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Tully Mars 05-03-2009 04:36 AM

Military this and that-
 
WISDOM - FROM THE MILITARY MANUALS'

If the enemy is in range, so are you.'- Infantry Journal
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'It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.'-U.S. Air Force Manual
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'Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.'- General MacArthur
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'You, you, and you .. Panic.The rest of you, come with me.'- U.S. Marine Corps Gunnery Sergeant
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'Tracers work both ways.'-U.S. Army Ordnance
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'Five second fuses only last three seconds.'- Infantry Journal
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'Any ship can be a minesweeper.Once.'
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Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.' - Unknown Marine

If you see a bomb technician running, keep up with him!'

'Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death , I Shall Fear No Evil.For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing.' -SR-71 pilot

'You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.'- Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)
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'The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.'
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'If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.'
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'When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.'
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Even with ammunition, the Air Force is just another expensive flying club.'
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'What is the similarity betweenAirTrafficControllers (ATC) and pilots?If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies;If ATC screws up, ...... The pilot dies.'

'Never trade luck for skill.'
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The three most common expressions (or famous last words), in aviation are:
'Why is it doing that? 'Where are we?' And;'Oh ****!'
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'Airspeed, altitude and brains.Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.'
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'Mankind has a perfect record in aviation;we never left one up there!'
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'Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understandingor doing anything about it.'
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'The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you'- Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
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'There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.'-Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970
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'If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.'
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'You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.'
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As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft , having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives; the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks 'What happened?' The pilot's reply: 'I don't know, I just got here myself!' -Attributed to Ray Crandell(Lockheed test pilot)

uncle phil 05-03-2009 04:40 AM

good ones...

SSJTWIZTA 05-03-2009 04:42 AM

haha. some funny stuff in there.

Plan9 05-03-2009 11:11 AM

Mmmm, I don't think these came from the manuals themselves. I think they're Murphy's Law bits.

I've read and own an insane amount of US Army FMs and TMs and they're never funny or ironic.

portieri 05-04-2009 08:00 AM

Short and simple always makes me laugh

slick50 05-04-2009 02:38 PM

Excellent reading for those of us TMless and FMless. Thanks

Nimetic 05-05-2009 01:00 AM

Some good ones there. Thanks.

Tully Mars 05-05-2009 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crompsin (Post 2631788)
Mmmm, I don't think these came from the manuals themselves. I think they're Murphy's Law bits.

I've read and own an insane amount of US Army FMs and TMs and they're never funny or ironic.

Never in the Navy huh?

nrclark 05-05-2009 07:42 PM

Thanks , there are a couple of friggin hilarious ones ...

Plan9 05-05-2009 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tully Mars (Post 2632603)
Never in the Navy huh?

Eh, I suck at swimming and didn't want the risk of being on a ship... so I decided jumping out of planes was safer.

FuglyStick 05-05-2009 08:38 PM

A short story about my first field problem at Ft. Hood (Disclaimer: I was an asshole when I was 19)--

Shortly after I was assigned to my unit at Ft. Hood, we went on a short field problem--only a week or so I think. The last day of the field problem, I'm on the .50 cal, loaded with blanks, on a swivel turret mounted to a deuce and a half or a 5 ton, I can't remember, during the morning stand to. Out in the distance is a cow, as Ft. Hood was an open post and had cattle wandering all over the place, so I pop off a few blanks. Almost like magic, the CO, XO, and First Sergeant appear out of nowhere.

Top says,"Who fired their weapon?"

And I say, "I did, First Sergeant."

Top says, "Who were you firing at?"

And I say, "That cow, First Sergeant."

Top says, "Why where you firing at a cow?"

And I say, "Because he refused to stop and be identified, First Sergeant."

True story. And they must have thought I was just stupid or something, because that's all they said, they just left.

Plan9 05-05-2009 08:41 PM

That story makes me smile.


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