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Old 09-06-2006, 09:14 AM   #1 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Location: In the middle of the desert.
Golf Lessons

A husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them are playing like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons. The husband has his lesson first. After the pro sees his swing, he says, "No, no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard!"

"Well, what should I do?", asks the man.

"Hold the club gently," the pro replied, "just like you'd hold your wife's breast."

Taking the advice, he takes a swing, and POW! He hits the ball 250 yards straight up the fairway. The estatic man goes back to his wife with the good news, and the wife can't wait for her lesson.

The next day the wife goes for her lesson. The pro watches her swing and says, "No, no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard."

"What can I do?" asks the wife.

"Hold the club gently, just like you'd hold your husband's cock."

The wife listens carefully to the pro's advice, takes a swing, and THUMP -- the ball skips down the fairway about 15 feet.

"You know, that was a lot better than I expected," the pro says. "Now, take the club out of your mouth and hold it in your hands...."
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Last edited by SirLance; 09-07-2006 at 10:08 AM..
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Old 09-06-2006, 11:12 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: Canton, Ohio
Oh, man... just wait til Pan sees this thread...
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Old 09-06-2006, 02:26 PM   #3 (permalink)
Searching for the perfect brew!
 
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SirLance, this is a classic! Made me laugh out loud!

Thanks for sharing!
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Old 09-06-2006, 11:37 PM   #4 (permalink)
Found my way back
 
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Location: South Africa
Didn't see that one coming!

Nice one, SirLance.
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Old 09-07-2006, 10:04 AM   #5 (permalink)
Boy am I horny today
 
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Location: T O L E D O, Toledo!!
Hand on there, if they're married, it wouldn't be in her mouth!!

Thank you thank you, I'll be here all week.
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Old 09-07-2006, 11:53 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by absorbentishe
Hand on there, if they're married, it wouldn't be in her mouth!!
That is either unintentional and just plain hilarious, or you, sir, are brilliant, and I bow down to you.
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Old 09-08-2006, 04:37 PM   #7 (permalink)
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hilarious. made me lol.
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Old 09-19-2006, 10:04 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Location: Canada
BWAAAAHAHAHAHAH!
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Old 09-30-2006, 07:17 PM   #9 (permalink)
2+2=5? Not again!
 
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Location: Dallas, Texas
That was seriously funny!

And wow, 15 feet? Talk about talented lips!
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Old 09-30-2006, 08:34 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Location: Denton, TX
One must wonder, are her lips that strong? or does Mr. golfer have permanent bite marks? (cringe)
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