Do you know how to order fast food? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Reese · 05-21-2003, 02:12 PM

I guess this could be fastfood or a restaurant, but I notice it more when people are talking to the speaker. Whenever I order something I know exactly what I want and my answers are quick and to the point. When I'm with someone else they stumble on every question asked. They don't look to see if the place has coke or pepsi and its a 99% chance they are going to order pepsi when coke is the only thing served, They act like they don't even know what french fries are when asked "fries or onion rings" and think you need an IQ of 180 to answer "do you want cheese on that #2" correctly. Then they look at me wanting my answer, I don't really have the heart to tell them its their sandwich, they should determine if they want cheese or not by themselves.

NetterButter · 05-21-2003, 03:59 PM

sign posted in bold large print on the register :WE"RE SORRY, QUESADILLA MACHINE OUT OF ORDER"

them: Can I get 2 cheese quesadillas??

WHAT THE HELL????

me: I'm sorry, our machine is broken (pointing at the sign).

them: "Well, can't you make me one anyways?"

UGH. Shoot me.

dankitti · 05-21-2003, 04:18 PM

me, at burger king:
extra value meal #7, with onion rings, for here. large.

how is that?

KWSN · 05-21-2003, 04:30 PM

#4, extra pickles, hold the onions, super size fries, medium Dr. Pepper, to go, please.

The order of the Gods at McDonalds. There IS no other order.

EDIT: By the way, the #4 is the Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese. At least here it is.

cheezhead · 05-21-2003, 04:40 PM

Doesn't really matter if i have my order ready to go, they always screw it up!

GakFace · 05-21-2003, 04:42 PM

Taco Bell--> Me:
Gordita Combo. All Supremes, Hard Taco. Code Red. And some Cinnamin Twists.

I used to say "Combo 8" but now its T4 or something, so i just call the combo and let them do it.

Burger King, 8 am --> Me:
Double Whopper Combo, King Sized, with fries. Here.
Then I lay down 5 bucks.

Yeah i've seen people stumble I don't get why, you just tell just "Just a minute" as they are always trying to get you to buy something else. Then after that minute ( if you were unsure) you say "k, I'd like.." and no stumbling is needed.

IHOP.. Sprite costs $1.28, if i remember that, I think i order well too. Specially since you have at least 5 minutes to figure it out. And people STILL stumble. Its IHOP, get pancakes, French Toast, or some other good breakfast food, since they always give you tons of it, with even more pancakes. Is it that hard to order? I'm with you on this one.

DEI37 · 05-21-2003, 05:25 PM

I don't step up to the counter until I'm positive as to what I want. Especially if it's any kind of busy. I hate waiting, and don't want to make others wait as well. It's just rude.

At Taco Bell:
1 - Steak Baja Chalupa w/o lettuce
1- Chilli Cheese Burrito
1- Medium drink

At McDonald's:
Either the Double Quarter w/cheese combo or the Grilled Chicken Sandwich combo.

At Burger King:
Sourdough Bacon Cheeseburger Combo

Dont' go to Hardee's anymore...too much $$, although it's a good bit better than the other fast food places.

Atropos4 · 05-21-2003, 05:56 PM

I used to work at Arby's about 4 or 5 years ago. I know EXACTLY what you are talking about!

qpid · 05-21-2003, 06:24 PM

Hell I use to work at McD in drivethru and my fav thing to happen:

I'd like a (stupid order with a lot of BS and yelling at the kids to see what they want, i mean who the fuck cares what the kids want hell when i was a kid my mom ordered my food and if i didn't like it I went without, sheesh)... to go

WTH they ordered it to go in drivethru, sheesh

Krycheck · 05-21-2003, 06:34 PM

As I drive up to the speaker..

Hi welcome to (enter fast food joint here), would you like to try our blah blah blah combo? (pre-recorded)

Can I have a number six, no pickels with a...What would you like to drink with that? ..um a Dr. Pepper plz.
So that's a 6 with no onions and a Coke?

or

Hi may I take your order please?

May I have a..One second please!

