04-09-2009, 10:28 AM | #43 (permalink) |
Addict
Location: Midway, KY
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Agreed that they have had a lot of stinkers, but I laughed until I cried at a couple of Andy Sandberg's skits, like so:
C'mon. Tell me you didn't laugh at that?
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04-09-2009, 01:33 PM | #45 (permalink) |
lightform
Location: Edge of the deep green sea
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When someone has a birthday on April 1st and someone says "Were you born as a joke."
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We're about to go through the crucible, but we'll come out the other side. We always arise from our own ashes. Everything returns later in its changed form. - Children of Dune |
04-09-2009, 04:17 PM | #48 (permalink) | |
Psycho
Location: Physically in Houston, TX - Mentally Lost in Time
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Quote:
but uh, after 8 times, that jizz in my pants is still damn funny
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Attention everyone: We have another potential asshole in the area ! You don't have bad luck, the reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass !! Dinner $50 Drinks $30 Motel $40 Finding out she swallows - PRICELESS!!! |
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04-09-2009, 04:27 PM | #50 (permalink) |
Psycho
Location: Physically in Houston, TX - Mentally Lost in Time
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so, what you're telling us is that you jizz in your pants when you open the window?
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Attention everyone: We have another potential asshole in the area ! You don't have bad luck, the reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass !! Dinner $50 Drinks $30 Motel $40 Finding out she swallows - PRICELESS!!! |
04-09-2009, 04:57 PM | #51 (permalink) |
Psycho
Location: the center of the multiverse
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Talking food on TV commercials, terrified of being eaten by humans, e.g. the green and the red M&M's. I find talking food totally not funny.
Because, really, if a food was intelligent enough to talk, it would be totally wrong to eat it. (My kids, however, have found talking food, hilarious.) Last edited by Cynosure; 04-09-2009 at 04:59 PM.. |
04-11-2009, 06:03 PM | #55 (permalink) |
...is a comical chap
Location: Where morons reign supreme
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Anything with "izzle" added to the end of it. I hate that.
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"They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king" Formerly Medusa |
04-13-2009, 08:49 AM | #57 (permalink) | |
Junkie
Location: Near Raleigh, NC
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Quote:
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bill hicks - "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out." |
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04-14-2009, 10:17 AM | #65 (permalink) |
Registered User
Location: Right Here
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Here are a few I get for being tall:
How's the air up there? We all look up to you The basketball coach must have loved you The last one isn't something people say, but little kids love to walk between my legs. It happens everywhere! |
04-14-2009, 07:39 PM | #66 (permalink) |
Junkie
Location: France
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Dane Cook, that Mencia fucktard, the Blue Comedy guys, all the roasts.
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04-18-2009, 04:47 PM | #70 (permalink) | |
Junkie
Location: My head.
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Quote:
>>NSFW | LINK | NSFW<< |
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06-03-2009, 10:29 PM | #76 (permalink) |
Cheers
Location: Eastcoast USA
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2007 - Chinese Year of The Chicken - Bird Flu Pandemic devastates parts of Asia.
2008 - Chinese Year of the Horse - Equine Flu decimates Australian Horse Racing. 2009 - Chinese Year of the Pig - Swine Flu Pandemic kills thousands of pigs and infects thousands of people, sometimes fatally around the world. 1010 - Chinese year of the cock - now what could possibly go wrong? ... ...Uh Oh ! ! !
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..."Say what you think. Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind" ~ Dr. Seuss |
06-04-2009, 01:06 PM | #79 (permalink) |
change is hard.
Location: the green room.
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No way sir. I'm a dialogue man and there is nothing better then a terrific play on words; especially when it's dismissed in the dialogue (ie: not set up with a rim-shot, just stated plainly). Super effective.
I'll add: - Any thing that has to do with rednecks - Newfie Jokes - Jay Leno I will say, knowing I'll get burned in the process, I don't think there is anything that comedy "can't touch". I know a lot of people see it as dismissive but I just see it as a venue for thought. It's kind of my nature to not adhere I guess; I don't really get "offended" or "sad" when something incendiary happens in the world. I don't think that makes me a monster.
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EX: Whats new? ME: I officially love coffee more then you now. EX: uh... ME: So, not much. |
06-04-2009, 01:17 PM | #80 (permalink) |
She's Actual Size
Location: Central Republic of Where-in-the-Hell
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Going to San Antonio with someone who keeps asking if you remember the Alamo.
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"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world." "Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" |
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funny, things |
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