ShaniFaye

1. Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer?

2. Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use, the bubbles
are always white?

3. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

4. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?

5. On electric toasters, why do they engrave the message "one slice"?
How many pieces of bread do they think people are really gonna try to
stuff in that slot?

6. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their
vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it
down to give the vacuum one more chance?

7. Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you
first try?

8. How do those dead bugs get into those closed light fixtures?

9. Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying
your clothes would they eventually just disappear?

10. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
shopping cart than apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all
right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you
stupid idiot?"

11. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's
falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

12. Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash
pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?

13. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in
summer when we complained about the heat?

14. How come we never hear father-in-law jokes?

15. If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your
wife told you to do it?

16. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans
is suffering from sort of mental illness. Think of your three best
friends, if they're okay, then it's you.

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Crack

In my house, yes, yes it does...

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Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex.

~Halx

Fly

hahahaha.........some of these are good.........and so true.

__________________
BASTARD

SterlingStudios

vermin

1. yes
2. Bubbles are clear, the white comes from the color of the light they're reflecting/refracting.
3. no
4. We all know that plants can grow
5. In case you're toasting one slice instead of two. If you put the single slice in the wrong side you can screw up the toaster's karma.
6. Hard to answer this one, if I pick it up it goes into an ashtray or garbage can, not back on the floor. Mr. vacuum gets one chance to prove itself, and if found unworthy, must spend the remainder of the day in the "closet of shame".
7. You are cursed.
8. They crawl in between the wire and its insulation.
9. In a cloud of smoke and flames, yes.
10. Ya never know who's packin' heat and is on their last nerve. Accidents happen, let it go.
11. See number 7.
12. Yes.
13. Some of us are never happy unless we have something to complain about.
14. It's not funny to mock the retarded.
15. If at first I don't succeed, then I read the instructions (after digging them out of the garbage).
16. I don't have three friends, and I enjoy my mental illness.

So how did I score? This was a test, right?

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If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.

Fly

hahahahahah.........nice vermin

__________________
BASTARD

SterlingStudios