Tully Mars

Here's an oldie, hope it not on here elsewhere...

Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian 's mother couldn't help but notice how beautiful Brian 's 'roommate', Jennifer was. Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and Jennifer, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Jennifer than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, 'I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Jennifer and I are just roommates.'
About a week later, Jennifer came to Brian saying, 'Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?'
Brian said, 'Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure. So he sat down and wrote:
___________________________________
Dear Mom ,
I'm not saying that you 'did' take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the
Gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Brian
___________________________________
Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that read:
___________________________________
Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Jennifer, I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Jennifer . But the fact remains that if Jennifer is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.
Love,
Mom

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I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo

Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

uncle phil

hehe...

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

slick50

Great, thanks

cyklone

A great oldie, but the first time I heard it, it wasn't Brian and Jennifer, but Brian and John.

Plan9

Smooth.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

genuinegirly

Hehehe. I like this one!

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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

Ilow

lol, that's hilarious. i love the unexpected ones

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"Religion is the one area of our discourse in which it is considered noble to pretend to be certain about things no human being could possibly be certain about"
--Sam Harris

Iliftrocks

Way to go Mom!!!!!

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bill hicks - "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out."