CityOfAngels

If you could punish the inventors of pop-ups, spam, and spyware, what would you have done to them?

Personally, I'd give them a choice between a and b:
a) Hire different people to follow them around, watching their every move. Whenever they engage in a conversation, one of them will walk up and interrupt the conversation every 10 seconds. While they're walking down the street, every 10 seconds someone will come up and trip them. They are not allowed to use any type of electronic device. Their water and gas will be shut off every 5 minutes, and won't come back on for another half-hour. After every bite of food, someone will come up and steal the meal, forcing them to buy a new one after each bite. This will last for the rest of thier lives.
or...
b) Boil them in a large vat of oil; slowly lowering them into the oil until they're stomach-deep and then just drop 'em in.

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The words "love" and "life" go together. It is almost as if they are one. You must love to live, and you must live to love, or you have never lived nor loved at all.

JumpinJesus

Implant a device withing their cranium that forces feeds of Jackie Collins' books on audiotape read at full scream by Carrot Top and another device that overrides their optic nerves at random intervals with images of a nude Marlon Brando (post Godfather years) rubbing margarine all over Carnie Wilson (pre gastric bypass).

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"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses

bundy

it would involve one 14'' Ribbed Dildo and their bot-bots.

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Ohayo!!!

Fly

i'm goin' with a:.........plus....pull their toenails out slowly with needle nosed pliars.

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BASTARD

SterlingStudios

pattycakes

make them pee their pants when they least expect it

anonymity_sucks

I don't know, some of the above entries (ignoring the original) seem pretty basic.

Seeing as how this is one of the main things which can make my job a living hell (besides the users of course), here's what I'd go with:

1. Sign them up for every spam / normal mail garbage / polls / and any other form of communication which would end up sending as much useless information about some or other product ( only $19.95) to every phone#, and address for them and their family members.

2. Start an advertising campaign on TV and billboards showing their faces, and what exactly what they do for a living with the above said addresses and phone#'s on it.

3. Their new full-time job with mandatory 20 hours of overtime a week would be to go out and fix anyone's computer who has been infested with spyware personally for $6.00/hr (Let's just call it community service).

4. Seize any form of payment they received for coming up with / implementing / spreading the software to begin with and use it to educate computer users of what exactly Spyware is, how to get rid of it, and why not to click on every 'Yes' button they see on the internet for free software to begin with.

5. Their (and their family's) houses / vehicles / etc. are 'upgraded' by wall papering advertising everywhere. Said advertising may be replaced at any time 24/7 at the whim of anyone who has ever had to deal with Spyware (This should be seen as an 'enhancement to normal service').

I happen to be in the technical support industry, and spyware causes a greater percentage of issues on client computers than even illiterate computer users (amazing, I know).

Mephex

Take away their 40 mil in venture capital, and sentance them to a life of manual labor.

Crack

Kill their pets.

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Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex.

~Halx

dobster

Glue their feet to their hands.

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sig-na-ture
1. One's name as written by oneself.
2. The act of signing one's name.
3. A distinctive mark, characteristic, or sound indicating identity.

macsmith230

Receiving end of the Japanese Gang Rape.
Though I'm not sure that would be bad enough.

superiorrain

i would install every spyware software into their computer, have spam overloading their computers and have popups popping up at a rate of 1 every second. Then would ask them kindly to visit every porn site on the net. Only once they have seen them all can they leave their desk.

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"The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible." - Arthur C. Clarke

anonymity_sucks

I like the way you're thinking, though I'm not sure if making them visit EVERY porn site would be a punishment, unless you're just saying that because there are soo damn many of them.

Irishsean

Just post all their personal information in a public forum, and then charge them to advertise it.

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There are no absolute rules of conduct, either in peace or war. Everything depends on circumstances.
Leon Trotsky