Never fails. I alwasy know what I want. It's when I take my family with me and it takes them 2-3 min to figure out what they want when we just waited 5 min for our turn

SaltPork · 05-21-2003, 07:35 PM

BK: #2 with cheese and bacon-king sized, to go

McD's: #1 super size and a double cheeseburger

Simple, quick and to the point, but the moron's working there can't quite handle the speed with which I place my order.

I worked at BK for a long time. I know that most of the people working there don't give a shit, so I'm tolerant.

Fly · 05-21-2003, 07:49 PM

uhh...can i please have a fur burger with uhhhh,thighs on the side(hold the ketchup)a nipple thick shake and uhhhhh......a cherry bendover for dessert

Sion · 05-21-2003, 09:40 PM

lol good order flyman.

you think the fast food thing is bad, you should try answering the phone at a pizza shop near a large university on a friday or saturday night between 1 and 3 am (ie when every drunk on campus decides to call).

typical conversation (my thoughts in parentheses):

me: Thank you for calling Generic Pizza, how can I help you?
it: yeah, I wanna order a pisha.
me: (no shit. really? you sure you werent trying to call for a paramedic to pump your stomach, you drunk fuckhead?) sure, what would you like?
it: {yelling to buddies in background} hey, what kinda pisha you guysh want? {to me} hang on a shec.
me: (I'll put this drunk idiot on hold so he figure out what he wants. meanwhile I can answer another call) ok, can you hold for a moment?
it: uh yeah, ok, LARGE!
me: (great, he figured it out) ok sir, and what would you like on that large pizza?
it: um, er, hold on, 'kay? {yelling to his buddies again} hey, hey, HEY!! what do yoush ijits wanna get on tha pisha? {lots of confused yelling in background}
me: pardon me sir while I put you on hold for a moment.

click

In the next 90-120 seconds I take three other orders, check the ovens, pull, slice and box 3 pizzas and route them with the drivers. Then I return to the drunk on line 1.

me: Thank you for holding sir, so, that was one large pizza. Have you decided on toppings?
it: {no answer, but can hear noises in the background. sounds suspiciously like a bong hit}
me: sir? are you still there?
it: cough cough cough hack choke cough hack cough {yep, suspicion confirmed} somebody gimme a beer.
me: sir, have you decided on toppings for your pizza?
it: what? oh yeah. hey guysh, what da fuck we want on tha pisha?
me: (fucking idiot already forgot he was ordering a pizza) perhaps you'd like to call back when you have your order ready sir?
it: what? no, hang on. {sound of phone dropping, more yelling and arguing} ok, im back. gimme two small pishas, one pepperoni and one extra cheese.
me: ok thats two small pizza, one with pepperoni and one with extra cheese. will that be all?
it: yeah, no wait, can you bring us a twelve pack?
me: no sir, Im sorry but Generic Pizza doesnt have beer.
it: shit. well how about if the delivery guy picks up some on the way over here? we'll tip him extra...
me: im sorry sir, but thats against company policy and probably the law too.
it: well fuck you then asshole. yer pisha sucks anyway.
me: thank you for calling Generic Pizza, goodnight, dick!

click

used to get that same basic call about twice an hour during the drunk rush.

dont even get me started on what its like delivering pizzas during that same time period.

icy_ca · 05-23-2003, 12:14 PM

Then to top it all off, after they're mentally drained from the exertion of deciding what deep fried cholesterol rich, poison in a bucket they would like, they are stunned to find out that MONEY IS REQUIRED. Now the cerebral assasin has to dig through any and all bags/pockets they have with them to find their money.
It's astounding sometimes...

uncle phil · 05-23-2003, 12:43 PM

like, uh...twoallbeefpattiesspecialsaucelettucecheesepicklesonionsonasesameseedbun...

hrdwareguy · 05-23-2003, 01:32 PM

McDonalds-> Number 1 (Big Mac Combo) and I want leaf lettuce instead of chopped lettuce.

About 80% of the time they have to ask a manager how to ring up leaf lettuce.

supernova · 05-23-2003, 02:03 PM

Go to clip#3 on http://www.danecook.com/
explains it all perfectly.

