777

<Moonpie> one time, in middle school, some people let some pigs onto the campus. They painted on the pigs "1", "2", and "4". The faculty spent weeks looking for the third one.

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<Calren> Zaphod, do you think that if I arrange AOL CD's in a pentagram I will be able to use the powers of darkness to control the actions of mortals?

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(@Li-Sonder) i'm going to build a castle from the empty soda cans on my desk
(@Li-Sonder) and declare myself king of this desk
(@Li-Sonder) and rule it with an iron fist
(@Li-Sonder) and make all the ants pay taxes
(@Li-Infinite) wow
(@Li-Infinite) you got way too much time on your hand.
(@Li-Sonder) you mean my iron fist.

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<SmilinBob> !8ball... what's wrong with my e-mail?
<FarkStats> SmilinBob: Ask again later.
<SmilinBob> !8ball what's wrong with my e-mail?
<FarkStats> SmilinBob: Outlook not so good.

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queenren24: i need your advice
queenren24: cause you're a guy and all
MrFluffyPants26: that I am
queenren24: what would you, as a guy, rather have for your birthday or christmas: a video game or that axe stuff that smells SOOO good?
MrFluffyPants26: Axe DOES smell good...
MrFluffyPants26: what video game?
queenren24: rome: total war
MrFluffyPants26: hm...
MrFluffyPants26: probably the game
MrFluffyPants26: but give him sexual favors too
MrFluffyPants26: can't go wrong with that
queenren24: :O
MrFluffyPants26: precisely

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<tima> i found that the only way to keep my appartement clean is to start occational fires
<WillaCuz> everyone that rides in my car says 'i feel lik im in the batmobile'
<pagan> thats cuz you wear that fucking rediculouse outfit

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<Char> i think my favourite smooth move of his was when she said in aim he was kind of being creepy
<Char> so he got her mobile number form somewhere and phoned to apologise

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<EiNHanDeR MK II> does anyone find it peculiar that the winner of the running olympics is black, and the white guys always win rifle and accuracy competitions?

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<Curt^> and mexicans try so hard to goto my land
<Filefragg> electric fences would help
<Curt^> Mexicans would just use them as a power source

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"no.. a freudian slip is when you say one thing but you mean your mother."

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man do I need a wifi card for my laptop; I tried to plug into a router at a downtown coffee shop and they got all mad at me

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<justie> i did something stupid
<justie> chmod -x chmod
<justie> anyone knows how to fix it?

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Unregistered> I think shes finally lost it...she sitting in the corner going *beep* *beep* and pretending shes a computer in the hope I will pay attention to her....

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lemonlimeskull: You know you've been chatting too long when you think C:/> is some kind of depressed Arab smiley.

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MorningQueen: Why are you against abortion?
MassHypnosisJoe: I'm just against women making choices

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<Demon Beaver> So, at the LAN-party, there was a new guy.
<Demon Beaver> And when he went for a drink, we snuck up to his pc, and created a folder called Horse-Porn on the desktop.
<Demon Beaver> Then we took a screenshot, put it as his wallpaper, and deleted the folder.
<Demon Beaver> He tried to get rid of that folder for 3 hours! ^^

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<Omnica> Man, I love air new zealand... the flight attendant was saying the usual about emergency exits and shit when suddenly "and for those passengers who are sitting in first class, instead of life jackets, you will find parachutes under your seat thank you and enjoy your flight"

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Pep Boy Manny02: I was a little disappointed yesterday.
Pep Boy Manny02: Got "Religion for Dummies" from the library.
Pep Boy Manny02: You know how the "...For Dummies" books usually have the bomb icon for, "Don't do this!"?
Pep Boy Manny02: This one didn't.

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<anamexis> oh man
<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@ cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
<anamexis> and it exploded
<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
<anamexis> but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick fuckers)
<anamexis> :<

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Does it say something about me when my idea of a peaceful evening is when I'm curled up in front of the warm glow of a CRT with a good PDF?

