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06-09-2003, 09:20 AM
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#1 (permalink) |
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itty bitty titty committee chairman
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Alcohol consumption
Alcohol Consumption
The FDA is considering additional warnings on beer and alcohol bottles, such as: WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember). WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Thor. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause a disruption in the space-time continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to "disappear." WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
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Goodbye! |
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06-09-2003, 08:50 PM
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#2 (permalink) |
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Junkie
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"WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole."
"WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants." Easily the two funniest of the lot, but especially the first one 
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The most important thing in this world is love. |
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| Tags |
| alcohol, consumption |
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