I also hated those assholes who would tape a"Intercom Broken, Please Yell" sign on the drive through intercom.

cheezhead · 05-23-2003, 03:27 PM

I still insist that these burger flip-in pinheads behind that speaker can not get a simple order right, Big Mac, no pickles please! I get home and i get pickles!!! Yuk!

Ogre840 · 05-26-2003, 01:28 PM

Number one, circumsized, with a cock... just to see what they say...

-OR-

Fifty Yumbo Yacks, at jack and the box... it will take them an hour to figure out yumbo yack equals jumbo jack, let along grasp FIFTY... drive through only please

Zotz · 05-27-2003, 04:39 PM

I love it when you place your order, add at the end, "To go please" and the person behind the counter then asks, "For here or to go?" It instills me with a great deal of confidence that my order will be 100% correct when I get it.

Midlandmadman · 05-28-2003, 08:48 AM

In general I am quite tolerant of the people that work at Fast food places but one day...............

I'm in the drive thru for McDonalds, breakfast time. I order 2 sausage biscuits with egg . I tell them make sure there is no cheese on them. The person taking my order assures me there isnt cheese on thoes. This is the one reason I order these cause I hate cheese. I say great......get my food.... and yeah you got it............ cheese......normally I scrape cheese then piss and moan.... but not today... I went in Told the cashier what happened.... she looked at my bill , smiled and politely to me..... "these arent supposed to have cheese but it looks like someone made a mistake.... (no kidding, but then she added) ".... at least we didnt charge you for extra cheese! hehehe " How I managed to refrain myself from killing her... is beyond me.

Sticky · 05-28-2003, 09:10 AM

No matter how long some people wait in line, the first time they ever give any thought to what they want is when the are asked by the cashier.

sadistikdreams · 05-28-2003, 01:42 PM

I really hate when they ask you for shit that you didnt even order...

SadistikDreams: I'll take a number 2 and a medium coke.
STOOPID EMPLOYEE: Would you like to supersize?
SD: Nope.
SE: Would you like a turnover?
SD: No.
SE: Are you in our (stupid discount card club)
SD: No. Can I just have what I ordered?
SE: Uuuuuhhhh... um. What did you order?
SD: *strangles stoopid employee* NUMBER 2 AND A MEDIUM COKE!!!
SE: *rubs neck* would you like to supersize that sir?

Leander · 05-28-2003, 02:02 PM

The other day I'm in the drive thru at a McDonald's. The problem is the idiot in the minivan in front of me that has been going 30 in a 50 also pulls into the drive thru in front of me. She stares at the menu board for a minute and then orders a side salad. The guy inside asks what kind of dressing does she want. This starts the problem. Well, what do you have, she asks.
We have ranch, vinaigrette, blue cheese and ceasar.
So she says Can I have lite Italian?
At this point I was pissed, on my way to my crappy job and she's a moron, so I yell out my window, Did the man say he had ANY FUCKING Italian. Get the Ceasar.
Sure enough after another me she gets the Ceasar.
But the biggest kick in my ass, is that she parks after getting her order to eat it. Why didn't she just go inside in the first place?

05-21-2003, 02:12 PM	#1 (permalink)
Reese Delicious	Do you know how to order fast food? I guess this could be fastfood or a restaurant, but I notice it more when people are talking to the speaker. Whenever I order something I know exactly what I want and my answers are quick and to the point. When I'm with someone else they stumble on every question asked. They don't look to see if the place has coke or pepsi and its a 99% chance they are going to order pepsi when coke is the only thing served, They act like they don't even know what french fries are when asked "fries or onion rings" and think you need an IQ of 180 to answer "do you want cheese on that #2" correctly. Then they look at me wanting my answer, I don't really have the heart to tell them its their sandwich, they should determine if they want cheese or not by themselves. __________________ “It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick” - Dave Barry

05-21-2003, 03:59 PM	#2 (permalink)
NetterButter Crazy Location: in a hole, ventura county,cali	sign posted in bold large print on the register :WE"RE SORRY, QUESADILLA MACHINE OUT OF ORDER" them: Can I get 2 cheese quesadillas?? WHAT THE HELL???? me: I'm sorry, our machine is broken (pointing at the sign). them: "Well, can't you make me one anyways?" UGH. Shoot me. __________________ www.holeinthe.net

05-21-2003, 04:18 PM	#3 (permalink)
dankitti Crazy	me, at burger king: extra value meal #7, with onion rings, for here. large. how is that? __________________ Aw' little girl, there ain't no time To wash yer stinky hand Go 'head 'n' roll over I'm goin' in you again In you again In you again In you again... --Frank appa I Have Been In Yo

05-21-2003, 04:30 PM	#4 (permalink)
KWSN green	#4, extra pickles, hold the onions, super size fries, medium Dr. Pepper, to go, please. The order of the Gods at McDonalds. There IS no other order. EDIT: By the way, the #4 is the Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese. At least here it is. __________________ Your arms are broken! Last edited by KWSN; 05-21-2003 at 04:44 PM..

05-21-2003, 05:25 PM	#7 (permalink)
DEI37 Go faster! Location: Wisconsin	I don't step up to the counter until I'm positive as to what I want. Especially if it's any kind of busy. I hate waiting, and don't want to make others wait as well. It's just rude. At Taco Bell: 1 - Steak Baja Chalupa w/o lettuce 1- Chilli Cheese Burrito 1- Medium drink At McDonald's: Either the Double Quarter w/cheese combo or the Grilled Chicken Sandwich combo. At Burger King: Sourdough Bacon Cheeseburger Combo Dont' go to Hardee's anymore...too much $$, although it's a good bit better than the other fast food places. __________________ Generally speaking, if you were to get what you really deserve, you might be unpleasantly surprised.

05-21-2003, 04:40 PM	#5 (permalink)
cheezhead Psycho Location: FL	Doesn't really matter if i have my order ready to go, they always screw it up!

05-21-2003, 04:42 PM	#6 (permalink)
GakFace Go Ninja, Go Ninja Go!! Location: IN, USA	Taco Bell--> Me: Gordita Combo. All Supremes, Hard Taco. Code Red. And some Cinnamin Twists. I used to say "Combo 8" but now its T4 or something, so i just call the combo and let them do it. Burger King, 8 am --> Me: Double Whopper Combo, King Sized, with fries. Here. Then I lay down 5 bucks. Yeah i've seen people stumble I don't get why, you just tell just "Just a minute" as they are always trying to get you to buy something else. Then after that minute ( if you were unsure) you say "k, I'd like.." and no stumbling is needed. IHOP.. Sprite costs $1.28, if i remember that, I think i order well too. Specially since you have at least 5 minutes to figure it out. And people STILL stumble. Its IHOP, get pancakes, French Toast, or some other good breakfast food, since they always give you tons of it, with even more pancakes. Is it that hard to order? I'm with you on this one.

05-21-2003, 05:56 PM	#8 (permalink)
Atropos4 Think about it Location: North Carolina	I used to work at Arby's about 4 or 5 years ago. I know EXACTLY what you are talking about! __________________ Minds are like parachutes. They work better open. "If I were Hermione, I would have licked his pantleg."

05-21-2003, 06:24 PM	#9 (permalink)
qpid Psycho Location: Detroit	Hell I use to work at McD in drivethru and my fav thing to happen: I'd like a (stupid order with a lot of BS and yelling at the kids to see what they want, i mean who the fuck cares what the kids want hell when i was a kid my mom ordered my food and if i didn't like it I went without, sheesh)... to go WTH they ordered it to go in drivethru, sheesh __________________ My army will take over the world join us or be destroyed. I am the Emperor Supreme Join the Revolution! Necrophilia - The irresistible urge to crack open a cold one

05-21-2003, 06:34 PM	#10 (permalink)
Krycheck Sultana ruined my evil persona Location: Los Angeles	As I drive up to the speaker.. Hi welcome to (enter fast food joint here), would you like to try our blah blah blah combo? (pre-recorded) Can I have a number six, no pickels with a...What would you like to drink with that? ..um a Dr. Pepper plz. So that's a 6 with no onions and a Coke? or Hi may I take your order please? May I have a..One second please! Never fails. I alwasy know what I want. It's when I take my family with me and it takes them 2-3 min to figure out what they want when we just waited 5 min for our turn __________________ His pants are tight...but his morals are loose!!

