Sorority Girls - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

warrrreagl · 04-21-2003, 12:39 PM

I kept this one shorter than the Mommy Mommy...

1. Q: What do you say to a sorority girl that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

2. Q: Why does a sorority girl wear underwear?
A: To keep her ankles warm.

3. Q: What's the difference between a sorority girl and a Rolls Royce?
A: Not everybody has been in a Rolls Royce.

4. Q: What's the difference between a sorority girl and a toilet?
A: A toilet doesn't follow you around after you use it.

5. Q: What does a sorority girl put behind her ears to make her look more attractive?
A: Her ankles.

6. Q: What's the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
A1: You can only put three fingers in a bowling ball.
A2: You could eat a bowling ball if you had to.
A3: You can't fit a sorority girl inside a bowling ball.
A4: There is no difference. They're both round and have three holes to poke.

7. Q: How are a bowling ball and a sorority girl alike?
A: You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them
in the gutter and they'll always come back.

8. Q: What is the difference between a sorority girls and hookers?
A: Sorority girls cost less per score.

9. Q: What is the difference between a sorority girl and an elephant?
A: About 40 pounds.
Q2: How do you equalize the two?
A2: Feed the elephant.

10. Q: What is the first thing a sorority girl does in the morning?
A1: Introduces herself.
A2: Walks home.

11. Q: What's the difference between a sorority girl and the Titanic?
A: Only 1500 went down on the Titanic.

12. Q: How can you tell if a sorority girl has achieved orgasm?
A: She drops her nail file.

13. Q: What's a sorority girls favorite wine?
A: "Daaaaaaady, I want to go to Mi-ammmmmmi."

14. Q: What do you get when you cross a sorority girl with an ape?
A: Don't know. There's only so much an ape can be forced to do.

15. Q: Why is a sorority girl like a door knob?
A: 'Cause everybody gets a turn.

16. Q: How do you get a sorority girl in your bed?
A: Grease her hips so she'll fit through the door, and throw a
Twinkie on the bed.

17. Q: Did you hear about the new sorority girl doll?
A: You put a ring on her finger and her hips expand.

18. Q: What's the difference between sorority girls and garbage?
A: Garbage gets taken out once a week.

19. Q: What do you call a 100 sorority girls bathing on a beach in Cuba?
A: Bay of Pigs.

20. Q: What do you call a sorority girl hang-gliding festival?
A: Multiple total eclipses.

21. Q: What is a sorority girls mating call?
A: "I'm sooooooo drunk, I'm sooooooo drunk."

22. Q: What's the difference between a sorority girl and a dog?
A: Driver's will swerve to miss the dog.

23. Q: How many sorority girls does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: 1, she holds on to it, and the world revolves around her.
A2: 2, one to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call Daddy.
A3: 6, one to screw it in, and five to make T-shirts.
A4: 7, one to change it, and six to go out and buy more Diet Pepsi.
A5: 65, one to change it, and 64 to sing and clap.

24. Q: Why is a sorority girl like railroad tracks?
A: 'Cause she's been laid all over the country.

25. Q: What three words will a sorority girl never hear?
A: "Attention K-mart shoppers."

26. Q: Why does a sorority girl close her eyes during sex?
A: So she can fantasize about shopping.

27. Q: What is a sorority girls favorite position?
A: Facing Bloomingdale's.

28. Q: What's the difference between sorority girls and Jell-o?
A: Jell-o wiggles when you eat it.

29. Q: What do you call a sorority girl's waterbed?
A1: Lake Placid.
A2: The Dead Sea.

30. Q: How do you know when a sorority girl is a nymphomaniac?
A: She'll make love the same day she had her hair done.

31. Q: What's a sorority girl's idea of natural childbirth?
A: No make-up.

32. Q: How do you prevent a sorority girl from having sex?
A: Marry her.

33. Q: What's the difference between a sorority girl and a broom closet?
A: Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once.

34. Q: What's the difference between a sorority girl and a phone booth?
A1: You need a quarter to use the phone.
A2: Only one person can use the phone at once.

35. Q: What's the difference between a sorority and a circus?
A: A circus is a cunning array of stunts.

36. Q: How is a sorority girl like a vacuum?
A: They both suck.
Q2: How are they different?
A1: You can buy a new vacuum when you get sick of it.
A2: You can buy a new vacuum when it no longer sucks.
A3: When a vacuum cleaner is full of shit, it's easy to dump the old bag.
A4: A vacuum cleaner can't suck a golf ball through a garden hose.
A5: A vacuum cleaner can't suck start a Harley.

