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Old 04-05-2009, 06:36 AM   #41 (permalink)
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Any line repeated more than 10 times on Saturday Night Live.
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Old 04-09-2009, 10:17 AM   #42 (permalink)
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How bout just Saturday Night Live, and be done with it
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Old 04-09-2009, 10:28 AM   #43 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iliftrocks View Post
How bout just Saturday Night Live, and be done with it
Agreed that they have had a lot of stinkers, but I laughed until I cried at a couple of Andy Sandberg's skits, like so:


C'mon. Tell me you didn't laugh at that?
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Old 04-09-2009, 01:30 PM   #44 (permalink)
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Location: Kramerica
The Blue Collar Comedy Tour

After seeing food: "It looks good enough to eat!"

Spamming sound effects through your microphone in a game of Team Fortress 2.
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Old 04-09-2009, 01:33 PM   #45 (permalink)
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When someone has a birthday on April 1st and someone says "Were you born as a joke."
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Old 04-09-2009, 01:43 PM   #46 (permalink)
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lostgirl View Post
When someone has a birthday on April 1st and someone says "Were you born as a joke."
This one can only be funny if you say it on the day the person is diagnosed with cancer.
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Old 04-09-2009, 02:14 PM   #47 (permalink)
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Fart jokes in movies you've paid $10+ to see.
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Old 04-09-2009, 04:17 PM   #48 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by braisler View Post
Agreed that they have had a lot of stinkers, but I laughed until I cried at a couple of Andy Sandberg's skits, like so:

YouTube - Jizz In My Pants

C'mon. Tell me you didn't laugh at that?
I won't even bother with SNL anymore because it's become so not funny for me ..

but uh, after 8 times, that jizz in my pants is still damn funny
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Old 04-09-2009, 04:23 PM   #49 (permalink)
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I find the "Jizz In My Pants" video hilarious because TheJazz said it was totally like me.

And it's true. What could be funnier than the truth?!
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Old 04-09-2009, 04:27 PM   #50 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crompsin View Post
I find the "Jizz In My Pants" video hilarious because TheJazz said it was totally like me.

And it's true. What could be funnier than the truth?!
so, what you're telling us is that you jizz in your pants when you open the window?
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Old 04-09-2009, 04:57 PM   #51 (permalink)
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Location: the center of the multiverse
Talking food on TV commercials, terrified of being eaten by humans, e.g. the green and the red M&M's. I find talking food totally not funny.



Because, really, if a food was intelligent enough to talk, it would be totally wrong to eat it. (My kids, however, have found talking food, hilarious.)

Last edited by Cynosure; 04-09-2009 at 04:59 PM..
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Old 04-09-2009, 05:50 PM   #52 (permalink)
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I'm really sorry to say this but...


Geek/Fanboy humor...
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Old 04-09-2009, 05:51 PM   #53 (permalink)
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CSPAN. CSPAN is never funny. It's sad.
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Old 04-11-2009, 05:33 PM   #54 (permalink)
zomgomgomgomgomgomg
 
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Location: Fauxenix, Azerona
Commenting on traffic when you have walked a short distance to somewhere/someone's house
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Old 04-11-2009, 06:03 PM   #55 (permalink)
...is a comical chap
 
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Location: Where morons reign supreme
Anything with "izzle" added to the end of it. I hate that.
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Old 04-12-2009, 11:21 PM   #56 (permalink)
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Location: Seattle, WA
Carlos Mencia. Forever and ever, amen.
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Old 04-13-2009, 08:49 AM   #57 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by braisler View Post
Agreed that they have had a lot of stinkers, but I laughed until I cried at a couple of Andy Sandberg's skits, like so:

YouTube - Jizz In My Pants

C'mon. Tell me you didn't laugh at that?
I DID indeed laugh at that. That's one for SNL
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Old 04-13-2009, 09:25 AM   #58 (permalink)
Submit to me, you know you want to
 
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Location: Lilburn, Ga
Quote:
Originally Posted by ring View Post
cLaiMeD By CaNaDa
+1 on this one

and anything that ever came out of Larry the Cable Slobs mouth
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Old 04-13-2009, 09:27 AM   #59 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by filtherton View Post
"That's what she said"
.
Sorry, but that one's not old yet. We still have lots of fun with it.
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Old 04-13-2009, 12:25 PM   #60 (permalink)
 
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Location: ❤
Kathy Griffin.
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Old 04-13-2009, 12:28 PM   #61 (permalink)
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Location: Edge of the deep green sea
racist jokes
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Old 04-13-2009, 03:46 PM   #62 (permalink)
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White people whenever they claim they've got it bad.
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Old 04-13-2009, 09:27 PM   #63 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by filtherton View Post
"That's what she said"

Holy fuck. I don't know if M.E. students are special in this regard, but I have heard that phrase more in my three years in M.E. school then I did in high school and junior high school combined.
better yet...


