Brewmaniac

Bob woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.

"Louise," he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?"

"Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn. "You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right
To his face."

"He's an idiot," Bob said. "Piss on him!"

"You did," came the reply. "And he fired you."

"Well, screw him!" said Bob.

"I did. You go back to work on Monday."

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"That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"

Siege

Hahaha, I like this one

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"Your name's Geek? Do you know the origin of the term? A geek is someone who bites the heads off chickens at a circus. I would never let you suck my dick with a name like Geek"

--Kevin Smith

This part just makes my posts easier to find

mazak

lmao great thanks!!!

tfpfreak

Haha gotta love the wife. Thanks!

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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be.

~ Clementine Paddleford

SirLance

Oh yeah! Hey, that reminds me...

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DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

Sharon

Two ways to see it: above the call of duty, or, any excuse...

Delvid

His wife is a keeper.

Sharon

I think that's probably what the boss thought too.