37. Q: How do you get four sorority girls on one chair?
A1: Tell them there is a rich guy sitting in it.
A2: Turn the chair over, and put one on each leg.

38. Q: What's the difference between a sorority track team and a tribe of sly pygmies?
A: The tribe of sly pygmies are a bunch of cunning runts.

39. Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and sorority girls have in common?
A: They've both swallowed a lot of semen.

40. Q: What does a sorority girl make for dinner?
A: Reservations.

41. Q: Why does a sorority girl wear a gold diaphragm?
A: So her boyfriend will think he's coming into money.

42. Q: What did the sorority girl say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase?
A: "It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt."

43. Q: What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a sorority girl?
A: A prostitute says, "Are you done yet?", a nymphomaniac says, "You're done already?", and a sorority girl says, "Beige... I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."

44. Q: What's the difference between a sorority girl and a rooster?
A: In the morning a rooster says, "Cock'll-doodl-doooo", while a sorority girl says, "Any-cock'll-doooo."

45. Q: What do you call 24 sorority girls walking down the street?
A: A case of Schlitz.

46. Q: What is foreplay for a sorority girl?
A: Thirty minutes of begging.

47. Q: How does a sorority girl commit suicide?
A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.

ShadowWraith · 04-21-2003, 01:34 PM

haha, thats great. not all sorority girls are fat and ugly though.

ratbastid · 04-21-2003, 02:46 PM

But they <i>are</i> all sluts, right ShadowWraith?

ShadowWraith · 04-21-2003, 04:31 PM

haha, not denying that ;p

DEI37 · 04-21-2003, 04:51 PM

Now that is some funny stuff.

RenegadeSoul · 04-21-2003, 05:07 PM

indeed. Good List there

teflonian · 04-21-2003, 06:08 PM

ouch... harsh...

pazza · 04-21-2003, 09:12 PM

ahah those are funny

florentina1614 · 04-21-2003, 09:24 PM

VERY, VERY funny, although i have seen a few of those used as blonde/mama jokes. Funny nonetheless

oxymorphone · 04-21-2003, 10:02 PM

funny...
The bowling ball one seems to ring particularly true.

Pheatius · 04-22-2003, 09:54 AM

Cruel, sexist, tasteless, old....and very funny...

opentocomments · 04-23-2003, 01:15 PM

that was mean any pussy is a good pussy unless u are not allowed to use it then its bad

Hycdubg · 04-23-2003, 01:23 PM

HAHAHAHA!! All great! You could substitute blonde in most of these and get the same effect. Great post!

Ronin_Tiger · 04-23-2003, 04:30 PM

Still a bit long but it was good

oldtimer · 04-23-2003, 04:37 PM

It's funny because it's the truth!

jcookc6 · 04-23-2003, 05:49 PM

heard this one years ago, but it was for Jewish girls

nico · 04-23-2003, 06:12 PM

Haha, those were good

soccerstudpc20 · 04-24-2003, 02:17 AM

lol, so so so true, i see them everyday. Except the majority are hot. Hot, but still fit these criteria.

ViL · 04-24-2003, 10:01 AM

I love sorority girls. So many sluts so little time.

maniac · 04-24-2003, 10:26 AM

how is a sorority girl and a moped alike?

both fun to ride until your friends find out!

duckduck · 04-24-2003, 08:33 PM

Funny, but some of those are just mean.

forgotten_dream · 04-25-2003, 01:43 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by warrrreagl
35. Q: What's the difference between a sorority and a circus?
A: A circus is a cunning array of stunts.

I don't get i.... Oooohh.... Heh. Funny stuff.

Soda_BoB · 08-03-2003, 02:12 AM

Hahahahah very goood!!

Sluggin · 08-03-2003, 07:27 AM

Those are pretty tight, I've heard a lot of em though. Good post!

Katyblu · 08-03-2003, 08:14 AM

Whats the difference between a sorority girl and a porsche?

Guys don't lend their porsche's out to their friends.....

Great list!

TSFM · 08-03-2003, 09:06 AM

Awesome post warrrreagl!!! May I ask, with a screen name like that, are/were you a student at Auburn?

PayUp · 08-03-2003, 11:10 AM

good stuff.

sorority girls are like door knobs...everyone gets a turn.
...girls mouths are like chicken coups, they have cock fights every friday night

Slims · 08-03-2003, 06:36 PM

Good jokes, thanks.

snoop · 08-03-2003, 07:28 PM

Like it . .

isolder · 08-03-2003, 07:45 PM

To keep her ankles warm is the best.

pkeigs · 08-03-2003, 10:04 PM

yeah the ankles warm one is my favorite. very good list thanks

The_Dude · 08-03-2003, 10:41 PM

Quote:

15. Q: Why is a sorority girl like a door knob?
A: 'Cause everybody gets a turn.

24. Q: Why is a sorority girl like railroad tracks?
A: 'Cause she's been laid all over the country.

33. Q: What's the difference between a sorority girl and a broom closet?
A: Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once.

39. Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and sorority girls have in common?
A: They've both swallowed a lot of semen.

44. Q: What's the difference between a sorority girl and a rooster?
A: In the morning a rooster says, "Cock'll-doodl-doooo", while a sorority girl says, "Any-cock'll-doooo."

my fav's.

gave me a great laugh

acpower · 08-04-2003, 01:42 AM

hahahahahahaha those are great

tfpfreak · 08-04-2003, 06:05 AM

funny thanks

striderkevin · 08-05-2003, 01:36 AM

Cool, thanks

aarchaon · 03-18-2004, 05:16 AM

These are just rebadges blonde jokes. Still funny though. Especially the bowling ball ones. LMAO

WarriorBuddha · 10-28-2004, 06:30 AM

I've heard a few of those as blonde jokes, but more of them only work for sorority girls. good one. thanks

04-21-2003, 12:39 PM	#1 (permalink)
warrrreagl pinche vato Location: backwater, Third World, land of cotton	Sorority Girls I kept this one shorter than the Mommy Mommy... 1. Q: What do you say to a sorority girl that won't give in? A: "Have another beer." 2. Q: Why does a sorority girl wear underwear? A: To keep her ankles warm. 3. Q: What's the difference between a sorority girl and a Rolls Royce? A: Not everybody has been in a Rolls Royce. 4. Q: What's the difference between a sorority girl and a toilet? A: A toilet doesn't follow you around after you use it. 5. Q: What does a sorority girl put behind her ears to make her look more attractive? A: Her ankles. 6. Q: What's the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball? A1: You can only put three fingers in a bowling ball. A2: You could eat a bowling ball if you had to. A3: You can't fit a sorority girl inside a bowling ball. A4: There is no difference. They're both round and have three holes to poke. 7. Q: How are a bowling ball and a sorority girl alike? A: You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them in the gutter and they'll always come back. 8. Q: What is the difference between a sorority girls and hookers? A: Sorority girls cost less per score. 9. Q: What is the difference between a sorority girl and an elephant? A: About 40 pounds. Q2: How do you equalize the two? A2: Feed the elephant. 10. Q: What is the first thing a sorority girl does in the morning? A1: Introduces herself. A2: Walks home. 11. Q: What's the difference between a sorority girl and the Titanic? A: Only 1500 went down on the Titanic. 12. Q: How can you tell if a sorority girl has achieved orgasm? A: She drops her nail file. 13. Q: What's a sorority girls favorite wine? A: "Daaaaaaady, I want to go to Mi-ammmmmmi." 14. Q: What do you get when you cross a sorority girl with an ape? A: Don't know. There's only so much an ape can be forced to do. 15. Q: Why is a sorority girl like a door knob? A: 'Cause everybody gets a turn. 16. Q: How do you get a sorority girl in your bed? A: Grease her hips so she'll fit through the door, and throw a Twinkie on the bed. 17. Q: Did you hear about the new sorority girl doll? A: You put a ring on her finger and her hips expand. 18. Q: What's the difference between sorority girls and garbage? A: Garbage gets taken out once a week. 19. Q: What do you call a 100 sorority girls bathing on a beach in Cuba? A: Bay of Pigs. 20. Q: What do you call a sorority girl hang-gliding festival? A: Multiple total eclipses. 21. Q: What is a sorority girls mating call? A: "I'm sooooooo drunk, I'm sooooooo drunk." 22. Q: What's the difference between a sorority girl and a dog? A: Driver's will swerve to miss the dog. 23. Q: How many sorority girls does it take to change a light bulb? A1: 1, she holds on to it, and the world revolves around her. A2: 2, one to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call Daddy. A3: 6, one to screw it in, and five to make T-shirts. A4: 7, one to change it, and six to go out and buy more Diet Pepsi. A5: 65, one to change it, and 64 to sing and clap. 24. Q: Why is a sorority girl like railroad tracks? A: 'Cause she's been laid all over the country. 25. Q: What three words will a sorority girl never hear? A: "Attention K-mart shoppers." 26. Q: Why does a sorority girl close her eyes during sex? A: So she can fantasize about shopping. 27. Q: What is a sorority girls favorite position? A: Facing Bloomingdale's. 28. Q: What's the difference between sorority girls and Jell-o? A: Jell-o wiggles when you eat it. 29. Q: What do you call a sorority girl's waterbed? A1: Lake Placid. A2: The Dead Sea. 30. Q: How do you know when a sorority girl is a nymphomaniac? A: She'll make love the same day she had her hair done. 31. Q: What's a sorority girl's idea of natural childbirth? A: No make-up. 32. Q: How do you prevent a sorority girl from having sex? A: Marry her. 33. Q: What's the difference between a sorority girl and a broom closet? A: Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once. 34. Q: What's the difference between a sorority girl and a phone booth? A1: You need a quarter to use the phone. A2: Only one person can use the phone at once. 35. Q: What's the difference between a sorority and a circus? A: A circus is a cunning array of stunts. 36. Q: How is a sorority girl like a vacuum? A: They both suck. Q2: How are they different? A1: You can buy a new vacuum when you get sick of it. A2: You can buy a new vacuum when it no longer sucks. A3: When a vacuum cleaner is full of shit, it's easy to dump the old bag. A4: A vacuum cleaner can't suck a golf ball through a garden hose. A5: A vacuum cleaner can't suck start a Harley. 37. Q: How do you get four sorority girls on one chair? A1: Tell them there is a rich guy sitting in it. A2: Turn the chair over, and put one on each leg. 38. Q: What's the difference between a sorority track team and a tribe of sly pygmies? A: The tribe of sly pygmies are a bunch of cunning runts. 39. Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and sorority girls have in common? A: They've both swallowed a lot of semen. 40. Q: What does a sorority girl make for dinner? A: Reservations. 41. Q: Why does a sorority girl wear a gold diaphragm? A: So her boyfriend will think he's coming into money. 42. Q: What did the sorority girl say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase? A: "It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt." 43. Q: What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a sorority girl? A: A prostitute says, "Are you done yet?", a nymphomaniac says, "You're done already?", and a sorority girl says, "Beige... I think I'll paint the ceiling beige." 44. Q: What's the difference between a sorority girl and a rooster? A: In the morning a rooster says, "Cock'll-doodl-doooo", while a sorority girl says, "Any-cock'll-doooo." 45. Q: What do you call 24 sorority girls walking down the street? A: A case of Schlitz. 46. Q: What is foreplay for a sorority girl? A: Thirty minutes of begging. 47. Q: How does a sorority girl commit suicide? A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off. __________________ Living is easy with eyes closed.

04-21-2003, 09:12 PM	#8 (permalink)
pazza Insane Location: Australia	ahah those are funny __________________ The above thoughts are not necessarily the thoughts of this user.

04-23-2003, 01:15 PM	#12 (permalink)
opentocomments Psycho Location: St. Louis	that was mean any pussy is a good pussy unless u are not allowed to use it then its bad __________________ How do we know that the sky is not green and we are all color-blind?

04-23-2003, 01:23 PM	#13 (permalink)
Hycdubg Insane Location: Up my ass	HAHAHAHA!! All great! You could substitute blonde in most of these and get the same effect. Great post! __________________ Alice, that dog has been licking his own asshole for three hours. I would venture to say that there is nothing there that requires more than an hour's attention. So I would suggest that whatever he's attempting to dislodge is either gone for good....or there to stay. -The Long Kiss Goodnight_

04-23-2003, 04:30 PM	#14 (permalink)
Ronin_Tiger Crazy Location: Cairo, Egypt	Still a bit long but it was good __________________ Assumptions make an ass out of you and mptions....

04-21-2003, 01:34 PM	#2 (permalink)
ShadowWraith Crazy	haha, thats great. not all sorority girls are fat and ugly though.

04-21-2003, 02:46 PM	#3 (permalink)
ratbastid Darth Papa Location: Yonder	But they <i>are</i> all sluts, right ShadowWraith?

04-21-2003, 04:31 PM	#4 (permalink)
ShadowWraith Crazy	haha, not denying that ;p

04-21-2003, 04:51 PM	#5 (permalink)
DEI37 Go faster! Location: Wisconsin	Now that is some funny stuff.

04-21-2003, 05:07 PM	#6 (permalink)
RenegadeSoul Banned Location: British Columbia	indeed. Good List there

04-21-2003, 06:08 PM	#7 (permalink)
teflonian Appreciative Location: Paradise	ouch... harsh...