05-21-2003, 07:35 PM	#11 (permalink)
SaltPork Everything's better with bacon Location: In your local grocer's freezer.	BK: #2 with cheese and bacon-king sized, to go McD's: #1 super size and a double cheeseburger Simple, quick and to the point, but the moron's working there can't quite handle the speed with which I place my order. I worked at BK for a long time. I know that most of the people working there don't give a shit, so I'm tolerant. __________________ It was like that when I got here....I swear.

05-21-2003, 07:49 PM	#12 (permalink)
Fly see the links to my music? Location: Beautiful British Columbia	uhh...can i please have a fur burger with uhhhh,thighs on the side(hold the ketchup)a nipple thick shake and uhhhhh......a cherry bendover for dessert __________________ BASTARD SterlingStudios

05-21-2003, 09:40 PM	#13 (permalink)
Sion Dumb all over...a little ugly on the side Location: In the room where the giant fire puffer works, and the torture never stops.	lol good order flyman. you think the fast food thing is bad, you should try answering the phone at a pizza shop near a large university on a friday or saturday night between 1 and 3 am (ie when every drunk on campus decides to call). typical conversation (my thoughts in parentheses): me: Thank you for calling Generic Pizza, how can I help you? it: yeah, I wanna order a pisha. me: (no shit. really? you sure you werent trying to call for a paramedic to pump your stomach, you drunk fuckhead?) sure, what would you like? it: {yelling to buddies in background} hey, what kinda pisha you guysh want? {to me} hang on a shec. me: (I'll put this drunk idiot on hold so he figure out what he wants. meanwhile I can answer another call) ok, can you hold for a moment? it: uh yeah, ok, LARGE! me: (great, he figured it out) ok sir, and what would you like on that large pizza? it: um, er, hold on, 'kay? {yelling to his buddies again} hey, hey, HEY!! what do yoush ijits wanna get on tha pisha? {lots of confused yelling in background} me: pardon me sir while I put you on hold for a moment. click In the next 90-120 seconds I take three other orders, check the ovens, pull, slice and box 3 pizzas and route them with the drivers. Then I return to the drunk on line 1. me: Thank you for holding sir, so, that was one large pizza. Have you decided on toppings? it: {no answer, but can hear noises in the background. sounds suspiciously like a bong hit} me: sir? are you still there? it: cough cough cough hack choke cough hack cough {yep, suspicion confirmed} somebody gimme a beer. me: sir, have you decided on toppings for your pizza? it: what? oh yeah. hey guysh, what da fuck we want on tha pisha? me: (fucking idiot already forgot he was ordering a pizza) perhaps you'd like to call back when you have your order ready sir? it: what? no, hang on. {sound of phone dropping, more yelling and arguing} ok, im back. gimme two small pishas, one pepperoni and one extra cheese. me: ok thats two small pizza, one with pepperoni and one with extra cheese. will that be all? it: yeah, no wait, can you bring us a twelve pack? me: no sir, Im sorry but Generic Pizza doesnt have beer. it: shit. well how about if the delivery guy picks up some on the way over here? we'll tip him extra... me: im sorry sir, but thats against company policy and probably the law too. it: well fuck you then asshole. yer pisha sucks anyway. me: thank you for calling Generic Pizza, goodnight, dick! click used to get that same basic call about twice an hour during the drunk rush. dont even get me started on what its like delivering pizzas during that same time period. __________________ He's the best, of course, of all the worst. Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...

05-23-2003, 12:14 PM	#14 (permalink)
icy_ca Insane Location: Steel Town, Ontario	Then to top it all off, after they're mentally drained from the exertion of deciding what deep fried cholesterol rich, poison in a bucket they would like, they are stunned to find out that MONEY IS REQUIRED. Now the cerebral assasin has to dig through any and all bags/pockets they have with them to find their money. It's astounding sometimes... __________________ After all is said and done, more is said than done.

05-23-2003, 12:43 PM	#15 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	like, uh...twoallbeefpattiesspecialsaucelettucecheesepicklesonionsonasesameseedbun... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

05-23-2003, 01:32 PM	#16 (permalink)
hrdwareguy "Officer, I was in fear for my life" Location: Oklahoma City	McDonalds-> Number 1 (Big Mac Combo) and I want leaf lettuce instead of chopped lettuce. About 80% of the time they have to ask a manager how to ring up leaf lettuce. __________________ Gun Control is hitting what you aim at Aim for the TFP, Donate Today

05-23-2003, 02:03 PM	#17 (permalink)
supernova Tilted Location: NE US	Go to clip#3 on http://www.danecook.com/ explains it all perfectly. I also hated those assholes who would tape a"Intercom Broken, Please Yell" sign on the drive through intercom.

05-23-2003, 03:27 PM	#18 (permalink)
cheezhead Psycho Location: FL	I still insist that these burger flip-in pinheads behind that speaker can not get a simple order right, Big Mac, no pickles please! I get home and i get pickles!!! Yuk!

05-26-2003, 01:28 PM	#19 (permalink)
Ogre840 Banned Location: OlyWa	Number one, circumsized, with a cock... just to see what they say... -OR- Fifty Yumbo Yacks, at jack and the box... it will take them an hour to figure out yumbo yack equals jumbo jack, let along grasp FIFTY... drive through only please

05-27-2003, 04:39 PM	#20 (permalink)
Zotz There's someone in my head, but its not me	I love it when you place your order, add at the end, "To go please" and the person behind the counter then asks, "For here or to go?" It instills me with a great deal of confidence that my order will be 100% correct when I get it.

05-28-2003, 08:48 AM	#21 (permalink)
Midlandmadman Redwing fan extraordinaire Location: Michigan	In general I am quite tolerant of the people that work at Fast food places but one day............... I'm in the drive thru for McDonalds, breakfast time. I order 2 sausage biscuits with egg . I tell them make sure there is no cheese on them. The person taking my order assures me there isnt cheese on thoes. This is the one reason I order these cause I hate cheese. I say great......get my food.... and yeah you got it............ cheese......normally I scrape cheese then piss and moan.... but not today... I went in Told the cashier what happened.... she looked at my bill , smiled and politely to me..... "these arent supposed to have cheese but it looks like someone made a mistake.... (no kidding, but then she added) ".... at least we didnt charge you for extra cheese! hehehe " How I managed to refrain myself from killing her... is beyond me. __________________ Its good to be back.

05-28-2003, 09:10 AM	#22 (permalink)
Sticky	No matter how long some people wait in line, the first time they ever give any thought to what they want is when the are asked by the cashier. __________________ Sticky The Stickman

05-28-2003, 01:42 PM	#23 (permalink)
sadistikdreams lonely rolling star Location: Seattle.	I really hate when they ask you for shit that you didnt even order... SadistikDreams: I'll take a number 2 and a medium coke. STOOPID EMPLOYEE: Would you like to supersize? SD: Nope. SE: Would you like a turnover? SD: No. SE: Are you in our (stupid discount card club) SD: No. Can I just have what I ordered? SE: Uuuuuhhhh... um. What did you order? SD: strangles stoopid employee NUMBER 2 AND A MEDIUM COKE!!! SE: rubs neck would you like to supersize that sir? __________________ "Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials." -Lin Yutang hearts, by d.a.

05-28-2003, 02:02 PM	#24 (permalink)
Leander Crazy Location: The Land o'Toxins and Wudder	The other day I'm in the drive thru at a McDonald's. The problem is the idiot in the minivan in front of me that has been going 30 in a 50 also pulls into the drive thru in front of me. She stares at the menu board for a minute and then orders a side salad. The guy inside asks what kind of dressing does she want. This starts the problem. Well, what do you have, she asks. We have ranch, vinaigrette, blue cheese and ceasar. So she says Can I have lite Italian? At this point I was pissed, on my way to my crappy job and she's a moron, so I yell out my window, Did the man say he had ANY FUCKING Italian. Get the Ceasar. Sure enough after another me she gets the Ceasar. But the biggest kick in my ass, is that she parks after getting her order to eat it. Why didn't she just go inside in the first place? __________________ Just me and God, watching Scotty die..