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This End-User License is an agreement between Microsoft Corporation (hereafter referred to as "Microsoft") and you, the end-user (hereafter referred to as "our bitch").

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<[BAD]Beef> I AM SO SMART
<[BAD]Beef> follow my reasoning
<[BAD]Beef> my comp has no floppy drive
<[BAD]Beef> so I go downstairs to make a boot floppy on another comp
<[BAD]Beef> I come back in my room with the floppy in my hand
<[BAD]Beef> and bang my head against the wall

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<@charlie_x> i have a command line program on my pc called dont.com
<@charlie_x> if you type dont format c:\
<@charlie_x> it says
<@charlie_x> "ok i wont"

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Clainsynar: What if all numbers were multiples of pi and our integer system was wrong?
TokMor: stop having such irrational thoughts

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DerANgeD: not cool! ctrl+w closes firefox
DerANgeD: I was trying to press shift+w and accidentally hit my ctrl button
Triumph: whats shift+w?
DerANgeD: a capital W dumbass

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*** Darth-Phenom is now known as Guest38697
*** Sopabuena is now known as Guest21415
*** TheRealMatt is now known as Guest60273
*** Whitney is now known as Guest15303
<Flirbnic> Hey, cool. The sum of all the Guest numbers that just occurred in here, divided by 8, equals 16961.
<Flirbnic> $calc((15303+60273+38697+21415)/8)
<Flirbnic> ...
<Flirbnic> I have no life.

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(Mootar) morons.
(Mootar) these people who live in my apartment complex are connected to my wireless
(Mootar) they must think they're super-cool hackers by breaking into my completely unsecure network
(Mootar) unfortunatly, the connection works both ways
(Mootar) long story short, they now have loads of horse porn on their computer

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<samsim> I heard about this guy who broke into a lion's den at the zoo
<samsim> and got mauled
<samsim> and people were talking about how there should have been better defences put up to prevent people getting into the cage
<samsim> a friend of mine suggested setting up some kind of deterrent
<samsim> for example, putting some sort of fierce animal in the cage, which would attack anybody who climbed in

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<Patrician|Away> what does your robot do, sam
<bovril> it collects data about the surrounding environment, then discards it and drives into walls

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<Zanthis(ALE)> AFK, tornado

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<VolteFace`> don't you hate it when you shit on the floor, and you can hear it fall but you have no idea where it actually landed, and spend like 5 minutes looking for it
<peng> ...
<peng> what?
<VolteFace`> oh shit
<VolteFace`> don't you hate it when you DROP shit

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(Elim) bah had to do finals today....finals they're like sex, i get done too quick, and i sit there quiet for an hour thinking about what i did wrong...

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<Cobra> so i was watching a pr0n
<Thunder> wait
<Thunder> why u guys always say pr0n instead of porn ??
Thunder has been kicked by Guardian (No porn on this channel !)
<Cobra> ...
<Cobra> so i was watching a pr0n

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<FoXeh> The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass
<FoXeh> Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
<FoXeh> Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
<FoXeh> Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
<FoXeh> Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
<FoXeh> Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
<FoXeh> Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

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<ChevyCXVII> I just downloaded WinRARInstaller.rar, I'd like to know what moron put that one together.

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ZOverLord says: Cat in Germany Has Bird Flu.
ZOverLord says: BERLIN - The deadly strain of bird flu has been found in a cat in northern Germany, the first time the virus has been identified in the country in an animal other than a bird, a national lab said Tuesday.
AmeritecTech says: This will not be good for already tense cat-bird relations.

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< Darien> I saw a coworker trying to figure out how to make his chair lean back
< Darien> he was on the ground looking at the bottom of it
< Darien> we talk about the chairs for a minute or so
< Darien> then he puts on his headset, hits a button on his phone, and says 'Sorry ma'am, thanks for holding.'

