Crazy Bitch.... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

troit · 03-06-2008, 01:17 PM

The FBI had an opening for an assasin.

After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun .
"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances.
Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair . . . Kill her!!"
The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."
The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions.
He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes.
The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."
The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions,
to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room.
Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.
After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly
and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.

"This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

xepherys · 03-06-2008, 07:46 PM

I swear this joke has been posted more times than I can count on my fingers and toes :-p

SSJTWIZTA · 03-07-2008, 02:00 PM

ouch

robot_parade · 03-07-2008, 03:13 PM

Old, but awesome.

troit · 03-09-2008, 02:56 PM

Just keeping a classic alive...

uncle phil · 03-09-2008, 03:33 PM

damn, that joke is at least 30 years old...

great one, though...

Tully Mars · 03-09-2008, 08:05 PM

Was new to me, funny.

MichaelFarker · 03-10-2008, 10:52 AM

Ok, I have read it before but every time I read it again I want to pass it on to the in-laws. Old but great.

03-06-2008, 01:17 PM	#1 (permalink)
troit Transfer Agent Location: NYC	Crazy Bitch.... The FBI had an opening for an assasin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun . "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair . . . Kill her!!" The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home." The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home." Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. "This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair." __________________ I've yet to dephile myself...

03-06-2008, 07:46 PM	#2 (permalink)
xepherys <3 TFP Location: 17TLH2445607250	I swear this joke has been posted more times than I can count on my fingers and toes :-p __________________ The prospect of achieving a peace agreement with the extremist group of MILF is almost impossible... -- Emmanuel Pinol, Governor of Cotobato My Homepage

03-07-2008, 02:00 PM	#3 (permalink)
SSJTWIZTA Master Thief. Master Criminal. Masturbator. Location: Windiwana	ouch __________________ First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew. Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist. Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me. -Pastor Martin Niemoller

03-09-2008, 02:56 PM	#5 (permalink)
troit Transfer Agent Location: NYC	Just keeping a classic alive... __________________ I've yet to dephile myself...

03-09-2008, 03:33 PM	#6 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	damn, that joke is at least 30 years old... great one, though... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

03-07-2008, 03:13 PM	#4 (permalink)
robot_parade Junkie Location: San Antonio, TX	Old, but awesome.

03-09-2008, 08:05 PM	#7 (permalink)
Tully Mars Living in a Warmer Insanity Super Moderator Location: Yucatan, Mexico	Was new to me, funny. __________________ I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

03-10-2008, 10:52 AM	#8 (permalink)
MichaelFarker 2+2=5? Not again! Location: Dallas, Texas	Ok, I have read it before but every time I read it again I want to pass it on to the in-laws. Old but great.