uncle phil

Anna had lost her husband almost four years ago. Her daughter was constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Anna said she'd go out, but didn't know anyone.

Her daughter immediately replied, "Mum! I have someone for you to meet."

Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend away.

Their first night there, she undressed as he did. There she stood nude, except for a pair of black lacy panties; he was in hi birthday suit.

Looking her over, he asked, "Why the black panties?"

She replied, "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning."

He knew he was not gettin g lucky that night.

The following night was the same- she stood there wearing the black panties, and he was in his birthday suit- but now he was wearing a black condom.

he looked at him and asked, "What's with the black condom?"

He replied, "I want to offer my deepest condolences."

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

jewels

Awww That's cute!

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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

Daniel_

We make black condoms.

They're chocolate flavoured.

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╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

Shell

...men can be so creative when they're motivated

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..."Say what you think. Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind" ~ Dr. Seuss

lostgirl

That really made me laugh. Thanks!

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We're about to go through the crucible, but we'll come out the other side.
We always arise from our own ashes. Everything returns later in its changed form. - Children of Dune

Xerxys

ROFL!!

prosequence

Love it! Hilarious.

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And now here I stand because of you, Mister Anderson, because of you I'm no longer an agent of the system, because of you I've changed...

blahblah454

ha! Did not see that coming!

lagoonguy

hehe

Plan9

Excellent!

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."