Random funny I thought I'd share - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Kahn · 04-01-2009, 04:49 PM

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity:

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice!

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Marijuana and/or Sexual Favors".

6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

9. Sing Along At The Opera.

10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache..

11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.

Jetée · 04-01-2009, 04:55 PM

Eight gave me a good chuckle. Redundancy is quite humourous for me today.

DiffEng · 04-01-2009, 06:42 PM

I think this is older than the internet, but it still makes me chuckle.

carrot glace · 04-01-2009, 10:43 PM

i thought the first one was a good one to try for myself

Kahn · 04-09-2009, 04:23 PM

I dunno ....

#3 seems like the perfect response to the question "why don't you go fuck yourself?"

---------- Post added at 07:23 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:19 PM ----------

also ....

seeing the purely imcomparable hatred in the eyes of your server when he/she comes back from the kitchen to inform you "there's no such thing as frikkin diet water, asshole"

yeah, it's things like that I truly enjoy

cookmo · 04-10-2009, 11:56 AM

#13 reminded me of a plaque that hung on my kitchen wall while growing up- Due to budgetary constraints the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off.

04-01-2009, 04:49 PM	#1 (permalink)
Kahn Psycho Location: Physically in Houston, TX - Mentally Lost in Time	Random funny I thought I'd share To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity: 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice! 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Marijuana and/or Sexual Favors". 6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get. 7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'. 9. Sing Along At The Opera. 10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.. 11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!' 12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!' 13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.' And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity 14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WERE THE FITTING ROOM IS. __________________ Attention everyone: We have another potential asshole in the area ! You don't have bad luck, the reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass !! Dinner $50 Drinks $30 Motel $40 Finding out she swallows - PRICELESS!!!

04-01-2009, 04:55 PM	#2 (permalink)
Jetée The Reforms Location: Rarely, if ever, here or there, but always in transition	Eight gave me a good chuckle. Redundancy is quite humourous for me today. __________________ As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves. —Mohandas K. Gandhi

04-01-2009, 06:42 PM	#3 (permalink)
DiffEng Tilted Location: Canada Eh!	I think this is older than the internet, but it still makes me chuckle. __________________ Plan for today: 1. Contemplate end of world 2. Build fort out of sofa

04-01-2009, 10:43 PM	#4 (permalink)
carrot glace Crazy Location: orange county	i thought the first one was a good one to try for myself __________________ "blaine is a pain and that is the truth"

04-09-2009, 04:23 PM	#5 (permalink)
Kahn Psycho Location: Physically in Houston, TX - Mentally Lost in Time	I dunno .... #3 seems like the perfect response to the question "why don't you go fuck yourself?" ---------- Post added at 07:23 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:19 PM ---------- also .... seeing the purely imcomparable hatred in the eyes of your server when he/she comes back from the kitchen to inform you "there's no such thing as frikkin diet water, asshole" yeah, it's things like that I truly enjoy __________________ Attention everyone: We have another potential asshole in the area ! You don't have bad luck, the reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass !! Dinner $50 Drinks $30 Motel $40 Finding out she swallows - PRICELESS!!!

04-10-2009, 11:56 AM	#6 (permalink)
cookmo Insane Location: Ohio	#13 reminded me of a plaque that hung on my kitchen wall while growing up- Due to budgetary constraints the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off.