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06-02-2008, 01:53 PM
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#1 (permalink) |
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Tilted Cat Head
Administrator
Location: Manhattan, NY
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Blonde Mortician
the blonde is not dumb... but very smart...
------ BLONDE MORTICIAN A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. The widow feels that her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants. "I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing." The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe, that fits perfectly. She says to the mortician, "Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?" To her astonishment, the blonde mortician replies, "There's no charge." "No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!" she says. "Honestly, ma'am," the blonde says, "it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice." "So I just switched the heads."
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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. |
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06-03-2008, 04:53 PM
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#6 (permalink) |
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Minion of the scaléd ones
Location: Northeast Jesusland
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I did see that coming, but I still laughed. Does that make me a sick puppy?
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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. |
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06-04-2008, 04:57 AM
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#7 (permalink) | |
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Devoted
Donor
Location: New England
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Quote:
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I can't read your signature. Sorry. |
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06-04-2008, 08:27 AM
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#8 (permalink) | |
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Minion of the scaléd ones
Location: Northeast Jesusland
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Quote:
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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. |
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06-06-2008, 06:55 AM
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#9 (permalink) |
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<3 TFP
Location: 17TLH2445607250
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Haha, that was pretty good. Definitely wasn't the expected outcome.
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The prospect of achieving a peace agreement with the extremist group of MILF is almost impossible... -- Emmanuel Pinol, Governor of Cotobato My Homepage |
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03-18-2009, 01:49 PM
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#13 (permalink) | |
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Psycho
Location: Physically in Houston, TX - Mentally Lost in Time
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Quote:
x2 this was hilarious, thanks 
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Attention everyone: We have another potential asshole in the area ! You don't have bad luck, the reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass !! Dinner $50 Drinks $30 Motel $40 Finding out she swallows - PRICELESS!!! |
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03-18-2009, 02:45 PM
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#14 (permalink) |
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Psycho
Location: Above you
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On very rare occasions you come across a joke that you can't see the punchline coming a mile away. This is definitely one of them.
Thanx for the laugh mate!
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- "Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned.." - "Religions take everything that your DNA naturally wants to do to survive and pro-create and makes it wrong." - "There is only one absolute truth and that is that there is only one absolute truth." |
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| blonde, mortician |
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