uncle phil

Here's a prime example offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix:

The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent.

There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

THE FOLLOWING WAS ACTUALLY TURNED IN BY TWO OF HIS ENGLISH STUDENTS: REBECCA AND GARY.

THE STORY: (FIRST PARAGRAPH BY REBECCA)

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.


(SECOND PARAGRAPH BY GARY) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago." A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(REBECCA) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

(GARY) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.

(REBECCA) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

(GARY) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort ofF @$%*!@ TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an airheaded bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Wah, wah, wah!!!!!!!

(REBECCA) Asshole.

(GARY) Bitch

(REBECCA) Fuck YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!

(GARY) Go drink some tea - W$%#@!

(TEACHER) *A+ - I REALLY LIKED THIS ONE

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Shell

tee hee...earlier today i posted a similar truism that actually happened in the thread called
"What One New Thing Have You Learned In...TFP" (in member's playground)


`

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..."Say what you think. Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind" ~ Dr. Seuss

dlish

i got a few hearty laughs out of this one..im stealing this one for my mailing list...

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

Redlemon

Someone took this idea and made a children's book out of it... my 6 year old son LOVED it.

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I can't read your signature. Sorry.

carrot glace

hilarious, wonder if my english teacher would dig this

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"blaine is a pain and that is the truth"

lostgirl

That is too funny!

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We're about to go through the crucible, but we'll come out the other side.
We always arise from our own ashes. Everything returns later in its changed form. - Children of Dune

botabota

Awesome
I should send this to my prof.

Plan9

So true.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

JustDoll

hahahahaha the story was soooo creative..god..and the poster... i couldn't stop laughin.......i don't know why..its too funny...

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It's like you slit my throat, watched me bleed to death, and asked my dead body why I was screaming in so much pain.

CinnamonGirl

Awesome times ten.

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"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world."


"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

slick50

I couldn't wait to see how it ended!! Thanks

ring

Once was enough. Ocm? lives in the twin cities, & comes here on occasion.

blahblah454

That was hilarious! I laughed so hard reading that.

I was also really digging that guys story! My kind of guy.

dlish

every guys' kinda guy you mean!

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

Krihar

That was really funny, tell how it is:

A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband’s best friend. They … for hours, and afterwards, while they’re just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman’s house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looksover at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation… (She is speaking in a cheery voice)”Hello? Oh, hi. I’m so glad that you called. Really? That’s wonderful. I am so happy for you. That sounds terrifiic. Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye bye.” She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, “Who was that?” “Oh” she replies, “that was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he’s having on his fishing trip with you.”

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Life is full of style.

nrclark

Funny as hell !!!!