uncle phil

Father O'Malley rose from his bed. It was a fine
spring day in his new Texas mission parish.
He walked to the window of his bedroom to get
a deep breath of the beautiful day outside.

He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead
in the middle of his front lawn.

He promptly called the local police station.

The conversation went like this:

"Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones.
How might I help you?"

"And the best of the day te yerself. This is
Father O'Malley at St. Brigid's. There's a jackass
lying dead in me front lawn. Would ye be so
kind as to send a couple o' yer lads to take
care of the matter?"

Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be
quite a wit, replied with a smirk,
"Well now father, it was always my impression
that you people took care of last rites!"

There was dead silence on the line
for a long moment.

Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye, 'tis
certainly true, but we are also obliged to
notify the next of kin."

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

troit

touche' my good man...

__________________
I've yet to dephile myself...

jewels

Cute

__________________
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain