Shit happens. . .in various world religions
 

I searched 5-6 pages back in this forum to see if it was here, and I didn't see it sooo..... here goes! (note: there may be one or 2 or 5 that aren't "real" religions, fyi)

TAOISM: Shit happens.

CONFUCIANISM: Confucius say, "Shit happens".

ZEN: (What is the sound of shit happening?)

JESUITISM: If shit happens and when nobody is watching, is it really shit?

ISLAM: Shit happens if it is the will of Allah.

COMMUNISM. Equal shit happens to all people.

CATHOLICISM: Shit happens because you are bad.

PSYCHOANALYSIS: Shit happens because of your toilet training.

SCIENTOLOGY: Shit happens if you're on our shit list.

ZOROASTRIANISM: Bad shit happens, and good shit happens.

UNITARIANISM: Maybe shit happens. Let's have coffee and donuts.

RIGHT-WING PROTESTANTISM: Let this shit happen to someone else.

JUDAISM: Why does shit always happen to US?

REFORM JUDAISM: Got any Kaopectate?

MYSTICISM: What weird shit!

AGNOSTICISM: What is this shit?

ATHEISM: I don't believe this shit!

NIHILISM: Who needs this shit?

AZTEC: Cut out this shit!

QUAKER: Let's not fight over this shit.

FORTEANISM: No shit??

12-STEP: I am powerless to cut the shit.

VOODOO: Hey, that shit looks just like you!

NEWAGE: Visualize shit not happening.

DEISM: Shit just happens.

EXISTENTIALISM: Shit doesn't happen; shit is.

SECULAR HUMANISM: Shit evolves.

CHRISTIAN SCIENCE: Shit is in your mind.

BUDDHISM: Shit happens, but pay no mind.

SHINTOISM: Shit is everywhere.

HINDUISM: This shit has happened before.

WICCA: Mix this shit together and make it happen!

HASIDISM: Shit never happens the same way twice.

THEOSOPHY: You don't know half of the shit that happens.

DIANETICS: Your mother gave you shit before your were born.

SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST: No shit on Saturdays.

JEHOVAH's WITNESSES: No shit happens until Armageddon.

MOONIES: Only happy shit really happens.

HOPI: Corn fertilizer happens.

BAHA'I: It's all the same shit.

STOICISM: This shit is good for me.

OBJECTIVISM: Our shit is good for you.

EST: If my shit bothers you, that's your fault.

REAGANISM: Don't move; the shit will trickle down.

FASCISM: Shit makes the trains run on time.

CARGO CULT: A barge will come and take all the shit away.

EMACS: Hold down Control-Meta-Shit.

DISCORDIANISM: Some funny shit happened to me today.

RASTAFARIANISM: Let's smoke this shit.

CHARISMATIC: This is not shit and it doesn't smell bad.

MASONIC: Shit happens, but we can't discuss it during Lodge.

RED CROSS: Shit happens - send money.

TFP: Let's talk about shit...

Apathetic-Ain't my shit
Doomsayers-Shit happens, then you die
Republicans-Shit? what shit?

Spammers: Come and get your free shit now! Just sign up 20 more friends' email addresses and you WILL get free shit!

Dadaists: Banana
Surrealists: The truth of shit is found in your dreams...


Modernist: Big, monolithic shit
Postmodernist: Same old shit, new look

Impressionistic-looks like shit

post-impressionist: looks like shit only newer

Situationist: Capitalists take shit and make it palatable to the masses... Spectacular Shit!
Beat: Cool shit, daddy-o

Microsoft-shit happens, but at least we own it

Microsoft: Your shit stinks? What for Shit 2.0 it should be less stinky.

Abstract - you can't see the shit
Surrealist -- my yellow harmonica newspaper

Existentialism- I shit, therefore I am

Linux users-shit ain't happening if it ain't free

UPS - What can shit do for you?
Fedex - Shit on time
Stoner - Shiiiiiiiiit dude!
McDonald - Lovin' shit
Firefox - Rediscover the shit
Google - Shiiit
Morpheus - Free your shit
NASA - Shit, we got a problem

GNU: Collabrative shit

AOL-Oh shit....

Frank Gehry: Wavy, Titanium coated Shit

Burger King: Have shit your way.

Army Special Forces: We'll win your shit's heart and mind, and teach it to kill other shit.

Army-We shit more before 6am than most people do all day
Marines-A few good shits
Navy-Accelerate your shit

Hare Krishnas: Hare... Hare Shit, Hare Shit
Orthodoxy: Thou shall shit here only (no exceptions).

Accountant: Shit counter

entertainment: this is some funny shit

Flyman: Let's light this shit up man

anybody know Jack Shit?

Al Gore: I invented shit.

Sue: my artwork is the shit!


*smooch*

Sub Genius: Bob really has his shit together.

I saw a friend wearing a shirt with most of those on it. I found it to be pretty funny. The best one of the Rastafarian one though, which was last on the shirt; perfect place to put it :)

Neo-Paganism: The old shit is so much better than all the new shit.

Google: The most comprehensive shit search on the web
Yahoo: Shit!

Bumped: Shit's too funny not to keep sharing :D

Great thread!

The Megalomaniac: "my shit doesn't stink."

Narcissist: Oh, I just love my shit!

EMO: Shit makes me cut myself.

Devote your life to exploring the true meaning of "what is shit" ...and aspire to become the top shithead.


ps: Btw, some shithead neighbor of mine left his plastic bag of dog shit next to my free-form natural style azalea plant in front of my house. What kind of shit is that?

lost puppy shit...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...1/lost_pup.jpg

Constipated miser: "I don't give a shit."

Anonymouster: My shit is bigger than I am.