skier

I'm sure you could mop the floor with one or two little 5 year olds. But what if they all came swarming at you? How many do ya think you could take out by yourself before you succumbed to their numbers? And no you don't have a baseball bat.

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swillen

7 of the little guys - first 2 or 3 would be straight one punches. If they got a hold of my arms and legs I would be doomed.

feelgood

LOL

God, I never even thought of that but...maybe...10 or so if I feel like using my kicking power...

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Looking out the window, that's an act of war. Staring at my shoes, that's an act of war. Committing an act of war? Oh you better believe that's an act of war

stonegrody

I'd say about 8. I think I could keep them at a distance for a little while but once one of them gets a hold of me, I'm sure the others would swarm in. 5 year olds aren't afraid of biting either...

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micah67

Are you thinking of the swarms of rugrats that attack lone-tourists and strip them of their wallets (and more if they fight)?

7

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~micah

itlain

Actually this is sort of an odd question. I know when I was younger a situation like this actually happened to me. I think I was about 12 at the time and for some reason I got rushed by like 7 of the fuckers. Needless to say at the time it took quite a while to get them all off of me. I think they were at it for almost 20 minutes or so. Complete and total pain in the ass. In the end I felt really bad though since I think I had actually hurt a couple of them

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uncle phil

'ckin' 5-year-olds? bunch of pervs...

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Crack

all of em... and a Panda, and a crackprogram.

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~Halx

Fremen

All you gotta do is pick you the right sized kid for your body weight, grab them by the ankles and swing 'em like a Louisville Slugger.
I figure I could take out about 50-60 of the little 'rats.
Especially if I was pissed-off because of their incessant caterwauling and grubby hands being all over the furniture! *grinds teeth*

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afraidofninjas

I am figuring, when I used to play rugby, I could drag 5 big men about 15 yards... Since I am not in that kind of shape anymore, and assuming that the 5 year olds are not trained in the ninja arts.... I'm going to say 15. Unless I am tired that day, in which case 10. That is factoring the swarming and also my crippling laziness.

Mr_Chainsaw

I would say I could take about 10 or so.....I could take half off them down with a tackle if they were in a group....maybe a few more with some leg sweeps

skier

To answer my own question, I think I could handle about 12 before one of them got a hold of my nuts. Then it would be over pretty quick- me stopping to deal with the little fucker, and the rest swarming me taking me to the ground.

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paddyjoe

luckily, I'm a ninja. I'd fuck em all up.

warrrreagl

I have no answer, but I'm enjoying the hell out of this thread, right up until the point where all the perpetually enraged parents in the TFP come flying over here and start squawking at us.

***Why, no, officer. I didn't see a thing. Honest.***

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MrFlux

I'd like to answer, but I'm currently being swarmed with 5 year olds... Gimme 20mins...

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flux (n.)
Medicine. The discharge of large quantities of fluid material from the body, especially the discharge of watery feces from the intestines.

Averett

That's what I was going to say! Well, the first part. Grab one and swing em around.

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Grancey

Well, when my brother's child was 5, the kid used to sit on the floor, grab my leg and not let go. Everyone, including my sinister-in-law, thought this was real cute. I thought otherwise. BTW...this was the same brother who blamed me when their sheltie humped my leg. Oh, but back to the main question....I was taken out by one 5-yr-old.

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tooth

Are they armed? If so, with what?

If not, I would imagine, assuming that I am being threatened with my life, that I could figure a way to keep the entire hoard at bay indefinitely. They are generally small and weak. Some serious adult-sized physical contact pain-inflicting type stuff could incapacitate any 5 year old real quick.

That, or just turn the lights out and make scary noises. That'll scare the piss out of the whole lot of 'em real quick.

the_marq

Well we're talking five year olds here. Unless the little bastards have been trained as wee ninjas, or are feral, I really don't think I would have that much trouble KO'ing four or five of them right away. Once they first few are bleeding and crying I think the tide would turn and I could chase each one of them down one at a time and kick the shit out of them as they tried to escape.

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The Truth:

Johnny Cash could have kicked Bruce Lee's ass if he wanted to.

#3 in a series

bundy

i've only got $20 on me... and its not tight-arse tuesday at the movies, so i guess i could only really take two out for dinner and a movie...

its alright officer, i'm just babysitting them, i promise.

