At the nursing home - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Brewmaniac · 10-02-2006, 06:19 PM

Sirlance, you started it with the old men, so...

Howard is 95 and lives in a senior citizen home. Every night after
dinner, Howard goes to a secluded garden behind the centre to sit and
ponder his accomplishments and long life.
One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to
chat, and before they know it, several hours have passed. After a short
lull in their conversation, Howard turns to Mildred and asks, "Do you
know what I miss most of all?"

She asks, "What?" and he replies "SEX!!!". Mildred exclaims, "Why you
old fart, you couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!"

"I know," Howard says, "but it would be nice if a woman just held it
for a while."

"Well, I can oblige", says Mildred, who gently unzips his trousers,
removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it.

Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where
they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Howard's manhood. Then,
one night, Howard didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed,
Mildred decided to find Howard and make sure that he was O.K.

She walked around the senior citizen home where she found him sitting
by the pool with another female resident, Ethel, who was holding
Howard's manhood! Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing creep! What
does Ethel have that I don't have?!?"

Howard smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's.

joemc91 · 10-02-2006, 07:56 PM

HAHAHA! You win!

SirLance · 10-02-2006, 10:10 PM

Oh, shit... tears are streaming down my face....

Then there's the story of Morrie and Howie...

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...76#post2130976

Brewmaniac · 10-03-2006, 04:52 PM

Another good one Sirlance!

10-02-2006, 06:19 PM	#1 (permalink)
Brewmaniac Searching for the perfect brew!	At the nursing home Sirlance, you started it with the old men, so... Howard is 95 and lives in a senior citizen home. Every night after dinner, Howard goes to a secluded garden behind the centre to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life. One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat, and before they know it, several hours have passed. After a short lull in their conversation, Howard turns to Mildred and asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?" She asks, "What?" and he replies "SEX!!!". Mildred exclaims, "Why you old fart, you couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!" "I know," Howard says, "but it would be nice if a woman just held it for a while." "Well, I can oblige", says Mildred, who gently unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it. Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Howard's manhood. Then, one night, Howard didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Howard and make sure that he was O.K. She walked around the senior citizen home where she found him sitting by the pool with another female resident, Ethel, who was holding Howard's manhood! Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing creep! What does Ethel have that I don't have?!?" Howard smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's. __________________ "That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son" Last edited by Brewmaniac; 10-02-2006 at 06:21 PM..

10-02-2006, 07:56 PM	#2 (permalink)
joemc91 Insane Location: Chicago	HAHAHA! You win! __________________ I prefer desert wines to dessert wines. Dry and red

10-02-2006, 10:10 PM	#3 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	Oh, shit... tears are streaming down my face.... Then there's the story of Morrie and Howie... http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...76#post2130976 __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

10-03-2006, 04:52 PM	#4 (permalink)
Brewmaniac Searching for the perfect brew!	Another good one Sirlance! __________________ "That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"