The Miracle of Toilet Paper - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

uncle phil · 05-20-2009, 02:14 AM

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my
husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion: 'If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds'

Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. ' How long will this take?' I asked.

' They will grow larger over a period of years,' my husband replies.

I stopped. 'Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my
breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?'

Without missing a beat he says 'Worked for your backside, didn't it?'

He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again
although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw.

Kahn · 05-20-2009, 02:21 PM

I laughed so loud, I scared the cat and pissed off the wife .... she didn't seem to get the "joke" either

Xerxys · 05-20-2009, 03:28 PM

Superb!!

Plan9 · 05-20-2009, 09:23 PM

Haven't heard that one for a while. Makes me grin every time.

genuinegirly · 05-22-2009, 02:47 PM

That's hilarious! Though I imagine I wouldn't want it said to me =p

blahblah454 · 05-22-2009, 04:49 PM

Hey thats a good one! And for the record small boobies for the win!

05-20-2009, 02:14 AM	#1 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	The Miracle of Toilet Paper Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion: 'If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds' Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. ' How long will this take?' I asked. ' They will grow larger over a period of years,' my husband replies. I stopped. 'Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?' Without missing a beat he says 'Worked for your backside, didn't it?' He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw. __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

05-20-2009, 02:21 PM	#2 (permalink)
Kahn Psycho Location: Physically in Houston, TX - Mentally Lost in Time	I laughed so loud, I scared the cat and pissed off the wife .... she didn't seem to get the "joke" either __________________ Attention everyone: We have another potential asshole in the area ! You don't have bad luck, the reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass !! Dinner $50 Drinks $30 Motel $40 Finding out she swallows - PRICELESS!!!

05-20-2009, 09:23 PM	#4 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	Haven't heard that one for a while. Makes me grin every time. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake."

05-22-2009, 02:47 PM	#5 (permalink)
genuinegirly Eat your vegetables Super Moderator Location: Arabidopsis-ville	That's hilarious! Though I imagine I wouldn't want it said to me =p __________________ "Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq "violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

05-20-2009, 03:28 PM	#3 (permalink)
Xerxys Junkie Location: My head.	Superb!!

05-22-2009, 04:49 PM	#6 (permalink)
blahblah454 Let's put a smile on that face Location: On the road...	Hey thats a good one! And for the record small boobies for the win!