divorce/splitting assets/custody ontario!? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

canuckguy · 12-10-2005, 02:14 PM

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highthief · 12-10-2005, 02:48 PM

See a lawyer. Do not pass go, do not collect $200, go see the lawyer as soon as the office opens. Make a record of everything significant thing said and done from the time the marriage started to right now. If she attempts to stop you from seeing your child, make meticulous notes. See the lawyer, don't yell, scream, cuss, threaten, cajole, beg or do anything other than be cool, calm and collected.

Sorry about the situation, but see a lawyer ASAP.

canuckguy · 12-10-2005, 04:42 PM

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canuckguy · 12-10-2005, 10:00 PM

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highthief · 12-11-2005, 04:16 AM

The cost of lawyer's fees are minimal, nothing, nada by comparison to what you are owed from this marriage - namely your child and home. See a lawyer, my friend. You don't have to go rolling through court on a daily basis, you don't need to spend 10 grand - you do need to get qualified legal advice to protect your interests, no matter what she may say (sorry to sound harsh, you probably still have feelings for her, but you absolutely must protect yourself - she is in the much stronger position here, and this is how many people get screwed in a divorce). A basic lawyer consult - to sit down and do up a basic agreement that protects you - will only cost a couple hundred to a few hundred dollars, depending on where you live and is very well worth it.

Make a full inventory of all shared possessions and what each of you brought into the marriage.

good luck.

Charlatan · 12-11-2005, 06:49 AM

Brian... that absolutely sucks. I agree with highthief, get to a lawyer. Get to one now. You need some legal advise regardless of how "reasonable" she is being. She could be reasonable for three years and then suddenly decide that you can't see your child anymore.

The house may be in her name but that doesn't mean you don't own part of it. She needs to either buy you out or sell the house and split the proceeds.

james t kirk · 12-11-2005, 03:22 PM

Sorry to hear that friend. I recall you just bought the house a whle ago.

Anyway, as someone who has "been there" before, I can tell you as far as the house goes, it doesn't matter who's name the house is in, who paid for it, or anything else.

It's called the "marital home"

In the event of divorce, the "marital home" is split 50 / 50 regardless, unless you signed a marriage contract waiving that right.

Family law is covered under the Ministry of the Attorney General.

Here's an exhausing link:

http://www.attorneygeneral.jus.gov.o...nglish/family/

Here's a great link that sort of summarizes it all in plain english....

http://www.attorneygeneral.jus.gov.o...y/familyla.pdf

james t kirk · 12-11-2005, 03:29 PM

In my case, we were living together, but we still had bought a house and car and had bank accounts etc.

My ex is a story unto itself, however, she was smart enough to know that if we went to war, only the lawyers would win.

We hashed out a deal ourselves (it took 4 months of bickering / negotiating / crying / trade-offs, etc) but we finally came up with a deal that we put into writing. We then hired a lawyer who drew up a contract, oversaw the transfer of assets, and we were out the door for about $1,100.00.

Your issue will be very complicated however by virtue of the child.

highthief · 12-12-2005, 03:45 AM

That's the main thing - where a child is involved no amount of money spent on lawyers is going to be too much if it means ensuring the child will always know and love her father.

Yakk · 01-05-2006, 03:26 PM

Important bit from that PDF:

Quote:

When you get married, the law treats your marriage as an equal economic partnership. If your marriage ends, the value of the property you acquired while you were married and the increase in the value of property you brought into your marriage will be divided in half: one half for you and one half for your husband or wife. There are exceptions to this rule. The law also provides that you and your husband or wife have an equal right to stay in the family home. If you separate, you will have to decide who will continue to live there. In addition, Ontario’s family laws provide that you may be entitled to financial support for yourself and your children when your marriage ends. Couples who feel that the law does not suit the kind of relationship they have can make other arrangements in a marriage contract.

Note that common-law marriage and marriage are different. Are you common law, or are you married?

Leto · 01-10-2006, 02:20 PM

My consolation goes out to you Brian. But having seen this happen all around me, I have to give (and emphasize) the advice previously given:

1) Don't lose your cool - be professional
2) Document, document, document (do this: document. everything. refusal to grant visitations, phone calls not returned, access barred.) Lawyers live for documentation.
3) Get a Lawyer. Reasonable and civil conversations do not equal firm contracts. You have rights and need to have them protected. You have a daughter. Your wife performed a (i gather) completely unexpected and unreasonable act. You need to be compensated, and your daughter needs to know that you are there.

finally, you need to steel yourself to feeling lousy. I don't know if this was out of the blue, or expected, if you are legally married or common law, but regardless, you must feel like shit now, and obviously feeling justifiably wronged.

Try not to let your emotions rule your actions until you get yourself organized.

then go and have a decent cry.

12-10-2005, 02:14 PM	#1 (permalink)
canuckguy I read your emails. Location: earth	...............j....................... ............................... Last edited by canuckguy; 11-09-2007 at 08:28 PM..

