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Old 02-13-2007, 08:41 AM   #1 (permalink)
Submit to me, you know you want to
 
ShaniFaye's Avatar
 
Location: Lilburn, Ga
Butt Dust

What, you ask, is "Butt dust?" Read on and you'll discover the joy in
it!


JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister.
After a while he asked: "Mom, why have you got two? Is one for hot and
one for cold milk?"

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was
so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't
remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to
six."

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom goodnight. "I love you so much,
that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a painkiller. She tried in
vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom
explained it was a childproof cap and she'd have to open it for her.
Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's
me?"

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't
give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."

D.I. (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I
cost?"

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and
kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his
dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked
what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with
this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man
named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his
wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What
happened to the flea?"

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather
wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then
asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget... this particular Sunday
sermon... "Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward
heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are
but dust." He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient
daughter (who was listening!) leaned over to me and asked quite audibly
in her shrill little girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"
__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!
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Old 02-13-2007, 11:03 AM   #2 (permalink)
Evil Priest: The Devil Made Me Do It!
 
Daniel_'s Avatar
 
Location: Southern England
hur hur hur. Funny.
__________________
╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine

╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝
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Old 02-14-2007, 08:03 PM   #3 (permalink)
Searching for the perfect brew!
 
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As I heard many times, as I was growing up. Still holds true.

"Kids Say the Darndest Things" - Art Linkletter

"Thanks for the memories" Who said this, actually sang this?
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Old 02-17-2007, 09:01 AM   #4 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Wisconsin
Some really good ones there.

Thanks!
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Everything works if you let it....
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Old 02-17-2007, 10:56 AM   #5 (permalink)
Insane
 
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Location: Norway
Kids really know how to deliver them!
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Old 02-18-2007, 10:08 PM   #6 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Location: In the middle of the desert.
I remember a road trip with my little girl...

"Look Dad, we just crossed the Phoenix city lemons!"
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