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<inspin> so just as I cutting into my pizza, the bell rang
<inspin> It was the little girl from nextdoor, asking where my sister was
<inspin> so I hold up the knife covered in tomatosauce and say in an evil voice "she's not here right now"
<3ll3> LOL
<inspin> so she screams and runs away
<inspin> I felt guitly so I start chasing her saying "I'm sorry"
<inspin> Then her father sees me chasing after his little girl with, what he must have thougt, a bloody knife
<3ll3> I hope he called the cops on you
<inspin> well no, but I don't think I'm getting my knife back anytime soon

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<LawrenceC> Some of us in another channel have come up with the perfect replacement for the Pledge of Allegiance!
<LawrenceC> You see, our genious plan was to take the Pledge of Allegiance, as it stands, and run it through Babelfish a few times.
<LawrenceC> So, after transating it to Spanish and back, then to Korean and back, we came up with:
* Jinnai|Shigoto fears lawrence's next statement :P
* Leliel also :P
<LawrenceC> "Me with the flag of United States of United States the republic which it stops, in the nation all for a loyalty, in freedom and process, it promised in the shoes lower part it will be able to divide c."
<Suika|away> divide c!
<Suika|away> that's so moving

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<@guinea-pig> an ion walks into a bar and says "i think i left an electron here lastnight"
<@guinea-pig> and the bartender says "are you positive?"
<sunny> hahahahaha
<mikegrb> that is awesome
<@guinea-pig> yes, we are geeks

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<Adjaro> i hate the internet
<Adjaro> i have spent 15 minutes looking for george bush with a lightsaber
<Adjaro> and have found NOTHING

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<Korras> friendship among women: one doesn't come home one night, and tells her bf that she spent the night with a female friend of hers. bf calls 10 of her friends, and none know a thing.
<Korras> friendship amongst men: same thing happens. man says he spent the night at a friends place. gf calls 10 of his friends. 8 confirm he has been there, and the two others say he's still there.

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<ensis> Well folks, I'm off to the farm
<ensis> I can actually say that too, how funny
<Bomp> They're lying
<Bomp> You're going to be put down

__________________
"I don't know that I ever wanted greatness, on its own. It seems rather like wanting to be an engineer, rather than wanting to design something - or wanting to be a writer, rather than wanting to write. It should be a by-product, not a thing in itself. Otherwise, it's just an ego trip."

Roger Zelazny

healer

Every chuckle just made me realise how much of a geek I actually am.

__________________

Xerxys

<tima> i found that the only way to keep my appartement clean is to start occational fires
<WillaCuz> everyone that rides in my car says 'i feel lik im in the batmobile'
<pagan> thats cuz you wear that fucking rediculouse outfit


ROTFLMAO!!!

LordEden

<Demon Beaver> So, at the LAN-party, there was a new guy.
<Demon Beaver> And when he went for a drink, we snuck up to his pc, and created a folder called Horse-Porn on the desktop.
<Demon Beaver> Then we took a screenshot, put it as his wallpaper, and deleted the folder.
<Demon Beaver> He tried to get rid of that folder for 3 hours! ^^

I laughed my ass off then thought of the people to do this too.

Funny as hell man.

__________________
Vice-President of the CinnamonGirl Fan Club - The Meat of the Zombiesquirrel and CinnamonGirl Sandwich

CinnamonGirl

I giggled at entirely too many of those. Thanks for sharing

__________________
"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world."


"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

Hektore

I <3 Bash.org

On a side note, you have to be careful with the screenshot bit. My friend had a computer he wanted to keep his mother off of, so he SS'd the desktop and hid everything. She spent almost 45 minutes on the phone with Compaq customer service before the guy gave up and just had her reformat.

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The advantage law is the best law in rugby, because it lets you ignore all the others for the good of the game.

ASU2003

Those are great. I've had the funny airline stewardess before and I love it.