12-10-2005, 02:48 PM	#2 (permalink)
highthief Junkie Location: Ontario, Canada	See a lawyer. Do not pass go, do not collect $200, go see the lawyer as soon as the office opens. Make a record of everything significant thing said and done from the time the marriage started to right now. If she attempts to stop you from seeing your child, make meticulous notes. See the lawyer, don't yell, scream, cuss, threaten, cajole, beg or do anything other than be cool, calm and collected. Sorry about the situation, but see a lawyer ASAP. __________________ Si vis pacem parabellum. Last edited by highthief; 12-11-2005 at 04:17 AM..

12-10-2005, 04:42 PM	#3 (permalink)
canuckguy I read your emails. Location: earth	......................... Last edited by canuckguy; 11-09-2007 at 08:29 PM..

12-10-2005, 10:00 PM	#4 (permalink)
canuckguy I read your emails. Location: earth	.......................... Last edited by canuckguy; 11-09-2007 at 08:29 PM..

12-11-2005, 04:16 AM	#5 (permalink)
highthief Junkie Location: Ontario, Canada	The cost of lawyer's fees are minimal, nothing, nada by comparison to what you are owed from this marriage - namely your child and home. See a lawyer, my friend. You don't have to go rolling through court on a daily basis, you don't need to spend 10 grand - you do need to get qualified legal advice to protect your interests, no matter what she may say (sorry to sound harsh, you probably still have feelings for her, but you absolutely must protect yourself - she is in the much stronger position here, and this is how many people get screwed in a divorce). A basic lawyer consult - to sit down and do up a basic agreement that protects you - will only cost a couple hundred to a few hundred dollars, depending on where you live and is very well worth it. Make a full inventory of all shared possessions and what each of you brought into the marriage. good luck. __________________ Si vis pacem parabellum.

12-11-2005, 06:49 AM	#6 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	Brian... that absolutely sucks. I agree with highthief, get to a lawyer. Get to one now. You need some legal advise regardless of how "reasonable" she is being. She could be reasonable for three years and then suddenly decide that you can't see your child anymore. The house may be in her name but that doesn't mean you don't own part of it. She needs to either buy you out or sell the house and split the proceeds. __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

12-11-2005, 03:22 PM	#7 (permalink)
james t kirk Junkie Location: Toronto	Sorry to hear that friend. I recall you just bought the house a whle ago. Anyway, as someone who has "been there" before, I can tell you as far as the house goes, it doesn't matter who's name the house is in, who paid for it, or anything else. It's called the "marital home" In the event of divorce, the "marital home" is split 50 / 50 regardless, unless you signed a marriage contract waiving that right. Family law is covered under the Ministry of the Attorney General. Here's an exhausing link: http://www.attorneygeneral.jus.gov.o...nglish/family/ Here's a great link that sort of summarizes it all in plain english.... http://www.attorneygeneral.jus.gov.o...y/familyla.pdf

12-11-2005, 03:29 PM	#8 (permalink)
james t kirk Junkie Location: Toronto	In my case, we were living together, but we still had bought a house and car and had bank accounts etc. My ex is a story unto itself, however, she was smart enough to know that if we went to war, only the lawyers would win. We hashed out a deal ourselves (it took 4 months of bickering / negotiating / crying / trade-offs, etc) but we finally came up with a deal that we put into writing. We then hired a lawyer who drew up a contract, oversaw the transfer of assets, and we were out the door for about $1,100.00. Your issue will be very complicated however by virtue of the child.

12-12-2005, 03:45 AM	#9 (permalink)
highthief Junkie Location: Ontario, Canada	That's the main thing - where a child is involved no amount of money spent on lawyers is going to be too much if it means ensuring the child will always know and love her father. __________________ Si vis pacem parabellum.

01-10-2006, 02:20 PM	#11 (permalink)
Leto Junkie Location: The Danforth	My consolation goes out to you Brian. But having seen this happen all around me, I have to give (and emphasize) the advice previously given: 1) Don't lose your cool - be professional 2) Document, document, document (do this: document. everything. refusal to grant visitations, phone calls not returned, access barred.) Lawyers live for documentation. 3) Get a Lawyer. Reasonable and civil conversations do not equal firm contracts. You have rights and need to have them protected. You have a daughter. Your wife performed a (i gather) completely unexpected and unreasonable act. You need to be compensated, and your daughter needs to know that you are there. finally, you need to steel yourself to feeling lousy. I don't know if this was out of the blue, or expected, if you are legally married or common law, but regardless, you must feel like shit now, and obviously feeling justifiably wronged. Try not to let your emotions rule your actions until you get yourself organized. then go and have a decent cry. __________________ You said you didn't give a fuck about hockey And I never saw someone say that before You held my hand and we walked home the long way You were loosening my grip on Bobby Orr http://dune.wikia.com/wiki/Leto_Atreides_I