11-10-2005, 12:05 AM | #1 (permalink) |
Free Mars!
Location: I dunno, there's white people around me saying "eh" all the time
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Stuff you did at your job that you wish you didn't...
Posting this on my boss' door:
Boy, he was really coming at me... One time....I was just sitting around and waiting for everybody to finish loading the topside of the Airbus A310. While I was waiting, I was looking at the nose of the aircraft and noticed that there was 3 port for microphone, one for the captain, one for the first officer and the last for the cabin which I'm assuming its the whole plane. So, I plugged my headphone into it and said: "Good evenings ladies and gentlemen, my name is Jeff and I'll be your wingwalker this evening. If you have any questions or concerns, please don't hestitate to bring them up to me" And just when I was about to unplug it, there was a voice: "Hey Jeff, this is the Captain, I do have a concern" I replied nervously, "Yes Captain?" "Get the fuck off the goddamn radio" I quickly replied "Yes sir" and then before I unplugged the radio headset, I said "Thank you for flying Fedex Express. Remember, we'll deliever you to the world on time!"
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Looking out the window, that's an act of war. Staring at my shoes, that's an act of war. Committing an act of war? Oh you better believe that's an act of war Last edited by uncle phil; 11-10-2005 at 01:53 PM.. Reason: sorry, underage pic |
11-22-2005, 11:05 AM | #4 (permalink) |
Crazy
Location: Gold country!
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I wish i hadn't...
1) joined the navy in the first place. 1.5) opened the floodback valve on the r-12 plant, causing several thousand dollars worth of damage to the refrigeration system. 2) Had sex with my co-worker, who was semi-senior to me. (ok lay, but jesus, what a headache!) 3) Crashed a 21 foot moving truck into the woods. (I backed down a hill, trying to turn around. It lost traction and slid. I got fired.) |
11-22-2005, 11:08 AM | #5 (permalink) |
"I'm sorry. What was the question?"
Location: Paradise Regained
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I wish I hadn't:
1. Got addicted to TFP porn (THANKS ALOT CELLO, SHESUS, ONESNOWY, NANCY, and all you others!!!) at work.
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I have faith in a few things - divinity and grace But even when I'm on my knees I know the devil preys |
11-24-2005, 11:37 PM | #6 (permalink) |
Eat your vegetables
Super Moderator
Location: Arabidopsis-ville
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I wish I hadn't:
- taken a job working summer stock shakespeare with an ex.
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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq "violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy |
11-25-2005, 06:09 AM | #8 (permalink) |
Addict
Location: Harlem
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Check this one out:
I was all set to write a journal entry about the blisters I got from returning to Tae Kwon Do when my boss walks in with a few questions. Instinctively, I minimize the TFP window and turn to talk to him. I notice him looking over my shoulder with a puzzled expression. I hurried him through the dialogue and out of the office to turn and see what held his attention. On the screen in a Word file that I copied and pasted into a post in the “lover licking our ass” thread in Tilted Sexuality was the following text: "I have never backed away from a sexual challenge but the whole tonguing the asshole thing is a bit much for me. My girl liked to try to put her finger around and near my asshole and I almost elbowed her the first time. (reflex, not intent) Yes, I am a hypocrite. Her ass goes both ways and mine only goes 1. I accept that. But I’m not eating ass and mine is not on the menu." BTW - My contract is up next week. Perhaps I should start looking through those want ads? http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...t=damn+you+tfp
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I know Nietzsche doesnt rhyme with peachy, but you sound like a pretentious prick when you correct me. |
06-02-2009, 06:17 AM | #9 (permalink) |
Asshole
Administrator
Location: Chicago
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You know, I was going to complain, but I love the company I work for and what I do. I guess I'm one of those lucky ones.
Anyone else?
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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin "There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush "We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo |
06-02-2009, 06:39 AM | #10 (permalink) |
Submit to me, you know you want to
Location: Lilburn, Ga
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The only thing I wish I'd done differently is to agree to be the safety and environmental coordinator, the upcoming audit and company changes that exceed OSHA requirements are REALLY stressing me out
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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!! |
06-02-2009, 08:25 AM | #11 (permalink) |
Currently sour but formerly Dlishs
Super Moderator
Location: Australia/UAE
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get hit by an excavator... i flew 5m across and walked away unscathed...im a machine from the future
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An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay? - Filthy |
06-02-2009, 11:31 AM | #12 (permalink) |
Riding the Ocean Spray
Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa
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I lied to a woman I was dating...told her I was going fishing for the weekend with my boss but I actually went to visit another out-of-town female friend for the weekend. The first one called my boss when I didn't come home late Sunday to make sure I was OK...he told her he didn't know anything about going fishing...lies are bad and it's a doublely bad idea to involve your boss in a lie he knows nothing about.
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job, stuff |
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