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Old 05-03-2009, 04:36 AM   #1 (permalink)
Living in a Warmer Insanity
 
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Military this and that-

WISDOM - FROM THE MILITARY MANUALS'

If the enemy is in range, so are you.'- Infantry Journal
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'It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.'-U.S. Air Force Manual
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'Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.'- General MacArthur
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'You, you, and you .. Panic.The rest of you, come with me.'- U.S. Marine Corps Gunnery Sergeant
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'Tracers work both ways.'-U.S. Army Ordnance
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'Five second fuses only last three seconds.'- Infantry Journal
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'Any ship can be a minesweeper.Once.'
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Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.' - Unknown Marine

If you see a bomb technician running, keep up with him!'

'Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death , I Shall Fear No Evil.For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing.' -SR-71 pilot

'You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.'- Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)
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'The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.'
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'If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.'
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'When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.'
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Even with ammunition, the Air Force is just another expensive flying club.'
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'What is the similarity betweenAirTrafficControllers (ATC) and pilots?If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies;If ATC screws up, ...... The pilot dies.'

'Never trade luck for skill.'
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The three most common expressions (or famous last words), in aviation are:
'Why is it doing that? 'Where are we?' And;'Oh ****!'
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'Airspeed, altitude and brains.Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.'
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'Mankind has a perfect record in aviation;we never left one up there!'
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'Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understandingor doing anything about it.'
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'The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you'- Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
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'There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.'-Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970
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'If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.'
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'You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.'
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As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft , having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives; the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks 'What happened?' The pilot's reply: 'I don't know, I just got here myself!' -Attributed to Ray Crandell(Lockheed test pilot)
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Old 05-03-2009, 04:40 AM   #2 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
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good ones...
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- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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Old 05-03-2009, 04:42 AM   #3 (permalink)
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haha. some funny stuff in there.
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Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
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Old 05-03-2009, 11:11 AM   #4 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
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Mmmm, I don't think these came from the manuals themselves. I think they're Murphy's Law bits.

I've read and own an insane amount of US Army FMs and TMs and they're never funny or ironic.
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Old 05-04-2009, 08:00 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Short and simple always makes me laugh
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Old 05-04-2009, 02:38 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Excellent reading for those of us TMless and FMless. Thanks
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Old 05-05-2009, 01:00 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Some good ones there. Thanks.
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Old 05-05-2009, 11:32 AM   #8 (permalink)
Living in a Warmer Insanity
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crompsin View Post
Mmmm, I don't think these came from the manuals themselves. I think they're Murphy's Law bits.

I've read and own an insane amount of US Army FMs and TMs and they're never funny or ironic.
Never in the Navy huh?
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Old 05-05-2009, 07:42 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Thanks , there are a couple of friggin hilarious ones ...
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Old 05-05-2009, 08:16 PM   #10 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tully Mars View Post
Never in the Navy huh?
Eh, I suck at swimming and didn't want the risk of being on a ship... so I decided jumping out of planes was safer.
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Old 05-05-2009, 08:38 PM   #11 (permalink)
WHEEEE! Whee! Whee! WHEEEE!
 
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A short story about my first field problem at Ft. Hood (Disclaimer: I was an asshole when I was 19)--

Shortly after I was assigned to my unit at Ft. Hood, we went on a short field problem--only a week or so I think. The last day of the field problem, I'm on the .50 cal, loaded with blanks, on a swivel turret mounted to a deuce and a half or a 5 ton, I can't remember, during the morning stand to. Out in the distance is a cow, as Ft. Hood was an open post and had cattle wandering all over the place, so I pop off a few blanks. Almost like magic, the CO, XO, and First Sergeant appear out of nowhere.

Top says,"Who fired their weapon?"

And I say, "I did, First Sergeant."

Top says, "Who were you firing at?"

And I say, "That cow, First Sergeant."

Top says, "Why where you firing at a cow?"

And I say, "Because he refused to stop and be identified, First Sergeant."

True story. And they must have thought I was just stupid or something, because that's all they said, they just left.
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Old 05-05-2009, 08:41 PM   #12 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
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That story makes me smile.
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