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Munku

I could take at least 100. As soon as I knocked one out cold the rest would shit themselves and run off.

fhqwhgads

27. Don't ask how I know, but I counted 27.

paddyjoe

Ohh bundy. You are just so sick

Scorps

Well my daughter is 5 and she can take me down......but most of the time we are just play fighting. But I think 2 could take me out if I didn't know they where coming and got me when I was watching TV!

the_marq

What if I got the jump on them?

Say, for whatever reason I decided to attack a group of 5 year olds...y'know, like while they were drinking Kool-ade or something. I think if surprise was on my side, and they couldn't get away I could easly drop 30-40 of 'em before I got tired out from all the stompin'.

Maybe I am thinking about this too much.

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The Truth:

Johnny Cash could have kicked Bruce Lee's ass if he wanted to.

#3 in a series

Scorps

Thinking about it just a little to much!

Rodney

I've worked yard duty at a kindergarten, so from that perspective, here's my opinion:

On the pro side: most of them are under three feet tall, so they can't reach very high. And they are weak, and tend to cry if hurt.

On the con side: I have run into a few very husky five-year-olds, overweight but also built big. They wouldn't go down easily. And there some five-year-olds who just never take "no" for an answer, nor fall down and stay down. Small customers, but tough. Not to mention the occasional psycho, the pale kid whose eyes never quite focus and always has the same goofy grin on his face as he slams someone's face into the wall.

But they are light; so I'd pick up the ones nearest me and throw them on the others. Some of them might dodge, but pretty soon I'd have five or six groaners on the ground around me, and the rest would back off. Five-year-olds are dim, but not stupid. And if you had access to a garden hose, you could stand off dozens; they hate getting wet.

The more stubborn and sneaky five-year-olds would still try to get around my back and get me from behind, but they're noisier than they think they are and it's pretty easy to hear them coming. In short, if you're strong enough to toss them around, you can hold a bunch of them; once a few get hurt or dirty, the rest will back off.

I could probably handle 40. With a water hose, a near unlimited number.

bernadette

i've got seat belts for 5 in my van.

i'd take them out for ice cream & then head them to the playground equipment at the park.

you <strike>freaks</strike> peoples, be nice to the little kids!!!
the children are our future.
remember that when you're wearing your Depends&trade; & they forget to bring your breakfast tray.

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Scorps

I was joking around, and I hope everyone else is too.


I got a 5 year old and love her to pieces

the_marq

Yes I was only kidding around, too. I would never hurt anyone, regardless of their age.

Maybe a better thread would be: "How many puppies could you take out?"

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The Truth:

Johnny Cash could have kicked Bruce Lee's ass if he wanted to.

#3 in a series

rockogre

Can I wear a cup? Is mace allowed? Have they had choclate covered sugar bombs for breakfast?

Ohhhh, now I'm gonna have nightmares, I just know it.

My three year old granddaughter can take me out all by herself with a good jump on poppas crotch.

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Scorps

So it is true, all daughters do that

omega2K4

Are they all attacking at once or are they coming in waves? If they are in waves, I could drop 50 or so. If they are attacking at once, I might could drop 25.

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World's King

That's what I was thinking. If you crack one upside the skull with a iron rod the rest will run away.

And if they don't... keep swinging like a mad man.

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Sion

187 and not a single one more. I'd get awfully tired by then.

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Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz

I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...

Drider_it

ok.. overbearing.. you have say a certian area around you.. with normal size people your size, only so many can get to you.. why you see in a mob scene the victim is passed around the crowd... with tikes its different

we get this playing dungeons and dragons.. normally 8 people can get ya in the game .. but when you go size cat down its like 12..

a bunch of kids dont sound scary, yet they can latch on legs and arms.. they are the right hight to .. well with a dude .. hit the jolly roger a few times.. ive had both my oldest kids on each arm and they were a pain to get off so i could go to work. they are 6 and 5

i bet if 12 or so jumped ya they could get ya easy...

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roadkill

I can take them all on till the point that my mouse clicker wheres outs and i cant reload my gun.. Say in doom 3 or something, but realistically?

Hell 666 of those halfings would easily beat me but then again they are an army and i'm just a guy going to get beat up by all the play ground bullies in the world they win.

irateplatypus

i have nothing to add other than that this thread friggin cracks me up. skier, you are one crazy hombre.

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If you will not fight when your victory will be sure and not too costly, you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all the odds against you and only a precarious chance for survival. There may even be a worse case. You may have to fight when there is no hope of victory, because it is better to perish than to live as slaves.

~ Winston Churchill

fillips

as many punchs as i can throw

Bobaphat

A large number. Essentially, as many as come at me until the point exhaustion sets in. I would guess a couple hundred easy.

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