Xixox

One evening some men were hitting the Guinness Stout and having a contest over
who could make the best toast. John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said,
"Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night."

She said, "Aye, what was your toast?"

John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh that is very nice indeed, John!," Mary said.

The next day Mary ran into one of John's toasting buddies on the street corner.
The man chuckled leeringly and said,
"John won the prize the other night with a toast about you Mary."

She said, "Aye, and I was a bit surprised meself!You know, he's only been there twice!
Once he fell asleep and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come!"

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Incompetence
When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do.

MexicanOnABike

ahahah!!!! good one!

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- Movie Reviews - Ratings-

Baz

That's a good one.

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- Baz

ratbastid

Remember that ear-pulling move, ladies!

Meier_Link

that's funny as shit dude rofl

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life is a sexually transmitted disease

shield2057

ahahha, thats great lol!

william_wallace

HAHAHA, good one!

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I'm the Ninja Storm Trooper Division Commander in qpid's liberation army so we can take over the world before Microsoft does. Join the Revolution!

“If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college...”
- some woman that Lewis Black heard in IHOP

Sparky

Great one.

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"I had never really thought about it before," Det. Dern said. "But obviously, giving an elephant an enema can be a very dangerous activity and not something that should be attempted alone."

MyFakeAccount

thats a great one

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I wasn't There
I Didn't Do it
You Don't know me

squant

ver funny

soopafreek

nice one!

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aaarrrrrgggghhhh!!!!

Gnzo

hahha, that was nice

JStrider

all his friends are gonna laugh at him now... poor guy...

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-=JStrider=-

~Clatto Verata Nicto

Orionath

HaHa! He'll get his chestnuts roasted!

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What awful irony is this?
We are as gods, but know it not.
http://www.pbase.com/procyon_groot&view=recent/

bubbaspike

caught me off guard
very funny

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Y'all watch this.......

Glad-I-Ate-Her

That's what happens when lies.

Funny!

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I'm "Glad I Ate Her" because the payback was worth it!!

opentocomments

i dont get it... jk

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How do we know that the sky is not green and we are all color-blind?

Hycdubg

Funny stuff.

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Alice, that dog has been licking his own asshole for three hours. I would venture to say that there is nothing there that requires more than an hour's attention. So I would suggest that whatever he's attempting to dislodge is either gone for good....or there to stay.

-The Long Kiss Goodnight_