uncle phil

I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline. Got a call center in Pakistan.
Told them I was suicidal. They got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane.

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

ring

Thank goodness I know how to Heimlich myself, that had me choking on my cold pizza and sourcream.
tanx.

Elegia

- So where do you get your recruits?
- Suicide hotline

Gotta love it

xepherys

That is friggin' hilarious!

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The prospect of achieving a peace agreement with the extremist group of MILF is almost impossible...
-- Emmanuel Pinol, Governor of Cotobato

My Homepage

bhamv

The best jokes often make you go, "Damn, that's so wrong."

This is one such joke. Good one!