mjby2

Well, a duck walks into a bar and the bartender goes, "What'll it be?" The duck says, "I want some grapes."

"Grapes? You mean grape juice, grapefruit juice, grape martini, what?"

"No, I just want grapes."

The bartender tells the duck to beat it and find a fruit stand.

The next day the duck returns. "What will it be?" says the barkeep.

"Grapes."

"WE AIN'T GOT ANY!" growels the barkeep. The duck leaves...

Third day, and the duck is back. The barkeep leans over the counter and yells, "Ask me for grapes one more freakin' time, and so help me, I'll NAIL your damn FEET to the FLOOR!!!"

The duck is silent.

After an awkward 30 seconds, the barktender says, "Sorry about that, I had a rough day. What can I get you?"

"Do you have any nails?" says the duck.

"No."

"Do you have any grapes?"

LoganSnake

Ah, middle school memories...

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Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

Sharon

This is the funniest joke I've heard this year!!!

Kasper4sale

old school lol

Silvy

I don't exactly know why, but that one had me laughing out loud!

Simple, yet effective I'll say

__________________
"Do not kill. Do not rape. Do not steal. These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace. "
- Murphy MacManus (Boondock Saints)

SSJTWIZTA

hahaha, what he said

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First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller