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Old 11-30-2007, 03:09 AM   #1 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
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Location: upstate
The Bacon Tree

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death.

They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden...

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon, I is sure of eet."

"Si, Luis, eet smells like bacon to meee."

So, with renewed strength, they struggle off up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree, just loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon...every imaginable kind of cured pig meat you can imagine!!

"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Eees a bacon tree."

"Luis, are sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the desert, don' forget."

"Pepe, when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smeell of bacon?...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."

And with that. . . Luis races towards the tree. He gets to within
5 metres, Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a
machine gun opens up, and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It
is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he
manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath.

"Pepe...go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree."

"Luis, Luis mi amigo...what ees eet?"

Pepe...ees not a bacon tree.............







Ees.....









Ees.....







Ees.....











Ees, a Ham Bush!"
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-----------------------------------------
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Old 11-30-2007, 03:34 AM   #2 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
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Hahaha, NICE!

Damn, I wish I'd known this one in the Army.
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Old 11-30-2007, 06:06 AM   #3 (permalink)
Found my way back
 
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Location: South Africa
Thanks, phil. That brought a welcome smile to my dial.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by The_Jazz
Ok - can I edit my posts to read "what healer said"?
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Old 11-30-2007, 06:13 AM   #4 (permalink)
Tone.
 
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I want a bacon tree. . .
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Old 12-01-2007, 06:33 PM   #5 (permalink)
Dumb all over...a little ugly on the side
 
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Location: In the room where the giant fire puffer works, and the torture never stops.
hehehe cute.


I wonder tho...does ham bush = pig pussy?
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Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz

I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...
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Old 12-02-2007, 07:25 PM   #6 (permalink)
I Confess a Shiver
 
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Hey, I used this joke this weekend to much success.

Good stuff.
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Old 12-02-2007, 07:56 PM   #7 (permalink)
Mulletproof
 
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Location: Some nucking fut house.
I don't just like bacon. I love bacon.
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Old 12-03-2007, 02:12 AM   #8 (permalink)
Insane
 
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Location: South Africa
That was all good ,thanks just what I need on a Monday .
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Old 12-03-2007, 11:36 AM   #9 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Location: At my daughter's beck and call.
Would your dog pee on a bacon tree?
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The function of genius is to furnish cretins with ideas twenty years later.
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Old 12-03-2007, 12:56 PM   #10 (permalink)
Industrialist
 
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Location: Southern California
good one.
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First it is ridiculed
Second, it is violently opposed and
Third, it is accepted as self-evident.

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Old 12-07-2007, 07:50 PM   #11 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Location: In the middle of the desert.
Oh, man, I am laughing so hard tears are streaming down my face!
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