Amazingly simple home remedies
 

1. When choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of
boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly
remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the
toilet seat by using the sink.

4. To treat high blood pressure: simply cut yourself and
bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will
prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the
snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of
laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct
Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't
move and does, use the duct tape.

8. A blowtorch will relieve any itching resulting from contact with poison ivy.

Redlemon - Ha good one!

I love those

9. If you have the hiccups, hold your breath and count to 1,000,000,000.

10. Relationship on the rocks? Remember: A tarp and a shovel are cheaper than a divorce lawyer.

Y'all don't like the way Ah drive, y'all kin jis' stay the hayell off the sidewalks.

Any woman who is offended by the sight of a man masturbating, probably shouldn't have sat down next to him on the bus in the first place. :p:lol:

A bucket of manure on your picnic table will keep the flies off your food.