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Old 02-23-2006, 06:48 AM   #1 (permalink)
Soylent Green is people.
 
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Location: Northern California
You know you're in danger in a FPS game when ....

When playing a First Person Shooter you know you're gonna be in big danger when ..


... when the ominous music completely stops and it becomes silent

... you find all kinds of unguarded ammo, health and armor just lying around along the way ("fattening" you up for the "kill")

... when you are about to enter a new area and your framerate suddenly drops

... when the words "saving checkpoint" pop up without warning

... when you find a dead, mutilated guy next to a door

... when you DON'T find any ammo, health or armor for the longest time

... when you realize that the boss you're fighting is depicted on the box cover

... when the boss you're fighting has dialogue

... when there's fighting underwater or in outer space without oxygen

... when you know you have to jump, shoot, push buttons and dodge projectiles within a limited time to finish the level (I hated those - makes me want to dump the game and play something else)

did I miss any?

Last edited by longbough; 02-23-2006 at 06:51 AM..
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Old 02-23-2006, 07:59 AM   #2 (permalink)
Too Awesome for Aardvarks
 
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Location: Angloland
...When you go on a killing spree with the good gun against the crappy guys, only to save just before you find the guy you were meant to be saving the ammo for.
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Old 02-23-2006, 08:11 AM   #3 (permalink)
Getting Medieval on your ass
 
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Location: 13th century Europe
... when the music starts (Half-Life 2).

... when you need to reload.
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Old 02-23-2006, 10:33 AM   #4 (permalink)
Free Mars!
 
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Location: I dunno, there's white people around me saying "eh" all the time
... when you hear some background noise prior to a baddie coming (think branch breaking or a can is knocked over)
... when the car you're driving doesn't have emergency brake and you're approaching the cliff
... the tank doesn't reload fast enough when another one is heading for you (SP2)
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Old 02-23-2006, 01:08 PM   #5 (permalink)
Banned
 
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Location: The Cosmos
When the cat jumps on your keyboard...
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Old 02-23-2006, 02:09 PM   #6 (permalink)
I want a Plaid crayon
 
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And thats what cats are for. I miss having a cat around. someone buy me a kitten.
How about when your in some real dark tunnel and your flashlight runs out of power the second you see a bunch of stuff running at you.
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Old 02-23-2006, 02:18 PM   #7 (permalink)
Free Mars!
 
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Location: I dunno, there's white people around me saying "eh" all the time
Quote:
Originally Posted by Plaid13
And thats what cats are for. I miss having a cat around. someone buy me a kitten.
How about when your in some real dark tunnel and your flashlight runs out of power the second you see a bunch of stuff running at you.
Oh fuck man, I hated that in Half life 2 in some dark tunnel and next thing you know, there's a whole bunch of head munchers or whatever they're called, coming for you
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Old 02-23-2006, 10:02 PM   #8 (permalink)
Yo dawg, I herd u like...
 
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Location: memes.
When you try to rush a bombsite and hear "FIRE IN THE HOLE" from a teammate behind you.

*PING*


I hate flashbangs.
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Old 02-24-2006, 03:58 AM   #9 (permalink)
Soylent Green is people.
 
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Location: Northern California
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeraph
When the cat jumps on your keyboard...
Then you need this:
PawSense

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Old 02-24-2006, 08:50 AM   #10 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Location: Detroit, MI
doh...already mentioned!

Last edited by powerclown; 02-24-2006 at 08:52 AM..
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Old 02-24-2006, 09:32 AM   #11 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: UK
lol they are so true
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Old 02-24-2006, 09:40 AM   #12 (permalink)
Crazy
 
You hear voices whispering that "you're dead" and you can't tell where it's coming from. Department Store level of Condemned... anyone know what I'm talking about? That level is creepy.
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Old 02-24-2006, 02:23 PM   #13 (permalink)
Chicken scratch.
 
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Location: Japan!!!
"when you realize that the boss you're fighting is depicted on the box cover . . ."

That one is hilarious.

Also - PawSense, I just about crapped my pants when I read that.
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Old 02-24-2006, 06:46 PM   #14 (permalink)
Sultana ruined my evil persona
 
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Location: Los Angeles
...when you realize you dropped the weapon you needed to defeat the fucker in front of you 3 rooms back. (FEAR)
...you used your last medic kit with 98% heath!!
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Old 02-24-2006, 08:00 PM   #15 (permalink)
Addict
 
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Location: Tulsa, OK
...when your computer slows down to a crawl because it's beginning to load a gargantuan model behind the next door you open.

