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Old 02-09-2008, 12:08 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Location: Willamette Valley
Little Golden Books That Never Made It

1. You Are Different and That's Bad
2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
3. Dad's New Wife Robert
4. Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book
6. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
9. All Cats Go to Hell
10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
11. Some Kittens Can Fly
12. That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption
14. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
16. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
17. Strangers Have the Best Candy
18. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
19. You Were an Accident
20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
21. Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
22. The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan
23. Your Nightmares Are Real
25. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
26. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
27. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
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Old 02-09-2008, 06:40 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I enjoyed
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Old 02-09-2008, 08:22 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Location: At my daughter's beck and call.
Niice!
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Propaganda is to a democracy what the bludgeon is to a totalitarian state.
-Noam Chomsky
Love is a verb, not a noun.
-My Mom
The function of genius is to furnish cretins with ideas twenty years later.
-Louis Aragon, "La Porte-plume," Traite du style, 1928
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Old 02-09-2008, 01:32 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I thought that "The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy" especially sounded like it has potential.
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"A ouija board just works better if you've made it yourself. It's sortof like how 'Clue' is more interesting when one of you has actually killed someone."
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Old 02-09-2008, 01:43 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Location: The Windy City
OK, now those were extremely funny!!!

Almost did a spit-take on the last one....
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Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.

(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)
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Old 02-09-2008, 01:44 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Location: The South.
I haven't laughed that hard in a while.
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Old 02-12-2008, 12:35 AM   #7 (permalink)
I have eaten the slaw
 
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From The Onion
Least-Recommended Toilet-Training Books for Children

1. Only Girls Wipe
2. The Domineering Mother And Her Obsessively Neat Son
3. Little Timmy Disappears Forever
4. The Berenstain Bears Shit In The Woods
5. No Longer Mama's Baby
6. Mermaids Are Girls Who Pushed Too Hard (And Other Stories)
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And you believe Bush and the liberals and divorced parents and gays and blacks and the Christian right and fossil fuels and Xbox are all to blame, meanwhile you yourselves create an ad where your kid hits you in the head with a baseball and you don't understand the message that the problem is you.
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Old 02-12-2008, 01:45 AM   #8 (permalink)
Tone.
 
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"Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence"

Ok. That one made my whole week.
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