LoganSnake

There was a guy who had been having chronic trouble in trying to get an erection. After weeks of frustration, he finally breaks down and and goes to the doctor. The doctor gives him a thorough examination and finally makes the diagnosis.

"Well, there's good news and there's bad news," she says.

"The bad news is that the muscles around your penis are deteriorating, and there is no cure."

The guy, on the verge of panic, finally regains his composure. "So what's the good news?" he asks.

The doctor says, "There is an experimental treatment available, but there are no guarantees. It involves transplanting the muscles from a baby elephant's trunk into your penis. Would you like to try it?"

The guy thinks about it and finally says, "Well, the thought of going through life without being able to have sex is just too much for me. What have I got to lose? Let's do it." So the doctor performs the operation.

A few weeks later, the guy takes his girlfriend out to a nice restaurant to celebrate his new equipment. While sitting at the table, he feels a stirring between his legs; it gets progressively worse until it reaches the point of being painful.

Seeking relief, he reaches down and unzips his fly to relieve some of the pressure.

Suddenly, his penis leaps free from his pants, slides over the tabletop and grabs a dinner roll, then returns to his pants again.

"Wow!" says his stunned girlfriend, "That was impressive! Can you do that again?"

Eyes watering and face flushed, he says, "Probably... but I don't know if I can fit another dinner roll up my ass!"

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Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

Brewmaniac

Laughing my ass off for a couple of minutes!
Great joke LoganSnake. Thank You!

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"That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"

Average_Joe

I heard Buddy Hackett tell this joke on an HBO special about 10 years ago, and I still laughed when I read it just now. That guy was the $h!t.

Delvid

We have a winner. Great joke.

zed wolf

That was another bloody brilliant joke!
One of the best Ive herd in a while.

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Wait a minute...you google searched uncircumsized wang?
And we're the best that you could find?~~~~~~~~~ Bill O'Rights
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Daniel_

Very funny.

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Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
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SirLance

Oh, God... tears are streaming down my face!

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genuinegirly

hehe. Goodness that's so rediculous!

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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

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Mauser

Totally went the opposite way I was thinking it would.

tfpfreak

Priceless... Definitely didn't see that coming. Great job.

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Mantus

That was great

John Falcon

Use more butter.

Sharon

Hahahaha - I love the jokes with a twist in the tail.

batm4n_23

really funny