And also, it's been said before, but the tons and tons of unguarded weapons/ammo, new weapons you haven't seen before, and a save point, are sure indicators that something really bad is about to happen.
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Old 02-25-2006, 08:45 AM   #16 (permalink)
Soylent Green is people.
 
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Location: Northern California
Not quite an FPS shooter but I had to mention this one.
When playing Star Wars Battlefront as a sniper ... a teammate with a rocket launcher decides to follow you around ... giving up your position every time he fires.
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Old 02-25-2006, 11:31 AM   #17 (permalink)
The Mighty Boosh
 
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Location: I mostly come out at night, mostly...
...you press 'Quick Save' by mistake instead of 'Quick Load'
...you run into a room just as 10 enemies spawn in it, all with spawn protection
...your mission is to escort/protect someone, who seems to love running head-long into gunfire
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Last edited by djflish; 02-25-2006 at 11:33 AM..
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Old 02-25-2006, 12:23 PM   #18 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: Louisiana
.... alone you get the drop on the enemy.. your set to go.. you voice your team over ts or vent or the like.. and say "alright move up i got them" then your buddy runs past your prone form blasting away at 1500m with a 9mm laughing the whole time..

sigh happened in DF:LW grrr

....on a claymore "front towards enemy" really means it
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Old 02-26-2006, 02:31 AM   #19 (permalink)
Soylent Green is people.
 
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Location: Northern California
Quote:
Originally Posted by djflish
...you press 'Quick Save' by mistake instead of 'Quick Load'
how about when you press 'Quick Load' by mistake instead of 'Quick Save'? ... especially if you've been doing well up to that moment...
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Old 02-26-2006, 03:51 AM   #20 (permalink)
Insane
 
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Location: Hawaii
...when you get teleported to a new world and all the cool guns are gone and now you have one gun with a small amount of ammo...
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Old 02-27-2006, 06:50 AM   #21 (permalink)
Who You Crappin?
 
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Location: Everywhere and Nowhere
...when you hit the unmarked save point with one bar of energy and 4 bullets (Halo) and every time you restart, that's what you have
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Old 02-27-2006, 02:54 PM   #22 (permalink)
Knight of the Old Republic
 
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Location: Winston-Salem, NC
When you're capping a flag in BF2 and you hear the enemy's artillery fire in the distance.
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Old 02-27-2006, 05:15 PM   #23 (permalink)
Insane
 
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....When you consistantly die seconds after starting alive.
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Old 02-28-2006, 04:05 AM   #24 (permalink)
Insane
 
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Location: Hawaii
Quote:
Originally Posted by Derwood
...when you hit the unmarked save point with one bar of energy and 4 bullets (Halo) and every time you restart, that's what you have
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lasereth
...When you're capping a flag in BF2 and you hear the enemy's artillery fire in the distance.
Ahh these ones got me rolling remembering the good old days!!!
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Old 03-01-2006, 06:20 PM   #25 (permalink)
Upright
 
...when things fall apart...like the ceiling, floors, walls, etc.

...when bodies fly past you at very high velocities and screams echo from everywhere (HL2 or F.E.A.R.)

...when someone says "You'll never catch me!"
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Old 03-02-2006, 12:26 AM   #26 (permalink)
Insane
 
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Location: Hawaii
...When you respawn and there's an enemy tank looking right at you. I actually had a guy sit and watch me for a little while before he blew me up.

...When your in a tank guarding a base, just destroying people and you look up with just enought time to see the Jet flying over your head with all the bombs falling out. God I wish I could have got a screan cap of that to show. It looked AWSOME for the second before I died.
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Old 03-09-2006, 05:02 AM   #27 (permalink)
Soylent Green is people.
 
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Location: Northern California
... when an NPC says one of the following:

1.) "Just hold them off for 5 minutes while I enter this code ... "

2.) "I don't like the looks of this ... "

3.) "I'll stay here and keep an eye on things ... You go ahead."

4.) "Follow me" (then he goes running off ....)

