Passport Letter - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

uncle phil · 06-10-2008, 12:33 PM

Dear Sir:

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a t.v. cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date? For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my social security card, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance card, my driver's license, on the last eight goddamn passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done at election time.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is
Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that
ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!

SHIT!

I apologize, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask
me for my fuckin' address. What is going on? You have a gang of Neanderthal
assholes workin' there! Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I
don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park
my ass on a sandy beach. And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city and get another fuckin' copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the fuckin' place like chickens with our heads cut off, than find some asshole to confirm that it's really me on the goddamn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (fuckin' morons) Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally pissed off!

Signed -

An Irate Citizen.

P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to
confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 . I
have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had security clearances up the yingyang. However, I have to get someone
'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN COMMUNIST CHINA!

sincerely,

You Sure In The Hell Should Know Who.

xepherys · 06-10-2008, 07:11 PM

LOL, funny (and sad) because it's true...

Ilow · 06-10-2008, 07:50 PM

yeah this unfortunately is hilarious because it's true. Thanks for sharing.

Brewmaniac · 06-11-2008, 06:17 PM

Most of the funniest things in life are real!

vancityboi · 06-14-2008, 10:40 PM

i too feel his pain. I lost all my ID and now im running all over the place to prove WHO i am..ugh

i TOTALLY see where he is coming from...

asside from that...FUNNY as hell..made me giggle a lot :P

06-10-2008, 12:33 PM	#1 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	Passport Letter Dear Sir: I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a t.v. cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date? For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my social security card, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance card, my driver's license, on the last eight goddamn passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done at election time. Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!! SHIT! I apologize, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fuckin' address. What is going on? You have a gang of Neanderthal assholes workin' there! Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach. And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone! Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city and get another fuckin' copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the fuckin' place like chickens with our heads cut off, than find some asshole to confirm that it's really me on the goddamn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (fuckin' morons) Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally pissed off! Signed - An Irate Citizen. P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 . I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had security clearances up the yingyang. However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN COMMUNIST CHINA! sincerely, You Sure In The Hell Should Know Who. __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

06-10-2008, 07:11 PM	#2 (permalink)
xepherys <3 TFP Location: 17TLH2445607250	LOL, funny (and sad) because it's true... __________________ The prospect of achieving a peace agreement with the extremist group of MILF is almost impossible... -- Emmanuel Pinol, Governor of Cotobato My Homepage

06-10-2008, 07:50 PM	#3 (permalink)
Ilow Junkie Location: Pats country	yeah this unfortunately is hilarious because it's true. Thanks for sharing. __________________ "Religion is the one area of our discourse in which it is considered noble to pretend to be certain about things no human being could possibly be certain about" --Sam Harris

06-11-2008, 06:17 PM	#4 (permalink)
Brewmaniac Searching for the perfect brew!	Most of the funniest things in life are real! __________________ "That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"

06-14-2008, 10:40 PM	#5 (permalink)
vancityboi Tilted Location: Vancouver,BC	i too feel his pain. I lost all my ID and now im running all over the place to prove WHO i am..ugh i TOTALLY see where he is coming from... asside from that...FUNNY as hell..made me giggle a lot :P __________________ I reject your reality and substitute my own -MythBusters Life is easier to measure by experience points -Watch The Guild