FuddMan

Munch of Oddworld fame...damn cripple

TheDave87

What about Bob the Cherub from messiah? You're a baby wearing a diaper, and your only means of defense is posessing other people... aside from that, id have to say Megaman, simply because of the amounts of stamina it must take to go through that many sequels.

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Honk if you've never seen an uzi fired from a car window!

Troublebot

Luther from SSX Tricky.

He's fat. He has a mullet. No one likes him except this one french guy. People make fun of him all the time.

Plus, the way I play, he ends up smashing into the snow with his face alot.

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Howard Moon: The wind is my only friend.
Wind: [whistling] I hate you.

eyeronic

The frog in Frogger!!! (...chess rules...)

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I hold with those that favor fire.

Clown

How about Daxter from Jak and Daxter? All you'd get to do is cling onto the back of this elf kid and spit out 1 liners...by the way you can play as him in Jak 2...where he'll be a whole lot cooler.

Mondak

Lara Croft and I would be a HUGE FRIGGEN LESBO!

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All truth passes through three stages:
First it is ridiculed
Second, it is violently opposed and
Third, it is accepted as self-evident.

ARTHUR SCHOPENHAUER (1788-1860)

90degree

Someone may have said this.. i didnt get a chance to read every reply... but I would say

the guy from the Dragons lair series hehehe

Pyrate

Definitely Luigi. He wants Peach's heart and pussy but his fat brovva is ahead of him.

He comes across as miserable and sad.

It would suck to be Luigi.

He's also a C-list vg character who's sibling to two troublemakers and a Superstar, who is, in passing, the face of Nintendo. That's gotta be stresseful for poor ol' humble Lu'!!!

:P

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Knolan Fairdale

It'd be a really bum deal to be Max Payne, but I think it'd be a lot worse to be the Marine from Doom and Doom II. To be sent into the bowels of Hell itself, facing all sort of inconceivable evil, and then coming home to good ol' Earth and facing the same thing all over again in the sequel...that's bad enough...

...But how would you like to face all that without being able to jump, look up or down, or aim worth a dime!! I tell you, even Gordon Freeman had it better than the Doom Marine, even with his own country's army after him!

Plus, the Marine's bunny got killed! Get your hands off me, damn dirty hellspawn! GD you all to...um...yea...

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And shepherds we shall be, for Thee, my Lord, for Thee
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand, so our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be
In nomini patri, et fili, et spiritus sancti

--"The Boondock Saints"

Pyrate

What's wrong with Knuckles? He's a dapper!

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THE MAC GOD

ANYONE in the Postal games -- especially when I play...

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Why continue fighting? Is it for Love? Illusions. All as artificial as the Matrix itself, although only a human mind could invent something as insipid as Love.

Fake Alias

Donkey Kong because he has no balls.

MSD

Link from the Zelda series. The princess keeps getting kidnapped by the guy who he thought he kiled in the previous game, and after all that trouble, he gets almost no credit. They name the game after her! 'Cleverly' inserting teh word "Link" into titles is not credit. Talk about no respect.

chainsawred

I second the vote for Frogger. Basically just keep trying to cross the road until you get splattered...

hawkeye

It has to really suck to be Mario, all that work to rescue the princess and the most he ever got was a kiss on the cheek at the end of M64?

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You're not fat,
You're just a giant ball
of love, covered in anger.

Ho-train

Jin from the tekken series. His father wants him dead and his grandfather wants him captured, if you can't trust family who can ya trust?

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And for our next topic...The Clitoris! Nature's rubix cube...

Pyrate

Nah, that's not true.

We all know that Peach took it up the ass at the end of the credits-it's just that knowing Nintendo's 'kiddy image' we never got to see it!

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freedomdowntime

Barbie, people only like her for her boobs and she has to hang around with ken all day.

In case you think that no one would make a barbie video game,

http://pocket.ign.com/articles/376/376162p1.html

Pyrate

Oh, I know about that barbie video game alright.

The games magazine that I used to read (CVG-Computer and Video Games) bought a copy and susequently burned it! Not before playing and then sentencing it, mind you...

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Peetster

Ms. Packman. An 80's attempt to take a fairly successful game and 'liberate' it for the ladies. How very sad.

Jasmar

I think it would suck to be the master chief from halo. He's all bad ass and stuff but imagine having to get up everyday and walk into a nearly suicidal battle against an entire army, and having to watch all your marines die and theres the fact that all he's gotten to do his entire life is train and fight and thats probably all he'll ever do

a_divine_martyr

Mark Hammond from The Getaway or Max Payne...

Barret from FF7, too.

/Rodney on

I just get no repect!

/Rodney off

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Censorship and thought control can only exist in secrecy and darkness...

Eviltree

Ever play skifree? that poor skier gets eaten by the big gray monster with the lazer gun EVERY SINGLE TIME. He knows it is coming, but can't do anything about it. plus, i mean, he's rendered very poorly.

bigdub

Q-Bert -- all he can do is jump around, and everyone else in his world tries to kill him.

losthellhound

I'd say Max Payne

(everytime you think you're doing well against the bastards who killed your family you get drugged up and have to listen to the baby cry for half an hour, all your friends die, everyone who tries to help you dies, and you realize you're not real. And To top it all off, its bloody cold out)

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"Life is possible only with illusions. And so, the question for the science of mental health must become an absolutely new and revolutionary one, yet one that reflects the essence of the human condition: On what level of illusion does one live?"
-- Ernest Becker, The Denial of Death

GakFace

Crono from Chrono Trigger.. Why? If you've played the game, then you know that at part of teh game he HAS TO DIE. no if ands or buts about it, he DIES. Shit his friends can continue thru the game and just let him stay dead. Thats gotta suck.

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RoboBlaster:
Welcome to the club! Not that I'm in the club. And there really isn'a a club in the first place. But if there was a club and if I was in it, I would definitely welcome you to it.

WetSpot

Second that vote for Lara Croft. Look, you can go get artifacts better than Indiana Jones. You are a better acrobat than any olympic gymnast in history. You're more cunning than Bugs Bunny. A better and faster shot than Doc Holiday. Still, all anyone can remember about you is your great cans! Not to mention that you have a new game coming out and more people are interested in watching Bob Ross painting shows than playing it!

Cention01

I think being the DOOM guy would be by far the worst...no matter how much ass he kicks he always goes back to hell.

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I was going to write something all clever here, but I couldn't think of anything.

crow_daw

I'd say Abe from Oddworld, having to just constantly be on the run from all sorts of fiends, and being all skinny with a sewn up mouth, and some would argue that it would be cool to be Abe, cause he becomes a messiah, but its an involuntary messiah, and to have to deal with unwanted responsibility is a huge chore.

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"We each have a star, all we have to do is find it. Once you do, everyone who sees it will be blinded." - Earl Simmons

LittleOralAnnie

I'll third Lara Croft. She has to lug around a backpack full of weapons and ammo, she has to constantly jump in the water with her clothes on then run around or climb ladders to dry off instead of just getting a fresh new outfit. It's a wonder she keeps any nails and her braid is so old school

Sun Tzu

The ship running from Sinistar. That game used to creep me out.

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To confine our attention to terrestrial matters would be to limit the human spirit.- Stephen Hawking

TheComingCurse

If anyone has played through Planescape: Torment, they would know the answer to this is simply The Nameless One. That is all.

Bryan

Somehow I always end up feeling sorry for the scientists in Half-Life.

darkmagex

man, i'd have to pick tingle

the single gayest videogame character in history. i want him to be a character in the next smash bros so i can kick the crap out of him with Link.

Prophecy

ah, hell... I definitely second that... That guy has one freaky fate...

also I recomend this game to anyone that hasn't played it and likes story based RPGs

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La Disciplina È La Mia Spada,
La Fede È Il Mio Schermo,
Non salti Ciecamente In Incertezza,
E Potete Raccogliere Le Ricompense.

Papageorgeo101

Cloud Strife

He faces an illusionary world created by his lack of difinitive success in which he strived to achieve. Not only this, but one of the girls that he really cared for (one might even say love) was cut down by someone he looked up to for years. His home town and everyone in it were also destroyed by the same person. Not only did he do this, but he also played mind games with Cloud, leading him almost to the breaking point of insanity. He plays on his emotions and uses his illusionment against him and turns his mind into putty, able to be molded however he sees fit; he actually was controlling his mind a couple times. The list goes on and on, but the main point is; it would suck to be Cloud Strife

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The face is but a visage to the human soul; and the eyes are the gateway. To look into a person's eyes is to delve deep into an endless pit of complexities, emotions, and feelings. Such an enormous theory, but yet so simple.

mrquackers

Gotta go with "Contestant One!" in S.M.A.S.H. TV. Sure he got "big money" and "big prizes" - but he ultimately never got to keep any of 'em.

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"If you're walking on thin ice, you may as well go ahead and dance."

schUsseln

The guy from Bolderdash - always getting crushed, by the earth no less...

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A moral point of view too often serves as a substitue for understanding in technological matters.
-Marshal McLuhan

Dorkums642

ROFL!

I would have to say the worst playable character has got to be Q-Bert. WTF?! He can't do didly squat but jump around on some block crap and avoid baddies. What a life....

or maybe it would have to be the driver from Stuntman. I mean, this f@cking guy can't do ANYTHING right for the director. It's always, "CUT, Take 54, Roll it." and he has to put up with the sass from the director and makes PEANUTS. NOT to mention contending with the extras that are driving! They can't even alter course they're so retarded. Why not improvise and avoid a premature head on collision.....

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I've never come across this in real life, but then I went to a small liberal arts college so that probably didn't help.

cockmonger

thats a tough one. Either Boy from Boy AND his Blob. or the guy from CONTRA (I'm old schoolin this answer with them 8-bit NES titles...sorry)

Boy because he has to rely on a puddle of amorphis goo that is hooked on jellybeans. An ungrateful blob at that. sure hes happy when you feed him but when hes not paying attention and misses on sheeee-it he won't come near you. ass. But seriously, what game character do you know that can't jump, or at least swim.

The guy from Contra, because of the one hit kills thing. its gotta suck to know you died from someone headbutting you in the foot.