5.) "ARRRGGGHHH!!!!!"
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Old 03-09-2006, 01:18 PM   #28 (permalink)
Psycho
 
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Location: new york
... you exit the opponent's base w/ the flag and see that your ride home is just a smoldering pile of metal (Halo2)

Quote:
Originally Posted by djflish
...you press 'Quick Save' by mistake instead of 'Quick Load'
AMEN that right there beats all the rest. I had that happen to me a number of times. Damn you Function keys!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by longbough
Not quite an FPS shooter but I had to mention this one.
When playing Star Wars Battlefront as a sniper ... a teammate with a rocket launcher decides to follow you around ... giving up your position every time he fires.
Dude that happens in Halo2 also. lol such kick in the nuts.
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Old 03-09-2006, 03:13 PM   #29 (permalink)
Who You Crappin?
 
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Location: Everywhere and Nowhere
when your controller starts vibrating while you are neither shooting nor moving
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Old 03-11-2006, 11:29 AM   #30 (permalink)
Soylent Green is people.
 
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Location: Northern California
... in the middle of a multiplayer map ... the doorbell rings, your "significant other" decides it would be a good time to have a heart-to-heart bonding discussion or she decides to vacuum.

Last edited by longbough; 03-11-2006 at 11:33 AM..
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Old 03-15-2006, 11:28 PM   #31 (permalink)
The Death Card
 
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Location: EH!?!?
.....when your digital mouse craps out and you hammer down on it with your fist in a fit of rage because it caused you to die... shattering it to pieces...

never buy a Dexxa mouse
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Last edited by Ace_O_Spades; 03-15-2006 at 11:31 PM..
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Old 03-23-2006, 11:16 AM   #32 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Location: Fort Worth, TX
... When you're capping a flag in BF2 just in time to hear "Artillery fire on your position"

... When the pizza man arrives

... When you're trying to count in your head if you have enough time to cap the flag in BF2 before the other team respawns and is pissed.

This next few are WoW (MMO I know, but still applies):
... When you're playing a rogue stealthed hoping for a PvP backstab and some noob auto-follows you giving away your position.

... When you see a Tauren charging you with a weapon larger than he is.
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Old 03-25-2006, 06:25 PM   #33 (permalink)
Vroom!
 
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Location: Toronto
http://www.hlcomic.com/index.php?date=2006-03-24
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Old 04-02-2006, 09:08 PM   #34 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Wylds of the Western Reserve
Immediately after you quick save you get nailed for almost all your health with no chance of dodging on the reload (I'm looking at you black headcrabs from HL2).
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Old 04-06-2006, 09:09 PM   #35 (permalink)
occasional iconoclast
 
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Location: Flushing, MI
If you enter a large room/corridor with a single button on the other end. I prefer to call it a "DOOM" room, where I just know somethings going to happen from point A to point B, usually related to "ze button".
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Old 04-28-2006, 02:52 PM   #36 (permalink)
Crazy
 
...when you're the only one left on ur team with 2% health a knife and 5 guys left to kill
...when you're defusing a bomb and it finishes a sequence then.......BOOM!!!
...when you hear someone behind you pull out a knife
that was all counter strike source
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Old 05-28-2006, 11:48 AM   #37 (permalink)
MSD
The sky calls to us ...
 
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Super Moderator
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You get a great sniping spot and the noob with grenades on your team forgets where you are and decides that recon-by-fire is a good way to check out that room.
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Old 05-28-2006, 07:22 PM   #38 (permalink)
Rookie
 
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When you're set up with your two favorite weapons and then all the sudden the next level starts and bam, you've lost your sniper rifle and shot gun for a submachine gun, a battle rifle and no grenades.
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Old 05-28-2006, 08:01 PM   #39 (permalink)
Devils Cabana Boy
 
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Location: Central Coast CA
When your gun only makes that annoying 'click' 'click' 'click' instead of 'bang' 'bang' 'bang'

When your gun holds 6 and there are 8 enemies closing fast

When half of your team are noobs with claymores

When your pilot says its there first time

When you start seeing the old monster models with the new skins

When all the lights go out and the red or blue mood lighting goes on
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Old 05-28-2006, 09:43 PM   #40 (permalink)
Free Mars!
 
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Location: I dunno, there's white people around me saying "eh" all the time
When the game has friendly fire on and one of your teammates is trigger-happy with his rocket
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