04-21-2003, 09:24 PM	#9 (permalink)
florentina1614 Upright	VERY, VERY funny, although i have seen a few of those used as blonde/mama jokes. Funny nonetheless

04-21-2003, 10:02 PM	#10 (permalink)
oxymorphone Upright Location: under a rock	funny... The bowling ball one seems to ring particularly true.

04-22-2003, 09:54 AM	#11 (permalink)
Pheatius Insane Location: The South	Cruel, sexist, tasteless, old....and very funny...

04-23-2003, 04:37 PM	#15 (permalink)
oldtimer Addict	It's funny because it's the truth! __________________ Slowly but surely getting over the loss of TFP v. 3.0. Where the hell am I?.... Showering once a month does not make you a better person. "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." Martin Luther King, Jr.

08-03-2003, 02:12 AM	#23 (permalink)
Soda_BoB Psycho	Hahahahah very goood!! __________________ Just because you paranoid.don't mean they're not after you...- Kurt Cobain-Chopper Read Project Dolphin: Join the TFP Typing Team!

08-03-2003, 06:36 PM	#28 (permalink)
Slims Eccentric insomniac Location: North Carolina	Good jokes, thanks. __________________ "Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill "All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence

08-03-2003, 07:28 PM	#29 (permalink)
snoop Insane	Like it . . __________________ ------------------------------------------------ Insert Witty Slogan Here . . . . .

04-23-2003, 05:49 PM	#16 (permalink)
jcookc6 Psycho Location: Venice, Florida	heard this one years ago, but it was for Jewish girls

04-23-2003, 06:12 PM	#17 (permalink)
nico Tilted	Haha, those were good

04-24-2003, 02:17 AM	#18 (permalink)
soccerstudpc20 Insane	lol, so so so true, i see them everyday. Except the majority are hot. Hot, but still fit these criteria.

04-24-2003, 10:01 AM	#19 (permalink)
ViL Upright Location: Louisville, KY	I love sorority girls. So many sluts so little time. __________________ Juckah

04-24-2003, 10:26 AM	#20 (permalink)
maniac Upright	how is a sorority girl and a moped alike? both fun to ride until your friends find out! __________________ MMMmmmmmwwwaaa-hahahahahahahah (maniacal laughter)

04-24-2003, 08:33 PM	#21 (permalink)
duckduck Psycho Location: Where hockey pucks run rampant	Funny, but some of those are just mean. __________________ Lead me, follow me, or get out of my way!

08-03-2003, 07:27 AM	#24 (permalink)
Sluggin Upright	Those are pretty tight, I've heard a lot of em though. Good post!

08-03-2003, 08:14 AM	#25 (permalink)
Katyblu Crazy Location: Here and there and everywhere	Whats the difference between a sorority girl and a porsche? Guys don't lend their porsche's out to their friends..... Great list!

08-03-2003, 09:06 AM	#26 (permalink)
TSFM Upright Location: Troy University	Awesome post warrrreagl!!! May I ask, with a screen name like that, are/were you a student at Auburn? __________________ Kappa Kappa Psi Spr. '04: Eight Harmonic Minors #2, "Punchline"

08-03-2003, 11:10 AM	#27 (permalink)
PayUp DILLIGAF Location: AZ	good stuff. sorority girls are like door knobs...everyone gets a turn. ...girls mouths are like chicken coups, they have cock fights every friday night __________________ Born to Lose.

08-03-2003, 07:45 PM	#30 (permalink)
isolder Upright Location: A fuzzy cloud.	To keep her ankles warm is the best. __________________ the dangerous type

08-03-2003, 10:04 PM	#31 (permalink)
pkeigs Tilted	yeah the ankles warm one is my favorite. very good list thanks

08-04-2003, 01:42 AM	#33 (permalink)
acpower Crazy	hahahahahahaha those are great

08-04-2003, 06:05 AM	#34 (permalink)
tfpfreak Crazy Location: MS	funny thanks __________________ Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be. ~ Clementine Paddleford

08-05-2003, 01:36 AM	#35 (permalink)
striderkevin Crazy Location: Can't tell you, then I'd have to kill you.	Cool, thanks __________________ "A false life is equal to death. Be your true self" -Strider Hiryu

03-18-2004, 05:16 AM	#36 (permalink)
aarchaon Insane	These are just rebadges blonde jokes. Still funny though. Especially the bowling ball ones. LMAO __________________ Green. Yellow. Blue.

10-28-2004, 06:30 AM	#37 (permalink)
WarriorBuddha Crazy Location: Japan	I've heard a few of those as blonde jokes, but more of them only work for sorority girls. good one. thanks __________________ Thockmorton knew if he were ever to break wind in the echo chamber, he would never hear the end of it.