uncle phil

A group of kindergartners were trying very hard to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk!

'You need to use 'Big People' words,' she was always reminding them.

She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend?

'I went to visit my Nana.'

'No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Big People' words!'

She then asked Mitchell what he had done.

'I took a ride on a choo-choo.'

She said 'No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use 'Big People' words.'

She then asked little Alex what he had done?

'I read a book,' he replied.

'That's WONDERFUL!' the teacher said. 'What book did you read?'

Alex thought real hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride, and said,

'Winnie the SHIT.'

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

genuinegirly

hehehe.

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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

Iliftrocks

wacka wacka wacka

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bill hicks - "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out."

samclam2

ha, good stuff

Xerxys

**chuckle**

healer

Nice one.

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begavet

Pretty good haha!

Shell

...i thought this was going to be a fat joke

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..."Say what you think. Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind" ~ Dr. Seuss

Zesty

nice

ItWasMe

LoL. Sounds like something one of my kids would do.

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"Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez

I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe