Memo RE:WOMAN - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

stevie667 · 06-06-2006, 03:02 AM

MEMO TO ALL STAFF
FROM: T.R. Plumpenmire, Regional CorTex manager
SUBJECT: WOMAN

It has come to my attention that several employees have been installing the program WOMAN into their office computers, most often from neighbouring departments. As you may or may not be aware, WOMAN, whilst seemingly benign, harbours serious coding defects that do not initially emerge upon instillation, but can render your operating systems defunct within an exceedingly small amount of time.

After some delving, it was found that the last bought of WOMAN was found to have caused the failure of the new flat screen monitors we recently purchased when someone in accounting tried to run WOMAN 4.6 and 2.3 simultaneously. WOMAN does NOT have an uninstall feature, and cannot be removed via the add/remove programs control system; frankly I am surprised more of you are not aware of this.

That particular outbreak caused several of the technical support crew to stay up all night trying to fix a myriad of other bugs that wrecked havoc with our REMOTE 1.2 integration systems, and the new C.A.R project R&D spent months working on. The issues arising from the program crashing with only the smallest of user prompting have cost this company hundreds of thousands of pounds in lost revenues and repair bills.

Fortunately, older releases tend to be less vulnerable to Worm and Netski viruses, but their constant maintenance issues have the technicians running circles. Whilst not causing the major software failures that other versions can instigate, they are extremely taxing on time during the removal process, not to mention highly costly to eliminate properly.

More disturbingly however, the IT department has informed me that there is a copy of the similar shareware program, WOMEN 1.9 working its way around the shared network. This particular program has spy-ware laced into its boot up procedures, and has been well documented to suffer attack from Trojans. It is highly likely to crash without any notice, causing any unsaved work or financial outlay to be lost.

If those who have obtained this program by whatever means wish to take steps to avoid further problems, you can obtain BOOZE 2.6 to erase WOMAN, and NEWLOK 3.1 to bar any further entry from IT without further enquiries into your actions from myself.
The system benefits that seemingly come with WOMAN are not worth the risk of system failure, please can you ensure your default MATES running protocols be kept to, they are there for a reason.

This company prides itself in providing the quickest and most professional delivery service for our millions of customers, oversights like this are not becoming of it, and will not be tolerated.
I will be consulting regularly with the head of IT regularly, and those who continue to use this program on office time will suffer disciplinary action.

06-06-2006, 03:02 AM	#1 (permalink)
stevie667 Too Awesome for Aardvarks Location: Angloland	Memo RE:WOMAN MEMO TO ALL STAFF FROM: T.R. Plumpenmire, Regional CorTex manager SUBJECT: WOMAN It has come to my attention that several employees have been installing the program WOMAN into their office computers, most often from neighbouring departments. As you may or may not be aware, WOMAN, whilst seemingly benign, harbours serious coding defects that do not initially emerge upon instillation, but can render your operating systems defunct within an exceedingly small amount of time. After some delving, it was found that the last bought of WOMAN was found to have caused the failure of the new flat screen monitors we recently purchased when someone in accounting tried to run WOMAN 4.6 and 2.3 simultaneously. WOMAN does NOT have an uninstall feature, and cannot be removed via the add/remove programs control system; frankly I am surprised more of you are not aware of this. That particular outbreak caused several of the technical support crew to stay up all night trying to fix a myriad of other bugs that wrecked havoc with our REMOTE 1.2 integration systems, and the new C.A.R project R&D spent months working on. The issues arising from the program crashing with only the smallest of user prompting have cost this company hundreds of thousands of pounds in lost revenues and repair bills. Fortunately, older releases tend to be less vulnerable to Worm and Netski viruses, but their constant maintenance issues have the technicians running circles. Whilst not causing the major software failures that other versions can instigate, they are extremely taxing on time during the removal process, not to mention highly costly to eliminate properly. More disturbingly however, the IT department has informed me that there is a copy of the similar shareware program, WOMEN 1.9 working its way around the shared network. This particular program has spy-ware laced into its boot up procedures, and has been well documented to suffer attack from Trojans. It is highly likely to crash without any notice, causing any unsaved work or financial outlay to be lost. If those who have obtained this program by whatever means wish to take steps to avoid further problems, you can obtain BOOZE 2.6 to erase WOMAN, and NEWLOK 3.1 to bar any further entry from IT without further enquiries into your actions from myself. The system benefits that seemingly come with WOMAN are not worth the risk of system failure, please can you ensure your default MATES running protocols be kept to, they are there for a reason. This company prides itself in providing the quickest and most professional delivery service for our millions of customers, oversights like this are not becoming of it, and will not be tolerated. I will be consulting regularly with the head of IT regularly, and those who continue to use this program on office time will suffer disciplinary action. __________________ Office hours have changed. Please call during office hours for more information.