maleficent

A first grade teacher, Mrs. Brooks was having trouble with one of her students.

The teacher asked, "Johnny what is your problem?"

Johnny answered, "I am too smart for the first Grade. My sister is in the third grade and I am smarter than she is! I think I should be in third grade too." Mrs. Brooks had enough. She took Johnny to the principal's office.

While Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.

The principal told Mrs. Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave. She agreed. Johnny was brought in and the conditions explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Johnny: "9."

Principal: "What is 6 x 6 ?"
Johnny: "36."

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grade should know. The principal looks at Mrs. Brooks and tells her, "I think Johnny can go to the third grade."

Mrs. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him, some questions?"

The principal and Johnny both agree.

Mrs. Brooks: "What does a cow have four of that I have only 2 of?
Johnny, after a moment "Legs."

Mrs. Brooks: What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Johnny: "Pockets."

Mrs. Brooks: "What starts with C and ends with T, is hairy, oval and delicious and contains a whitish liquid?"
Johnny: "Coconut."

Mrs. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink and comes out soft and sticky?"

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Johnny takes charge.....

Johnny: "Bubblegum."

Mrs. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on 3 legs?"

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.....

Johnny: "Shake hands."

Mrs. Brooks: "Now I will ask some 'Who am I' questions, okay?"

Mrs. Brooks: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do."

Johnny: "Tent."

Mrs. Brooks: "A finger goes inside me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first."

The principal was looking restless and a bit tense.

Johnny: "Wedding Ring."

Mrs. Brooks: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver?"

Johnny; "Arrow."

Mrs. Brooks: "What word starts with F and ends in K and means a lot of heat and excitement?"

Johnny: "Fire-truck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send Johnny to University, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"

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Dilbert1234567

oh god that took me a while to get through, i could not stop laughing after each one.

your a dirty, dirty forum mother

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Donate Blood!

"Love is not finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." -Sam Keen

Toaster126

Indeed. I'd spank her, but I have a feeling she'd like it. :P

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"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)