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06-20-2003, 08:25 AM
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#1 (permalink) |
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Junkie
Location: X-posed
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IT in the home
FROM A FEMALE PERSPECTIVE
Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slowdown in the performance of the flower and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under the boyfriend 5.0 system. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs such as Romance 9.9, and instead installed undesirable programs such as NHL 7.4, AFL 3.2, and World Cup 4.1. Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs, and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do ? Sincerely, Venus Dear Venus, First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 was an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME and install Tears 6.2. Then Husband 1.0. should automatically run the applications Guilt 3.3 and Flowers 7.5. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0. to default to such background applications as Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please remember that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly.wav files. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0, or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0, likely permanently. It could also potentially cause Husband 1.0 to default to another program, Girlfriend 9.2, which runs quietly in the background and has been known to introduce potentially serious viruses into the operating system. In summary Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and can't learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to enhance this system performance. I personally recommend Hot Meal 3.0 and Lingerie 4.5, combined with such applications as Boob Job 36.D and the all-encompassing Steamy Sex 6.9 (which have both been credited with improved hardware performance). Sincerely, Tech Support FROM A MALE PERSPECTIVE Dear Tech Support, Eighteen months ago I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2 which I'd used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is also incompatible with several other applications, such as Boys Night Out 3.1, Football 2.0 and Playboy 6.1. Successive versions of Girlfriend have proved no better. A shareware beta-programme, Party Girl 2.1, had many bugs and left a virus in my system forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks. Eventually I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to all my hardware. Seeing a way out I upgraded to Fianc=E9e 1.0, only to discover that this product eventually has to be upgraded to Wife 1.0. I did this largely because while Wife 1.0 uses up all the available resources, it does come bundled with Free Sex Plus and Clean House 2000. However, I also discovered that Wife 1.0 can be very unstable and costly to run. For example, any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory, and could not be deleted. Not only that, they then resurfaced months later. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary Explorer and e-mail porn filter, and can, without warning, launch Hot Tongue 2.1 and Cold Shoulder 4.2. These latter products have no help files and require you to try and guess the problem yourself. Additional costly problems are that the Wife 1.0 bundle that came with the original system needs updating regularly, requiring Shoe Shop Browser Pro for new attachments, and Hairstyle Express needs to be reinstalled every other week. Wife 1.0 also has a rather annoying pop-up called Mother-in-Law, which can't be turned off. Any Suggestions? Sincerely, Mars Dear Mars, Take your whole Wife 1.0 package, and trade it in for a new and improved version... you can choose from either Wife 2.0 or Mistress 1.0. Sincerely, Tech Support CONFIDENTIALITY NOTE: This message contains information which may be privileged or confidential, or exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If the reader of this message is not the intended recipient, or the employee or agent responsible for delivering the message to the intended recipient, you are hereby NOTIFIED that any dissemination, distribution, retention, archiving, or copying of this communication is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please notify us immediately by return e-mail at rollstamp_systems@magna.on.ca CONFIDENTIALITY NOTE: This message contains information which may be privileged or confidential. If you are not the intended recipient, please delete the e-mail and any attachments and notify us immediately by return e-mail to the sender. Thank you in advance for your assistance.
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Living on the west end dreaming of the theater playing in the Metropolis - Dream the Dream Live the Dream |
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06-28-2003, 11:07 AM
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#7 (permalink) |
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Deliberately unfocused
Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby
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If you are experiencing these problems, avoid expansion pack Child 1.0. Anecdotal evidence to the contrary, it does not solve anything.
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"Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard |
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07-31-2003, 08:53 AM
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#16 (permalink) | |
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Psycho
Location: that place with the thing
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Re: IT in the home
Quote:
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I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons. I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and voice of reason. I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices, son. They're one and the same I must isolate you, isolate and save you from yourself." - A Perfect Circle |
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