LoganSnake

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.

When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on any thing. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find girl with some real ambition.

When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

I am older and wiser now, and am looking for a girl with big tits.

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Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

reverendjay

My father told me to look out for many of the same things in women.

A woman that doesn't drink is no fun, but you don't want one that will drink your last beer.
A woman that hates sports is no fun, but you don't want one that will root against your favorite football team.
A woman that doesn't want to have sex is just bad, but you don't want the horny one that winds up in bed with your friend(s).

Love, much like juggling chainsaws on a tightrope, requires balance. (and could result in bodily harm unto death if done wrong)

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I'm married now, so the only thing in my house that pulls out now is the couch.

Ilow

that is sadly kind of funny and true. the grass often seems greener on the other side of the fence.

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"Religion is the one area of our discourse in which it is considered noble to pretend to be certain about things no human being could possibly be certain about"
--Sam Harris

Godzilla

Wait a minute... Are you telling me there's another side to this !@#$%^&* fence!?

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Coming out of an ocean near you...

troit

A perfect illustration of the saying "Youth is wasted on the Young".

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I've yet to dephile myself...

Jozrael

Btw I famed your last sentence, reverend.

SSJTWIZTA

got a chuckle out of me.

doesn't it suck being a bastard of young?

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First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller