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#1 (permalink) |
Misanthropic
Location: Ohio! yay!
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Not a joke.
This is what I like to call "Job Security". This is a totally real, unchanged (except I moved the format around so you can read it from top to bottom) e-mail from a teller at the bank where I am a Net Admin. Not even a blond...
From: poor, poor clueless user Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 10:03 AM To: Crack Subject: hey i have a computer question... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Crack Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 1:45 PM To: poor, poor clueless user Subject: RE: hey shoot. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: poor, poor clueless user Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 2:09 PM To: Crack Subject: RE: hey OK MY COMPUTER AT HOME IS MESSIN UP... EVERY TIME I TURN IT ON, IT MAKES A SCREECHING SOUND AND SAYS KEYBOARD FAILURE, AND THEN I CANT USE MY KEYBOARD OR MY MOUSE... NOW IS IT MY KEYBOARD OR IS IT A VIRUS, OR WHAT??? I HAVE TRIED UNHOOKING THE KEYBOARD, AND IT DOESNT MAKE THE SOUND WHEN I DO TAHT... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Crack Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 2:13 PM To: poor, poor clueless user Subject: RE: hey It's most likely your keyboard, go buy a new one for $15 an test it out. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: poor, poor clueless user Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 2:34 PM To: Crack Subject: RE: hey YOU GOT 15 BUCKS? WAT IF IT ISNT THAT???... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Crack Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 2:36 PM To: poor, poor clueless user Subject: RE: hey Then you have a new keyboard. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: poor, poor clueless user Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 2:51 PM To: Crack Subject: RE: hey JERK -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Crack Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 3:01 PM To: poor, poor clueless user Subject: RE: hey Any keyboard will work then, if you know it works. Just make sure it has a PS/2 connection. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: poor, poor clueless user Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 3:02 PM To: Crack Subject: RE: hey PS2??? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Crack Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 3:03 PM To: poor, poor clueless user Subject: RE: hey Yep, most are PS2 now, but some have a USB connection, don't get those. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: poor, poor clueless user Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 3:05 PM To: Crack Subject: RE: hey oooooo ok. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Crack Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 3:10 PM To: poor, poor clueless user Subject: RE: hey but then you will also see some keyboards with serial connections, those are ok if you want to go that route. On the other hand that might become more problematic as you start to process more and more data, as the serial connections cannot keep up with you. on average, how much data you you process per hour? Is it more than 2 terraflops? If so, you might want to get the USB keyboard with the enhanced 14DS/pt extention. That should work well for what you are doing. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: poor, poor clueless user Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 3:19 PM To: Crack Subject: RE: hey ENGLISH PLEASE. CANT I JUST GO BUY A FRIGGIN KEYBOARD W/ A PC THING?? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Crack Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 3:23 PM To: poor, poor clueless user Subject: RE: hey good luck! Just wait until you get it home and it doesn't fit your computer. I would ask the salesperson at the store where you are going to buy it at if they even have a keyboard with an enhanced 14DS/pt extention first, most do, but some do not. If you are looking for cheaper, you can find a R4D4 Keyboard for not a lot of money, but they also lack the ability to do mulitple MPQ format files, and I mean come on, who doesn't do multiple MPQ format files nowadays... --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: poor, poor clueless user Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 3:38 PM To: Crack Subject: RE: hey DONT TRY TO MAKE URSELF SOUND SMART. YOU KNOW THOSE TERMS DONT WORK W/ ME... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Crack Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 3:39 PM To: poor, poor clueless user Subject: RE: hey you wanted advice! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: poor, poor clueless user Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 3:41 PM To: Crack Subject: RE: hey STUFF I KNOW! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Crack Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 3:42 PM To: poor, poor clueless user Subject: RE: hey how do I know what you know? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: poor, poor clueless user Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 3:47 PM To: Crack Subject: RE: hey OK IM A NORMAL PERSON. I AM A TELLER... DO I LOOK LIKE I WORK ON COMPUTERS? NOW ESPECIALLY IF I ASKED YOU IF I NEEDED A NEW KEYBOARD WHENEVER IT SAID KEYBOARD FAILURE??? Y WOULD I ASK IF I WAS SMART IN COMPUTERS?? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Crack Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 3:48 PM To: poor, poor clueless user Subject: RE: hey Maybe you were testing me, I am not sure... Ok, so what have we accomplished here? What are you going to look for when you shop for a new keyboard? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: poor, poor clueless user Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 3:59 PM To: Crack Subject: RE: hey I DONT KNOW. ILL JUST TELL THEM THE KINDA COMP I HAVE N THEN THEY CAN GIVE ME ONE. U CONFUSED ME HALF TO DEATH -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Crack Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 4:08 PM To: poor, poor clueless user Subject: RE: hey good luck with that! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: poor, poor clueless user Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2006 4:12 PM To: Crack Subject: RE: hey G THANKS, CANT U JUST COME WIT ME WHEN I BY IT? PLEZE?
