uncle phil

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death.

They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden...

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon, I is sure of eet."

"Si, Luis, eet smells like bacon to meee."

So, with renewed strength, they struggle off up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree, just loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon...every imaginable kind of cured pig meat you can imagine!!

"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Eees a bacon tree."

"Luis, are sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the desert, don' forget."

"Pepe, when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smeell of bacon?...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."

And with that. . . Luis races towards the tree. He gets to within
5 metres, Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a
machine gun opens up, and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It
is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he
manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath.

"Pepe...go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree."

"Luis, Luis mi amigo...what ees eet?"

Pepe...ees not a bacon tree.............







Ees.....









Ees.....







Ees.....











Ees, a Ham Bush!"

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Plan9

Hahaha, NICE!

Damn, I wish I'd known this one in the Army.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

healer

Thanks, phil. That brought a welcome smile to my dial.

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shakran

I want a bacon tree. . .

Sion

hehehe cute.


I wonder tho...does ham bush = pig pussy?

__________________
He's the best, of course, of all the worst.
Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz

I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...

Plan9

Hey, I used this joke this weekend to much success.

Good stuff.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Psycho Dad

I don't just like bacon. I love bacon.

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Don't always trust the opinions of experts.

Titan_Uranus

That was all good ,thanks just what I need on a Monday .

Amaras

Would your dog pee on a bacon tree?

__________________
Propaganda is to a democracy what the bludgeon is to a totalitarian state.
-Noam Chomsky
Love is a verb, not a noun.
-My Mom
The function of genius is to furnish cretins with ideas twenty years later.
-Louis Aragon, "La Porte-plume," Traite du style, 1928

Mondak

good one.

__________________
All truth passes through three stages:
First it is ridiculed
Second, it is violently opposed and
Third, it is accepted as self-evident.

ARTHUR SCHOPENHAUER (1788-1860)

SirLance

Oh, man, I am laughing so hard tears are streaming down my face!

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DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.