Things I want to say to my boss
 

I work in a small office, and work has been slow latly. I came up with these one day while bored.

- Do you even know what a megabyte is?

- Sir, sometimes you need to let function win out over form.

- I havent gotten to your current BS because I'm backlogged with the BS that was important to you yesterday.


- I know I'm not wearing pants today. It's the only way I can feel like I have some freedom around here.

- You know when you are talking about how great your dinner was last night, and I smile? I'm thinking of you choking during that meal.

- Thanks for the gift from your rescent trip! It totally makes up for the fact that you pay me so little I can't go on vacation!

- The only reason I'm listening to this story about your BMW is that I'm on the clock right now.

- If you're going to talk at work, I should be aloud to drink here.

- Why can't I question your authority?

Yeah...I understand that! I think the one I like best is the dinner one.

Substitute golf for BMW and I'm there.

- I havent gotten to your current BS because I'm backlogged with the BS that was important to you yesterday.

awesome

love those!

- I havent gotten to your current BS because I'm backlogged with the BS that was important to you yesterday.

I know that feeling...**shiver** Almost makes me want to say it.

My 65yr old boss is new to computers. As I write this he is currently (on my advice) cropping 100 or so digital photos, one at a time, so he can e-mail them to himself at home.

I could tell him just to take his camera home with him, but where's the fun in that?

ummm maybe you should actually go to business school BEFORE you bankrupt the company... moron.

Yeah... Perfect. That's getting printed out good & big and is replacing my name on my in tray :D

Mike.

Pretty darned fuuny- just remember to keep those thoughts in your head, at least until you've found a new job. Then whip 'em out! Thanks for the post.

Whenever I hand my boss a fax (the fax machine is in MY office) he asks "What is this?"

I've begun answering with totally random bullshit -
"Your horiscope, silly Libra"
"The Magna Charta"
"War and Peace - the really really condensed version"
"Paper airplane kit"

I don't think he's noticed yet.

you should anonymously start posting one of those every day somewhere where its seen by people...

if my boss was convulsing in the street i'd kick him in the face. unless i was driving. then i'd run over his head. nobody would care.