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Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex. ~Halx |
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#2 (permalink) |
Searching for the perfect brew!
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Hell, I don't know much about pc's but I could print or write down what a professional
suggests and take it to Bestbuy or similar. Whatta maroon! ![]()
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"That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son" Last edited by Brewmaniac; 09-11-2007 at 10:45 AM.. |
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#4 (permalink) | |
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
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Macs don't use PS2 connectors. We use USB. It's simpler that way, and I'm not aware of any computer made in the past 8 years that won't just use a USB keyboard. When I said PS2 to my last boss referring to the connector, he though I meant Play-Station 2 and insisted that he didn't want to do gaming on his work computer. There are some people who just use computers and don't have any inclination to learn about how to do it, instead relying on tech people to explain it to them 100 times.
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#5 (permalink) | |
will always be an Alyson Hanniganite
Location: In the dust of the archives
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Quote:
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"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony "Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt. |
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#6 (permalink) | |
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
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I mean I'm a Mac guy. All we need to know is plug ![]() ![]() |
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#7 (permalink) | |
will always be an Alyson Hanniganite
Location: In the dust of the archives
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Quote:
__________________
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony "Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt. |
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#10 (permalink) | |
will always be an Alyson Hanniganite
Location: In the dust of the archives
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Quote:
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__________________
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony "Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt. |
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#11 (permalink) | |
Misanthropic
Location: Ohio! yay!
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Quote:
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__________________
Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex. ~Halx |
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#12 (permalink) | |
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
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Now that I think of it, there should be an intellectual makeover show, too. They let you go back to school and get your doctorate in something. And they force you into TFPolitics kicking and screaming. |
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#14 (permalink) |
Unencapsulated
Location: Kittyville
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To be fair, she called him a jerk for trying to help. With her PERSONAL problem on her PERSONAL computer.
She is ... sadly... a complete friggin' moron and I hope to gods she doesn't reproduce.
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My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'. |
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#15 (permalink) |
pigglet pigglet
Location: Locash
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ha! jess always brings the compassion i'm looking for when she doesn't mean to
![]() seriously, i can see how she could get confused...crack made no effort to really help her become enlightened...he fucked with her. thus, i assumed she was hot and he was trying to subtly flirt with her. once again, no one likes to fuck with people quite as much as crack.
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You don't love me, you just love my piggy style |
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#16 (permalink) |
Human
Administrator
Location: Chicago
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Crack only starting fucking with her after she 1) inexplicably decided to type in all caps after displaying in the first e-mail that she's capable of normal typing 2) gave him attitude for suggesting she spend $15! and 3) called him a jerk. I think he was well within his right at that point to screw with her.
Anyway, pretty amusing.
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Le temps détruit tout "Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling |
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#17 (permalink) | |
Insane
Location: Baltimore
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I'm married now, so the only thing in my house that pulls out now is the couch. ![]() |
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#18 (permalink) |
WARNING: FLAMMABLE
Location: Ask Acetylene
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My favorite type of serial connector is Lucky Charms, but you have to make sure not to process too much of that because it will gum up your CPU and then you have to switch to Raisin Bran.
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"It better be funny" ![]() |
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#19 (permalink) | |
Junkie
Location: Some place windy
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Regardless, it was a humorous email exchange. |
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#21 (permalink) |
Delicious
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Dude WTH! You had a chance to use a ID-Ten-T_Error(ID10T) and a Pebkac and you didn't! Uber FAIL!@
You're cruel though. Funny stuff. It's sad some people don't bother to learn to simplest things about something so common.
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“It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick” - Dave Barry |
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#22 (permalink) | |
Misanthropic
Location: Ohio! yay!
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speaking of which, this is seriously my license plate ![]() Don't track me down and kill me please
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Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex. ~Halx |
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#23 (permalink) | |
Une petite chou
Location: With All Your Base
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Give her email to the Nigerian scammers.
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Here's how life works: you either get to ask for an apology or you get to shoot people. Not both. House Quote:
The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me. Ayn Rand
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#25 (permalink) |
Junkie
Location: Fort Worth, TX
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My next email to this person would be:
"You obviously need to replace your keyboard, your Caps Button is broken."
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"Smite the rocks with the rod of knowledge, and fountains of unstinted wealth will gush forth." - Ashbel Smith as he laid the first cornerstone of the University of Texas |
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