Elephant Jokes
 

They're old, they're bad, and everyone's heard them, but what joke forum would be complete without them?

Q. What do elephants use for tampons?

A. Sheep.


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Q. Why do elephants have long trunks?

A. Sheep don't have strings to get them back out.

These are great, OMG that reminds me what was that series of jokes with the elephants in trees, and it involved squirrels? That was the funniest thing ever, can't remember it.

yaaayy! elephant jokes

ugh...sheep tampon for an elephant....that's a gross and grotesque piece of imagery...but funny nonetheless.

Come on people, let's get some more!

You forgot one.

Q: What's the moral to this joke?

A: Never wear a red wooly sweater.

ok ok I found it:

Why do elephants wear springs on their feet?
So they can jump up into the trees and fuck squirrels.

What's the most terrifying sound to a squirrel?
"Boing, boing, boing..."

one more...not really on the topic but an elephant joke none the less
Q: Hod do u kill a blue elphant?
A:With a blue elephant gun!
Q: how do u kill a pink elphant?
Q2: with a pink elphant gun?
A: no. hold it's trunk until it turns blue then shott it with the blue elephant gun.

eli took mine, its a good one

Okay...
Q: How do you get down off an elephant?
A: You don't, you get down from a goose.
-------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why don't elephants ride bikes?
A: They don't have a thumb to ring the bell.

Q: What do you do if you come across an elephant..

A: Buddy, you better wipe him off

Q: what do you get when you cross an elephant with a rino?

A: a elephino

Safe Elephant Sex

Q: How can you tell that elephants have been doing it in your garage?

A: All your Hefty Bags are missing.

Ducks and Elephants

Q: Why do ducks have webbed feet?
A: To put out fires.

Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: To put out burning ducks.

Tarzan's Kipling-esque Treatise

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?
A: Hark! I shall soon be swimming in a veritable river of pachyderm seed!

Elephant Jokes
 

Bing,

This is my collection of elephant jokes! I'm looking for more for my collection, too, if you have any. They have to be somewhat surreal, and involve elephants... Or just play with your mind in an interesting way.

So, here we go:

What is grey and not there?
No elephants.

How are an elephant and a plum the same?
They're both purple, except for the elephant.

How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?
Step one: Open the door.
Step two: Put the elephant in.
Step three: Close the door.

How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?
Step one: Open the door.
Step two: Take the elephant out.
Step three: Put the giraffe in.
Step four: Close the door.

If an elephant and a giraffe had a race, who would win?
The elephant. The giraffe is in the refrigerator.

Bingle

jokes like these make the baby jebuz cry :(

hehe so awful, yet so funny

The "search this forum" box is your friend

(threads merged and hey... look at this one: http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...threadid=26844)

Hmm.

Well, all right. I sort of wanted the absurdist jokes rather than elephant ones, which is why I started my own thread, but OK. I guess TFProject is running low on thread space again ;-)

Bingle

coo

Sorry, thought you were "looking for more" elephant jokes for your collection, if we had any. Jokes on me.

Well yes, I was. Sorry, I explained myself badly... I am looking for more absurdist jokes. The ones I have involve elephants (a very absurd animal, really) and so I titled the post "Elephant Jokes". But really, the elephants are immaterial - I actually want jokes that depend for their humor value on being totally surreal or absurd - doing something clever with reality, hopefully.

The interesting thing about these jokes, to me, is the way they play with the concept of a joke as the basis for their humor - sort of a meta-joke. The funny thing about the elephant-giraffe exchange is not the actual content of the joke, but the fact that the elephants referred to are 'remembered' from joke to joke rather than just treated as a disposable placeholder as they are in most other jokes - it's making fun of our concept of humor and the class of jokes like "blond jokes" or "priest jokes".

Anyway, what I'm really looking for is more like that, not more involving elephants. Of course, the fact that all my jokes involved elephants and that I posted with the title "elephant jokes" didn't really cause that message to come across.... For that, I apologise. But the sheep tampon jokes, as funny as they may be, don't really excite me as much as my 'elephant' jokes.

Bingle