Kung Fu Kid

Dec 8 - 8 pm. It started to snow. The first of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat by the window, watching the soft flakes drift down over the area. It was beautiful.

Dec 9 - We awoke to a big beautiful blanket of crystal white snow, covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight. Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful white mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time in years and loved it. I did both our driveway and our sidewalk. Later the snowplow came along and covered up our sidewalk with snow from the street, so shoveled it again.

Dec 12 - The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Oh well, I'm sure we will get some more before the lovely winter is through.

Dec 14 - It snowed 8 inches last night and the temperature dropped to 20 degrees below zero. Shoveled the driveway and the sidewalk again and the snowplow came by and did it's trick again.

Dec 15 - Sold my van and bought a 4X4 Blazer, so I can drive in the snow. Bought snow tires for the wife's car.

Dec 16 - Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway. All that hurt was my feelings.

Dec 17 - Still cold (below zero in the morning) and icy roads make for very tough driving.

Dec 20 - Had another 14 inches of the shit last night. More shoveling in store for me today. That fuckin' snowplow came by twice.

Dec 22 - We are assured of a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today and with this freezing weather, it won't melt until August. Got all dressed up to go out and shovel (boots, jumpsuit, heavy jacket, scarf, earmuffs, gloves, etc.) and then I got the uge to pee.

Dec 23 - I was going to go ice fishing today but my worms froze and I didn't want the fish to break their teeth on my bait.

Dec 24 - If I ever catch the son-of-a-bitch that drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by the balls. I think he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling.

Dec 25 - Merry Christmas! They perdict 20 more inches of the fucking white stuff tonight. Do they know how many shovels of snow 20 inches is? To hell with Santa, he doesn't have to shovel that white shit. The snowplow driver came by asking for a donation. I hit him over the head with the snow shovel.

Dec 26 - We got 28 inches and then some. I must be going snow-blind or having a severe case of cabin fever because the wife is beginning to look good to me.

Dec 27 - The toilet froze. If you go outside, don't eat the brown snow.

Dec 28 - I set fire to the house. Now that white shit won't cling to the roof!

casual user

where the hell does this guy live where it hasn't snowed in years, but suddenly it's snowing 28 inches?

i'll tell you where he lives, the day after tomorrow

liquidlight

Yeah, not the best rendition of this joke You're missing the parts about how he moved from a tropical climate, and the one I saw had a section about the neighbor shoveling off his roof, the protagonist laughing at him, and then having the roof cave in under the weight! But I got a nice laugh remembering

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Halfway to hell and picking up speed.