"thats what your mom said"
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Old 04-14-2009, 04:15 AM   #64 (permalink)
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Breaking up with someone via Facebook.

Unless the victim isn't you and then it's hilarious.
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Old 04-14-2009, 10:17 AM   #65 (permalink)
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Here are a few I get for being tall:

How's the air up there?
We all look up to you
The basketball coach must have loved you

The last one isn't something people say, but little kids love to walk between my legs. It happens everywhere!
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Old 04-14-2009, 07:39 PM   #66 (permalink)
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Dane Cook, that Mencia fucktard, the Blue Comedy guys, all the roasts.
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Old 04-14-2009, 07:48 PM   #67 (permalink)
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Victoria's Secret and the juvenile-looking happy-fun-time clothing they're putting out these days.

The Anti-Boner. The kind of stuff only Chris Hansen victims dig.
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Old 04-14-2009, 07:52 PM   #68 (permalink)
WHEEEE! Whee! Whee! WHEEEE!
 
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Stickin' it in her butt on accident.

You want to laugh, but DON'T YOU DARE
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Old 04-18-2009, 12:14 PM   #69 (permalink)
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Location: Seattle, WA
Quote:
Originally Posted by lostgirl View Post
racist jokes
Bigot.
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Old 04-18-2009, 04:47 PM   #70 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FuglyStick View Post
Stickin' it in her butt on accident.

You want to laugh, but DON'T YOU DARE
Agreed, it's not funny ... but why so apealing???

>>NSFW | LINK | NSFW<<
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Old 04-18-2009, 06:05 PM   #71 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FuglyStick View Post
Stickin' it in her butt on accident.

You want to laugh, but DON'T YOU DARE
...and it isn't funny that people joke about that.
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Old 04-18-2009, 07:09 PM   #72 (permalink)
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Location: Denver City Denver
Crompsin.
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Old 04-18-2009, 08:02 PM   #73 (permalink)
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That last one is supposed to go in the thread: "People That Are Not A Genius"
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Old 06-03-2009, 03:18 PM   #74 (permalink)
part of the problem
 
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Location: hic et ubique
"Im not dead yet!" and "we are the knights that say nee!" said in crappy high pitched British accents. its funny when python says it. it's not funny when you say it.
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Old 06-03-2009, 09:12 PM   #75 (permalink)
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Hemorrhoids, a sinus infection, or an abcessed tooth. Don't forget disco. OK disco is funny. Real funny.
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Old 06-03-2009, 10:29 PM   #76 (permalink)
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Location: Eastcoast USA
2007 - Chinese Year of The Chicken - Bird Flu Pandemic devastates parts of Asia.

2008 - Chinese Year of the Horse - Equine Flu decimates Australian Horse Racing.

2009 - Chinese Year of the Pig - Swine Flu Pandemic kills thousands of pigs and infects thousands of people, sometimes fatally around the world.

1010 - Chinese year of the cock - now what could possibly go wrong? ... ...Uh Oh ! ! !
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Old 06-04-2009, 12:37 PM   #77 (permalink)
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Location: My head.
Shell, that was funny!!
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Old 06-04-2009, 12:57 PM   #78 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crompsin View Post
White people whenever they claim they've got it bad.
Got what bad?
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Old 06-04-2009, 01:06 PM   #79 (permalink)
change is hard.
 
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Location: the green room.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Poppinjay View Post
Puns. All of them.
No way sir. I'm a dialogue man and there is nothing better then a terrific play on words; especially when it's dismissed in the dialogue (ie: not set up with a rim-shot, just stated plainly). Super effective.

I'll add:

- Any thing that has to do with rednecks
- Newfie Jokes
- Jay Leno

I will say, knowing I'll get burned in the process, I don't think there is anything that comedy "can't touch". I know a lot of people see it as dismissive but I just see it as a venue for thought. It's kind of my nature to not adhere I guess; I don't really get "offended" or "sad" when something incendiary happens in the world.

I don't think that makes me a monster.
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Old 06-04-2009, 01:17 PM   #80 (permalink)
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Location: Central Republic of Where-in-the-Hell
Going to San Antonio with someone who keeps asking if you remember the Alamo.
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