Half right
 

Dave and Tom are walking home from work when Tom sees two dogs fucking on his neighbor's lawn.

"Damn, I'd sure like to have my wife like that!" he says.

"Get her drunk," suggests Dave, "Two six-packs ought to do it."

The next day, the two are walking home from work, and Dave asks how things went.

"Well Dave, you were only half right."

"Half right?" asks Dave.

"Yep. Two six-packs was enough to get her to take it from behind, but I had to give her near an entire fifth of gin before she'd come out on the neighbor's lawn!"

Two Polish guys are walking down the street sharing insights. The smarter of the two sees a dog lying down and licking his balls. The less intelligent of the two says to his friend, "Don't you wish you could do that?"

The second guy replies, "Don't you think he would bite me?"

(i just copied and pasted. first time ive heard it with two polish guys)