

When they were talking about it on the news this morning I looked at Jenna and said "Jesus news, why don't you just BEAT IT to death". That got a few laughs.

also: "Sad news in the world of entertainment; Michael Jackson, the king of pop, has died of cardiac arrest. Jackson was 50. Initial reports coming in claim that he suffered a heart attack when he learned Boys II Men wasn't a delivery service."

damn.. there is so much win in this thread..

no. I know that in that photo it's not time for bed because the big hand isn't touching the little hand.

Apparently Gary Glitter was very happy to find that Michael has left him his photo albums in the will.

RIP, easy as 1, 2, 3...

Not a joke but funny.

...and it might be pushing it. If so I apologize.

http://img265.imageshack.us/img265/4...5271715425.jpg

http://tolppa.apina.biz/full/17686.gif

http://media.ebaumsworld.com/2008/04/Alien-1.jpg

So, Am I the only one that noticed in the CSI:Miami cartoon, he has his glasses on.. and he is putting another pair on...

I'd like to say I'm gonna miss David Eddings' writing but since his wife wrote like all of his books, I'm sure I won't notice.

Farrackson!

jeebus is weeping...

LOL

Michael Jackson will always be with us.

He is not biodegradable.

http://i41.tinypic.com/wvxqar.jpg

http://dfwdj.org/DFWdj/FOOD_POISON.png

So I thought it was tasteless enough with what Michael Jackson’s last words were…


“Take me to Children’s Hospital”

But these ones make me feel downright angelic in comparison…

---------------------------------------------------
Jacko Memorial Joke 1

Reports of Michael Jackson having a heart
attack are incorrect.

He was found in the childrens ward having
a stroke.

Jacko Memorial Joke 2

Michael Jackson died of shock after finding out
Boyz II Men was a band not a delivery service.


Jacko Memorial Joke 3

Jockeys at tomorrow's race meetings will wear
black armbands out of respect for Michael Jackson,
who successfully rode more three yr olds than
anyone in living memory.

Jacko Memorial Joke 4

McDonald's are bringing out the Michael
Jackson tribute burger.
50 year old meat between two 7 year old buns.


Jacko Memorial Joke 5

Michael Jackson actually died of food poisoning.
He ate some 12 year old nuts.

...Er or was it a five-year old wiener?


Jacko Memorial Joke 6

50 kids have volunteered to identify the body
as they have first-hand experience of
seeing Michael Jackson stiff.

Jacko Memorial Joke 7

Michael Jackson's legal team announced that
he had agreed to be melted down by undertakers
to make plastic toys. So, kids can play with him for a change.


Jacko Memorial Joke 8

It has been reported on the "Angels News" Michael Jackson was refused entry to heaven due
to the fact they don’t accept plastic

---------- Post added at 06:36 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:28 PM ----------

Nope, no way...we're just getting warmed up!! :thumbsup:

---------- Post added at 06:36 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:36 PM ----------

Nope, no way...we're just getting warmed up!! :thumbsup:

I find it hilarious that this forum once had a specific rule about Michael Jackson jokes. I find it absurd that the jokes are okay now that he's dead.

Not that I cared about the rule in the first place, but this flip flopping killed me.

there was?

I didn't know there was ever a rule against Michael Jackson jokes...

I'm a rule breaker, anyhow.

Well I'm glad I wasn't a member back then.