uncle phil

Three men die together in an accident and go to heaven.

When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!"

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the
place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they
try their best to avoid them, the first man accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman he ever saw.

St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping
on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly woman!"

The next day, the second man accidentally steps on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extreme ugly woman. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first man.

The third man has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly woman, is VERY, VERY careful where he steps.

He manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St.
Peter comes up to him with the most beautiful woman he has ever laid eyes on .... tall, long eyelashes, pretty hair, and curvacious too.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy man says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"

The woman says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

bhamv

Bwa ha ha ha ha!

By the way, does this count as heaven turning into hell for the first two guys?

ays

haha, that's great

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casual user

eh, a pussy's a pussy. i assume that no one is judgmental in heaven